Some Unholy War
by The Queen of Mean
Summary: Harleen Quinzel had no idea she would end up fighting on The Joker's side in the battle for Gotham's soul. "You need an Ace in the Hole...Harley is mine." JokerXHarley...Nolanverse. The following fanfic is rated M for Mature. Now Complete!
1. A New Patient at Arkham

Some Unholy War

By: Lovelyxlady389

**Disclaimer: I, sadly, do not own Batman or The Dark Knight or any thing affiliated with it. **

**This is my first story posted on the site so please read and review. Oh, and whatever you do, be kind and always go with a smile.**

**By the way, I created my character using the late, great Heath Ledger's performance as Joker.**

**--**

Crimson heels clacked frantically over Arkham Asylum's painted, white floors as Harleen Quinzel made a valiant effort to run in 3 inch pumps. If that feat alone hadn't been enough, she tried to contain what looked like a mountain of scribbled-on paper within her arms, groaning every time one of the sheets drifted delicately to land on the floor in her trail. The meeting in which she was supposed to be sitting had already started and Harleen, now ten minutes late, cursed her tardiness under her breath.

"I am SO sorry.." she panted breathlessly as the door to the massive meeting room swung open to reveal a sea of doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists all staring at her. She felt an embarrassed shade of pink fly to her cheeks as she stepped inside, glancing apologetically up at her Chief Advisor, Dr. Chapman, who happened to be leading the meeting.

"Dr. Quinzel, this may or may not be an appropriate question, but may I ask why you're late?" he asked quietly, peering over the black rims of his glasses at the young, blonde psychologist. Harleen started but looked up.

"Um…From what I heard, a new patient knocked one of the guards out. There was a jam of patients in the hallway trying to watch the other guards deal with him…or her," she replied as politely as she could. Dr. Chapman's grey eyes drifted toward the ceiling as he took off his glasses to rub his temples. "Yes, which brings me to the point of this meeting. We have a new high security patient." He replaced his glasses with a sigh. "Many of you may have heard something on the news over the past few months about this…character called The Joker."

Several people gasped quietly and most of the room burst into stage whispers. Dr. Chapman cleared his throat. "The Joker now lives at Arkham. He was moved from the county jail this morning. Now, where all of you come in…" His eyes scanned the sea of professionals before him. "The Joker, like any other Arkham patient, requires help. Albeit, in this case, A LOT of help. I need someone who is willing to take him on."

As several hands flew into the air, Dr. Chapman continued. "Bear in mind, this man has already driven several prison psychologists to madness. He has killed many people. This is not your everyday 'hearing-voices' case. The Joker is a maniac." The hands came down slowly, one by one…

…All, save for one.

As the room emptied several minutes later, Harleen stood up, smoothing out her skirt, confident in her decision to take on such a dangerous case. But a gentle hand touched her shoulder. "Dr. Quinzel…" Dr.Chapman began, looking concerned. He sighed. "…Harleen..This case is immensely dangerous, I remind you. If at any time you feel overwhelmed, please tell me immediately." Harleen smiled, knowing by the look on his face he wasn't finished. "…are you sure you want to do this?"

"I'm sure, Dr. Chapman, really, I've helped so many people over the last 5 years. I'm positive I can help this poor, deranged…" she paused, laughing slightly. "…What is it he's called? 'The Clown Prince of Crime', I believe it is." He supplied, joining her laugh, his features relaxing. "See? I'll be fine, really."

That afternoon, Harleen prepared herself for her first encounter with The Joker. They would be alone in his cell together, no guards…Was he really as terrifying as everyone made him out to be? She had heard the news very clearly when it was said The Joker blew up the judge's car or poisoned the police commissioner…She wasn't scared, though. Dr. Quinzel, in the professional world, had helped some of Gotham's most deranged return to civilized society and her reputation as a criminal psychologist would not be muddied by some guy in clown makeup.

Her resolve and eagerness was mirrored in her step as she took off down the hall, smiling and nodding at one of her other patients who happened to be out in the hallway. "You off to go see that lunatic?" he called after her, grinning somewhat maliciously. "Which one?" She asked with a polite smile as she turned briefly to see the look on the man's face.

"Discussing our appointments with other patients now are we, Dr. Quinzel?" Harleen turned to see Dr. Sullivan, the chief of staff, falling in step beside her. "You do know I will be watching you closely now that you are attending to our most famous patent."

Harleen felt the stress of that comment set in immediately. This case just became a pivotal point in my career, she thought to herself. Harleen's excitement was now tainted by fear of losing face to her colleagues. She imagined the disaproving look in Dr. Chapman's eyes. Pushing the fear aside, she turned and smiled. "I won't disappoint you."

He nodded once and flashed her a smile. "I have a meeting to get to; I have the utmost faith in your abilities." Dr. Sullivan ducked around the next corner and Harleen's mind focused on the objective.

This light-hearted attitude disappeared just as quickly as it came once Harleen found herself down the long hallway where the highest security cells were. Her heartbeat quickened of its own accord and even the air in the hallway seemed colder than normal. Harleen could feel her nerves working themselves up, which they did normally right before she met a new patient, but there needed to be a new element to this encounter. She needed to have her own mental walls up, knowing The Joker's reputation for turning the tables rapidly and often unbeknownst to the person.

_Oh God…Have I made a mistake? …_ Harleen's breath caught in her throat as the guard standing outside the heavy metal door coughed next to her, tearing her from her thought. "Dr. Quinzel, you're a brave woman.." Kyle, the guard, mumbled as she unlocked the heavy metal door with the designated key…Harleen could feel her face growing warm as she grinned and replied, "well thank you, Kyle."

The room was completely bare save for a single hanging light which cast the corners of the room into deep shadow where in one sat a bed and in another, a chair. She had just finished admiring a small etching of two circles for eyes and a large smile that had been scraped into the paint when a quiet, somewhat sing-song voice floated up from the far corner behind her.

"Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes."

The tiny blonde hairs on the back of Harleen's neck stood up and she found herself covered in goosebumps. But she couldn't let her fear show. It was weakness.

"Mr. Joker…" she addressed him as she turned around to sit down on his wooden chair. "Is it alright if I call you that?" Her eyes focused hard on the corner across from her straining to see through the darkness, but at the same time, he stood up and moved into the light…

He had on a straight jacket.

"Well, let me get a good look at you first." His voice was quiet and Harleen could practically feel his gaze piercing her as she shifted through her papers on her lap.

"You never answered my question. I asked if it was alright if I called you Mr. Joker." Her nerves were taking over her voice, causing it to quake slightly.

For the first time, she looked up at him and found herself mesmerized. His hair was a mossy blonde with streaks of green, faded from an earlier dye job, dirty and stringy as it hung limp across his forehead. Harleen noticed his roots were showing. The infamous white makeup he wore was dirty and splotched in areas, showing the skin underneath. His eyes were sunken back with black makeup, most of which had been smeared into the white…But his lips…she couldn't keep herself from staring and something in the pit of her stomach turned over as he spoke to her in that cold, quiet voice.

"I don't think you have even introduced yourself yet…young lady." his eyebrow arched as a smirk tugged at his mouth and he cocked his head to the side, allowing his eyes to wander over her.

This was it…this was Harleen's moment where she established control in the patient-psychologist situation. This was her moment to dominate the room and yet keep his mind open to her.

"I'm Dr. Harleen Quinzel. I'm-". He leaned forward slightly in his stance, frowning.

"What was it?" She repeated herself shortly, glancing at him sideways, hoping he was about to sit down. He seemed taller than she had imagined him and he had begun to move around her, watching her from all angles as he walked. She could feel her blood pressure rising.

"That's a beautiful name, Doctor." His weight settled onto the bed across from her and he looked down. "And to answer your question…" he continued, his eyes drifting up to meet hers, a twisted grin again pulling at his scars. "Joker is fine…Mr. Joker was my father."

"Do you remember your father?" Harleen asked but started in her seat as an insane laugh drifted up from the bed where The Joker was now laying on his back. It was eerie and she felt it all the way through to her bones. But as she looked up to speak, Joker broke the daunting silence that followed his laugh.

"I love you people…ever ready to analyze. So Dr…Quinzel…Harleen was it? You haven't exactly told me why you're here yet and as you can see I'm very busy." He snapped in a suddenly loud, terse voice.

Harleen glanced over at him, still lying on his back tied into a ball by his straight jacket and she had to stifle a laugh.

"I'm here to get to know you a little better, talk to you, and hopefully you can return to society someday." She replied hopefully, smiling back at him. The Joker sat up, leaning forward with a quiet laugh.

"Well, I'll just save you some trouble and tell you now…" he stood up walking over to lean down at her eye level. Harleen stared back into those black circles and found that she couldn't tear her eyes away. "I am going to escape from this…place." He stood up at his normal height and moved away behind her. "And it's going to be sooo…funny watching everyone else try to find me."

"If you're going to break out, then why are you telling me?" she asked, her heart beat increasing…she didn't like it when she couldn't see him.

"So…" his breath was on her neck. "when it happens…" Harleen shut her eyes. "…I'll get to say "I told you so."

"Joker, I'd like to ask you a few questions," she blurted abruptly, trying desperately to distract herself from the awkward and nervous feelings he was producing in her.

"No, I'd like to ask _you_ a few questions." He shot back, kicking another chair into position across from Harleen before he plopped down on it and leaned forward.

"You're scared of me aren't you?"

"No." Her answer was short and quick.

"Liar." The Joker replied with another twisted grin. "You are so cute, Miss Harley." His dark eyes were glistening in his smile as he bared his yellowing teeth and in an instant, the guard banged loudly on the door outside and Harleen's folder and all its contents flew to the ground, several sheets of paper landing at The Joker's feet over by the bed.

"You know I would help you but I'm a little uh…tied up at the moment." He said and Harleen caught herself grinning at him as she knelt in front of him, the only reason she felt safe being that his arms were strapped to his back. What was he going to do…kick her? For some reason, it seemed unlikely.

"Yeah, I bet that fancy jacket isn't so comfortable, is it?" she asked, refusing to look at him as The Joker watched her pick up the pieces of magazine clippings, newspaper articles and such off the floor.

"No, but it brings out my eyes so well…" his eyes locked onto Harleen's as she stood back up, straightening out her skirt.

"Well, I'll have a word with my advisors about letting you take it off. Tomorrow, though, you are going to meet with me in my office. I can't really work in here." She glanced at her surroundings. "It's a little too dark."

Her heels clacked loudly on the hard concrete floor to his cell as she walked to the door but he followed.

"I'll pine for you until we meet again, Doctor..." His dark eyes were alight in sarcasm, licking his lips as Harleen opened the door, stepping outside into the hallway.

"Kyle, please take Mr. Joker down to the washrooms so he can be allowed a shower." Her eyes flickered to the bars in the door where just The Joker's nose and up were visible; the corners of his eyes wrinkled in a sneer.

"_Pretty_ please, Kyle?…" the clowny voice drifted up from behind the bars.

"Alright, Dr. Quinzel." Kyle replied, an annoyed look on his face as she began to walk off but The Joker's voice called out after her.

"Oh, Doc?" Harleen paused, turning to walk back over to the barred window in the door, her eyebrows raised.

"Yes, Joker?"

"Come here." His voice was quiet and Harleen hesitated for a few moments before stepping closer. Their eyes were only a few inches apart. "If you could… drop a little word with your psycho- buddies... I would really love to have my makeup back." his eyes darted to each of the guards before they narrowed on Harleen's light green ones. She paused, wracking her brains.

"I'll see what I can do."


	2. Anticipation

The light in Mister Joker's room was now off upon a shouted threat through the metal bars and the chair in which Dr. Quinzel had been sitting was now upturned. It looked as though it had been kicked a few times. A tray of cold food sat on a platform near the door, untouched.

He was losing himself between thought and sleep, his eyelids drifting open and closed as he watched the moon cast shadows on the white ceiling. Despite the shower he had been allowed earlier, he still felt filthy, wrapped in his own cucoon like some pestilent vermin that needed containing. Yellow beams of light moved across the ceiling as a car drove past Arkham on the road below. He thought fleetingly of the last car he drove and the corners of his scarred lips turned up in a grin as his eyes slid shut again.

He remembered the feel of the satiny leather under his hand as he drove; one hand on the wheel, the other cluchting a knife glistening faintly with crimson blood.

He remembered his accomplice asking him if he could drive after a while…

…He also remembers rolling down the passenger window before holding a handgun to his accomplice's head and pulling the trigger.

Although this memory would normally have aroused at least a giggle from him, nothing came, and instead The Joker's forehead was wrinkled in a contemplative frown. Strangers who came running to involve themselves in a heist or murder were cheap and disposable and in most cases helpful, but they didn't _understand _ The Joker. And in order to carry out his more elaborate plans once he escaped, he would need the assistance of more than just a henchman whom he would later discard. Plus, he wanted someone to enjoy the sweet smell of post-explosion dust particles with.

Sidekicks weren't his style. He liked to do things spontaneously and it seemed everyone just got in his way. He needed someone to go along with him, no matter what he proposed, yet someone who was smart enough to not get him killed, or worse, caught again. This time around, a capture was _not _part of the plan.

His chest heaved as he sighed, slipping closer to sleep…until the lock clicked and the light turned on as the two guards stepped inside.

"Has anybody ever heard of knocking?" The Joker growled as he sat up, hunching over with his faded acid green hair falling in his face, hiding the fact that he did not have his makeup on.

"We're supposed to take off your straight jacket." One of them mumbled, grabbing at the straps along his back with their massive clumsy fingers.

"Oh, well, it looks like I'm being rewarded for a little good behavior, eh boys?" he chimed from behind his curtain of wavy hair.

"Dr. Quinzel ordered us to." The slightly larger guard replied. "She also told us to give you these."

Three small black compacts, one of white, one of black, and one of red, landed in The Joker's lap and his smile was practically audible.

"I guess I'll have to express my gratitude in person tomorrow. And now I can be nice and pretty for our little date…" he crooned, his voice quiet and almost melodic.

For several minutes on end, the two guards struggled with the tight straight jacket and Joker, suddenly agitated with their incompetency, stood up and began to wiggle within his confinements. The guards stepped back toward the door, their hands twitching toward the taser on their belt.

Within a few seconds, Joker strode over and handed the straight jacket to Kyle. For a moment, he didn't know whether to stare at The Joker's naked face or the straight jacket he had just escaped from.

"Now get out." His dark eyes darted from guard to guard standing there, staring openly at him, their eyes sliding over his scars slowly. The shorter guard moved first, tearing away to walk to the door but Kyle stayed, unable to look away and the more The Joker stared back at his own reflection in the young man's glassy eyes, the more he felt his temper rising.

In one fluid movement, his hands closed around Kyle's throat and suddenly The Joker was all he could see. "It's not polite to stare, Kyle. Unless you think I'm pretty." His lips parted in a sadistic grin as he shoved Kyle toward the door.

"GET OUT!" he roared, his voice bouncing off the walls, magnified ten-fold. The light clicked off again and with a sigh, The Joker lay back down on the uncomfortable bed, grinning slightly as he circled one of the makeup compacts with his finger. _ I knew that little minx would pull through for me..._



Harleen let out an exasperated sigh as she entered her apartment that night, dropping all the grocery bags in her arms on the marble kitchen counter. A loud thundering noise could be heard through the rest of the dark house and it wasn't long before a large black and white pit bull mix rounded the corner, aptly named Jester for his raised floppy ears and the spots of black that covered one ear and one eye. He bounced where he stood, his tail banging against the counters while Harleen tried to put away the groceries, her mind not completely with her.

Her movements seemed almost distant and hollow as her mind drifted her back to Arkham where her new subject was more than likely pacing his cell, mumbling to himself in the darkness… She doubted the fact that he slept. He appeared too full of intensity to ever need rest like a normal man would…

…And yet, he _was_ a normal man. At least he appeared to be. He had emotions, feelings, fears… all the things normal humans had. The Joker, however, had been infinitely successful in discarding the normalcies of human life to replace them with chaos, frustration and anger. Discomfort made him happy, and pain, whether to others or himself, made him laugh.

Harleen shivered as the sound of it echoed in the back of her mind.

Turning to her loyal dog, she knelt down, scratching behind his ears. "You're such a good dog, Jester. I know you would protect me." She murmured, thinking fleetingly of The Joker's threat to break out.

Her long, mahogany table was littered with typed on papers, newspaper headings and articles and even some photos of The Joker's personal effects. That morning, she had left her house, determined to be allowed this case. She had followed it ever since she had begun seeing patients in the Gotham police department. Commissioner Gordon had mentioned his name and referenced his crimes in what few conversations they had while Harleen did evaluations on the inmates, seeing if they were suitable to come to Arkham.

Harleen's pale green eyes sifted through the mess of paper and pictures until they found the one she was looking for. It was a picture of a long silver chain attached to a pocket watch belonging to The Joker. All of his effects had, for obvious reasons, been taken from him upon his arrival to the jail and were now residing in one of Arkham's many locked rooms.

Her eyes took in everything about the watch and chain, wondering what lay beyond the tiny silver door. For some unexplainable reason, Harleen kept getting the feeling that there was something significant about this but until she knew where his belongings had been stored, she would not be able to find out.

The deep red and dark colors to her bedroom scheme seemed to drown the entire room in shadow but as Harleen removed her clothing with a sigh, she remembered why she liked it that way. Arkham walls were a sterile, sickeningly bright shade of white and as most of her time was spent in this fortress of constancy, Harleen could imagine going insane herself if the monotony wasn't broken by some color eventually.

Two hours later, Harleen was crawling into her bed, yawning widely as all the strain from that day came crashing down over her. The Joker was her first patient in the morning and as she got comfortable, she silently hoped that he was a morning person.

The sun rose the next morning all too early for Harleen, but she got up quickly, not wasting any time in placing hot curling rollers strategically through her long, blonde hair. A black, knee-length pencil skirt and white Oxford shirt looked the most appealing of her wardrobe and after dressing, she stood before her large bathroom mirror, staring at her reflection. She groaned, rolling her eyes as she reached for her makeup. Sometimes, she wondered why she even bothered wearing it. To Harleen, it merely masked and smoothed her flaws…If _she _didn't find herself attractive, why try and make others see it? On her dresser stood several glass bottles of various perfumes and after choosing the bottle labeled _Clinique- Happy_ she spritzed herself a few times.

The guard at the front desk looked up briefly as the front doors swung open but his head snapped up again, faster. "Dr. Quinzel," he called, now openly gawking as she walked past his desk. "You look nice today. Did you change your hair?" Harleen stopped walking to look at him.

"No…but um…thank you." She replied awkwardly, her cheeks turning pink, shifting her folders in her arms as she made off toward the elevators again. She checked her watch as the car moved up. _8:48._ The Joker was supposed to arrive at her office at nine and she could feel her heart beating faster as she now walked down the hallway to the translucent glass door reading _'Dr. Harleen Quinzel, Criminal Psychologist.'_

Everything was in place. Harleen folded her hands across her notebook and pen with a heavy, nervous sigh as her eyes scanned the empty seat across from her. It was two minutes until nine. And then there was a knock at her door.


	3. L O S T

"Come in!" her voice was unusually squeaky.

Harleen felt her stomach tighten into a knot as the guards half- walked, half- dragged her subject into the room. The temperature seemed to drop a few degrees and she felt her body give an involuntary shudder as she stood up, motioning to the chair across from her.

The Joker's face was now solid white and the two black circles around his eyes were perfectly symmetrical; apparently, he had been given his makeup and had applied it before he came to her. He grinned, the red painted smile across his face stretching slightly as his two large friends handcuffed him to the chair. Harleen tried not to look at him yet.

"Thank you, guys. Did he give you any trouble last night?" she asked, shooting a half-glance across the table.

Kyle took a deep breath, staring at Dr. Quinzel. "Uh, no…Ma'am."

She knew he was lying but decided not to press further.

The guards now gone, Dr. Quinzel turned her attention to her patient. "How did you sleep last night, Mister Joker?" she asked, her pen poised to accept his answer.

"Like a baby." Came his reply, after he had pondered for several moments. Dr. Quinzel frowned, looking up from her notes.

"Babies usually don't sleep through the night. How many hours did you sleep?" she probed further, scribbling short-hand notes to herself.

"Do you have any babies, Dr. Quinzel?" his head was cocked to the side, his murky eyes glistening in the mid-morning sunlight filtering through her blinds.

"No, but this isn't-" she began, hoping to drown out his voice but indeed, he was a loud person.

"Why not?"

Harleen closed her eyes, sighing heavily as she set down her pen.

"Because in order to have a baby, you have to make one with someone." She paused, searching his eyes with a slight frown, wondering what was going on behind those glassy windows. "And I haven't found someone I want to make a baby with, yet. Now, may I remind you, Mister Joker, this is about you…not me." Her voice sounded firm but was laced with discomfort.

"But why?" he asked, shaking his head as he leaned as far forward was he could for the handcuffs binding him to the chair. "You and I both know that you would much rather talk about yourself." He squinted, smacking his lips together.

And the two stared at each other for several drawn-out moments, wondering who would speak next. Luckily, he did; Harleen, for once, couldn't find a thing to say.

"What is your perfume? It's…" he took a deep breath in through his nose, closed his eyes and exhaled heavily. "…Exhilarating."

"Well, thank you…It's called _Happy_." She replied kindly, refusing to make eye contact with him…she could feel his gaze.

Goosebumps rose all over Harleen's skin as his manic laughter suddenly filled the room. "And does it make you happy?" he asked, still giggling quietly as he watched her grow more and more uncomfortable by the second.

"N-not really..." no sooner than the words were out of her mouth, The Joker was laughing maniacally again, this time bouncing in his seat.

"Then why do you wear it?" he nearly shouted. "Do you like to engage in things that make you unhappy? Are you a Masochist, Dr. Quinzel? _I'm _ not even that nuts…maybe you should be on this side of the ta-…"

"_JOKER_!"

Harleen's voice cracked as she shouted. "…Mister Joker, I am your psychologist. Ergo, I do the question-asking. Now if you could simply _answer_ my questions and not interrupt me, I would be much obliged." Her hands were shaking so she hid them in her lap, knowing The Joker would notice and comment. He sat back, raising his hands a few inches in mock- defense.

"Touchy- touchy, Miss Quinzel…" And he shut his mouth, resolved to happy silence, grinning, watching as his adorable new squeeze fidgeted with her papers and pen.

"How about we start with something easy…" She said after a few moments quiet. "Let's start with your name. Do you remember your name?"

"No." he put flatly, no trace of emotion etched anywhere into his painted face. "I lost it."

"Care to explain what 'lost' means?" Harleen asked, squinting from behind her glasses, her pen dashing back and forth across the page.

He tilted his head back, his eyes closed. "Lost… as in no longer recessed or retained… lost. Would you like me to spell it, pumpkin?" He raised his head to grin at her.

Harleen rolled her eyes at her sheet of paper, scribbling notes.

'_Incredibly intelligent but such an ASSHOLE.'_

"Alright. Well, this obviously isn't going to work, so how about we really go to basics and start off with an inkblot test. For some reason, I'm getting the feeling that this could potentially be very interesting." She explained, standing up to walk over to her desk.

The Joker cocked his head to the side as she bent over behind her desk, unable to keep himself from admiring her legs in that skirt but straightened back up as Dr. Quinzel turned to look at him.

"Alright, I…" she paused, the inkblot pages hitting her side as she dropped her hand, a dumbfounded look gracing her face. "Were you just checking me out?"

"Don't flatter yourself, sweet cheeks." He retorted, gazing blindly out the window at the parking lot below. "Which car is yours?"

Harleen sat down slowly, smoothing her skirt as she did. "That's none of your business."

"Yes, it is. If you don't tell me, I'll still find out." He was now looking at her. Harleen shuffled the tests in front of her awkwardly.

"No you won't." Her voice was quiet, as though knowing that he would cut in and prove exactly how and why he was going to find her car, but to her utter surprise, he was silent with a gratified grin resting across his features.

"So, I'm going to hold up the inkblot and I want you to look at it for a few moments and then tell me what you see. Don't be afraid to be honest about what you visualize." Harleen explained, and once she had her pen ready to jot, she held up the first picture.

Harleen watched The Joker's features as his eyes took in the picture for a moment, before they slid up to meet hers as she studied him. He squinted at the picture, cocked his head to both sides slowly as if getting a good idea of the image. Harleen pressed the point of her pen to the paper, anxious to get his obviously pre-meditated answer.

"I visualize someone shitting on a piece of paper and photo copying it to be used for mental evaluations."

Harleen couldn't even hide her frustration as he giggled. She groaned, resting her forehead in her hand. "Joker, please…" she murmured. "Could you just cooperate for two minutes?"

"Fine, but only because you asked so nicely," he replied, and tugged his chair closer to the table with the handcuffs to see the picture closer.

"Thank you… just tell me what you see here."

"I see a sad young lady." He finally said after a few seconds and Harleen felt her heart begin to race. _Finally, _they were getting somewhere…

"Why is she sad?" she probed, her pen scurrying across her notepad.

"Because she thinks she is ugly." His voice had grown quiet and soft, causing Harleen to look up. He was staring at her.

Her eyes fell to her notes again as she continued to write, but that's when she realized he was talking about her. Her heart seemed to leap to her throat. "Is she?" she couldn't help herself from asking and as she looked up at The Joker, he grinned, staring back at her.

"She's beautiful."


	4. RolePlaying

Harleen groaned as she pounded the backspace key with her finger. This was her fifth attempt at coming up with some form of a professional version of her notes on The Joker's progress through the week, but every time she wrote something down, it sounded stupid, inadequate. But the fact was, she had nothing to write. It had been a week since he started seeing her and every time The Joker was in her office, their conversations went in circles. He answered her questions with questions of his own and, although every morning Harleen mentally swore she wouldn't let him take control of the conversations, he did. At the end of the day, she really wasn't sure who had been the psychologist in the room- her or him.

But he seemed so normal and sweet! Every morning he was in her office, he always bid her good morning and told her that she was looking "lovely as usual." Although flattery from a madman was incredibly dismissible, Harleen was grateful for the compliment nonetheless.

After giving up and deciding she would do the summary at home once she had relaxed, Harleen left her office, locking the door as she went. It was 6 o'clock already. Harleen had this uncanny ability to let time get away from her when she was working on something and now the building was practically empty of psychologists, doctors and her other colleagues. The night crew was left, consisting of nurses, guards and most of all, patients.

The sun was setting over Gotham as Harleen walked to her car, parked out in the middle of the now empty parking lot. Never before in her career at Arkham had she felt so overwhelmed. In her mind, she remembered Dr. Chapman's words of warning and how he had told her to let him know if she were feeling that. But the kind of 'overwhelmed' Dr. Chapman had been referring to was not the kind of 'overwhelmed' she felt. She didn't feel as though The Joker was driving her mad: she felt as though he was absorbing a lot of her time and thoughts. As she slid the key into the lock, her eyes darted up to the top corner window, along the front face of Arkham where a figure in orange scrubs with green hair stood, watching her.

_Guess he meant it when he said he was going to find out._ Harleen thought to herself but grinned and waved nonetheless. She noticed the red line on his face expand and he placed his hand on the window. He grew smaller in her rearview mirror as her car carried her away from Arkham and Harleen caught herself still smiling as she turned out onto the busy, traffic- jammed street.

The following Monday, Harleen practically ran to the elevator. The time was reaching 9:10 and she knew The Joker was waiting for her, handcuffed to his chair, tapping his foot. Her purple pump clicked impatiently against the floor of the elevator as it climbed slowly to the 4th floor but the moment the doors were open, she dashed through it, now half-running, half- trotting down the hall to her office. She skidded to a halt as she noticed the two guards and her patient waiting outside.

"You're late, Dr. Quinzel. That's not very professional of you." The Joker taunted as she unlocked her office door and tried to catch her breath.

"I apologize, Mister Joker. I'd hate to keep you waiting," she replied sarcastically as the guards hustled him inside and proceeded to handcuff him, again, to the chair. Harleen watched them do this, frowning.

"Actually, Kyle. You can leave those off. Mister Joker has a bit of classwork to do today." She sat down across from her patient as both guards gawked at her.

"Uh…Ok, Dr. Quinzel. Just yell if you need us." And with that, she and The Joker were alone again.

"Feeling a little ballsy today, Doc?" he asked, cracking his knuckles and watching her face as she flipped through a folder of papers, her black framed glasses resting delicately on her nose.

"So far, Joker, your behavior has shown no signs of any sort of aggression toward me and as your psychologist, I have the right to remove your restraints or have them replaced." She looked up at him. "So please don't make me regret this decision."

He held up his hands in defense before folding them over his stomach as he leaned back comfortably in the chair. "So how about you let _me _be the doctor today? How about I ask you all the questions?" Harleen did not look up from her search.

"Why should I let you ask me questions? What could you possibly want to know about me?" she asked, her brow furrowing as she finally set down the folder of papers and looked over at The Joker. He sighed, rolling his eyes with a wave of his hand.

"It gets so tedious having to answer question after question all the time when I've already told you there's nothing to learn about me. There's lots to learn about you, Miss Harley." His eyes glimmered in the morning sun and Harleen stared back, a contemplative expression on her face. What harm could it do? She could allow this little game to go on but the moment he started getting serious, she could end it. Besides, role-playing was something she exercised with her other patients anyways.

"Alright," she set down her pen and leaned back in her chair. "Ask away."

"No, now see…if we're going to do this, I'm going to sit there, and you're gonna sit here." He stood up, walking over to her, standing next to her, wiggling his finger for her to stand. And she did, flinching as he whipped her glasses off her face and placed them on his own, sitting down in her seat. He grabbed the pen and pad of paper and leaned back, setting it on his knee. Harleen grinned…he almost looked attractive in her glasses.

"Dr. Quinzel…" he was writing something. 'You're an only child, aren't you?" he asked, gazing at her over the tops of her glasses. Harleen blinked.

"Y-yes…but how did you –"

"And let me guess, your parents were both in this…" he waved his hand at the room around him. "…field."

"Yeah, but-." He was writing faster. Harleen could feel her stomach tighten and her pulse quicken. This was what she was afraid of and now there was no way she could stop him.

"And you were their perfect little angel, weren't you? You made top marks, never got in trouble, and graduated…" he pointed at a plaque on her wall with the pen. "…Yop of your class. You were so perfect…did everything Mommy and Daddy told you, didn't you? But they weren't there, were they, Harley?" He wasn't joking anymore. She felt tears stinging the back of her eyes as he stood up, removing her glasses and walking over to stand behind her.

"Where were they, Harley?" His voice was deep in her ear, quiet and melancholy. Harleen shut her eyes, trying not to panic or start crying but let out a tiny sob as The Joker repeated himself, a little louder. "Where were they?"

"Not there." She replied shakily, her eyes still shut as he giggled almost excitedly in her ear.

"Not there? Well then where were they? Surely the parents that pushed their daughter to excel in everything were there to reap the benefits, right?" he made eye contact with her over her shoulder, that sadistic grin of his stuck in place as Harleen shook her head 'no'. "That's right, because your achievements are meaningless to them. Your existence and success simply justifies their hard work."

He moved around in front of her, placing his hands on the armrests opposite her, his dark eyes level with her bright green ones. "Now do you understand my philosophy, Dr. Quinzel? Nobody in the world really cares about your accomplishments. They want you to live by _their_ rules and play _their_ games and be their little chess pieces." He paused, staring up at her eyes. "The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules. If you upset the established order, the world is your play pen and then nobody…" he shut his eyes, practically trembling as he spoke. "_…Nobody _ tells you what to do."

Harleen opened her eyes and gasped quietly, shocked at the moisture on her cheeks; she had been crying and hadn't realized it until then. Her heart was beating her ribcage like a hammer on bars as The Joker reached up, using his thumb to wipe away the fresh tears on her cheeks and from under her chin. She shut her eyes against his touch, breathing in slowly through her nose as he spoke quietly to her. "My poor little harlequin… So sad… so oppressed …If only there was some way to just let go… Be free..." His index finger was trailing along her collarbone but something in his touch startled Harleen from her sickening trance.

"Mister Joker, I think our time is up for the day." She stood up, wiping her face with her hands as she backed away a few steps, unable to look at him. He sat back down in his chair, peacefully admiring the carpet while she called for the guards, his hands folded over his stomach again.

"Did he give you any problems?" Kyle asked, walking over to link the handcuffs around The Joker's wrists which he extended, his eyes locked on Harleen's as she too looked over at him and they stared at each other for several moments.

"No, he didn't."

The door shut behind them with a soft snap and Harleen groaned, burying her face in her hands as she sat back down in her proper seat at the table. Never in her life had she felt that way before… the way he read her like an open book startled her and yet fascinated her at the same time.

She sat at the table for quite some time, thinking over The Joker's words. _'Where were they, Harley?' _ Business, she thought bitterly. "Business" always claimed her parents from her like an older sibling. That's why Harleen had worked so hard. They never paid any attention to her so maybe if she worked really hard and did everything right, they would acknowledge her, possibly praise her. But that never happened… her parents hardly spoke to her, let alone compliment her. She couldn't remember the last time her dad had called her pretty.

The Joker had also guessed this about her, but back during their second meeting together. He knew that she didn't find herself beautiful …but he did. A few more tears escaped her eyes as she sat and meditated, but through the blur, she happened to see her notebook open and lying face-down on the page The Joker had been drawing on. She flipped it over. All over the paper were hearts and inside the hearts read the names "Harley and Joker… Harley and Joker…" over and over and over.


	5. Power Trippin

Rain pounded Harleen's car as she drove away from Arkham, today not even sparing one glance up at The Joker's window. Their session from that morning still rattled her and goosebumps would make her skin crawl if she thought about it too hard. Why had she decided to let him have control? She should have realized from the moment he suggested switching places that it was a bad idea…Recently, The Joker had been influincing a lot of her decisions, inside and outside of work.

But what really fascinated Harleen was how much he was able to tell about her, just from talking to her for one hour, every day, for a week. And yet everything he dictated to her was true; about being an only child, her parents and how they were never there…She bit back angry tears, her fingers tightening around the steering wheel. Who was she kidding?…He was right. As much as she wanted to discard what he had said, it was too true. Her parents were like two distant relatives, coming and going randomly, bringing presents when they came, made sure she was still head of her class, still making the best grades…

As she drove, she thought resentfully back to her freshman homecoming. The morning of the dance, she woke early and got ready to go and pick up her dress, get her hair and nails done and do all the things with her mother that daughters usually do on the day of their first high school dance. She had bounced into the kitchen to find her mother and father both on cell phones, scurrying to pack breifcases.

"Mom?..." She could remember exactly how it felt to have a finger held in her face for silence while she talked, blabbering uselessly, endlessly on her cell phone. Harleen wanted to throw it across the room and watch it shatter.

"No, no…John and I are on the way to the airport right now…Yeah…We'll see you soon." With a click, she shut her cell phone and tossed it into a bag. "Harleen, honey, I'm sorry but I can't take you to your hair appointment. Your dad and I have to be at the airport in about ten minutes."

"But how am I supposed to get there? How am I supposed to go anywhere?" she cried, her eyes filling with tears, watching as both her parents slid past her through the hallway to the front door.

"Call one of your friends, sweetie. We'll be back tomorrow night, Harley. Love you!".

Harleen stayed home that night.

The following morning, Harleen ambled down the hallway to her office, knowing but not entirely caring that she looked like a mess. Her black shirt tail was hanging out of the top of her skirt and her slept on curls looked unkempt and somewhat frizzy. Faint traces of dark circles under her eyes were just visible under the layer of concealer she had used to make an attempt at looking a little more put together.

Harleen had woken that morning to her alarm going off only four hours after she had fallen into a fitful slumber, waking every half hour from a bizarre dream. Her eyes had stared at the dark canopy over her bed, The Joker's words whirling around in her mind relentlessly. Her parents faces were laughing at her, all the friends that hadnt been there for her joining them. Her nails had dug into her hand so hard she had made tiny puncture marks in her soft skin. And still she could feel The Joker's touch like an old burn, tingling her skin, prickling uncomfortably. He had been surprisingly gentle but still his touch was phantom.

The guards and Mister Joker between them were standing in a line outside her door, looking comically like some absurdly composed trio. She couldn't help but laugh as she unlocked the door, allowing them to lead her first patient in.

"You want us to leave the cuffs on?" Kyle inquired of Dr. Quinzel's back as she stood at her desk, rifling through papers and turning on her computer.

"Yes, please. Thank you, Kyle." She replied quietly, her head bowed as she flipped through a magazine that had arrived in her office over night. She could practically feel The Joker's gaze on her as the door clicked softly behind the guards. "How are you today, Mister Joker?" she asked, now gazing out the window, her back still turned to him.

"Spiffing. And how are you, Miss. Quinzel? Although, if I may, it looks as though you havent been sleeping." He grinned as Harleen now turned and looked at him. "…Is something bothering that pretty little head of yours?" he licked his lips as she sat down across from him.

"How did you know so much about me yesterday? I've hardly told you anything." Her voice was lowered as if she didn't want anyone else to hear her questions, although they were quite alone.

"Yes, you have…One can learn a lot about a person just by putting them into certain situations…" he leaned forward, his tongue dashing out to moisten his scarred lips again. "…You see…You _think_ you can mask your deepest, darkest secrets but the second someone breaks your pretty little façade, your true colors bleed out. People always think they're more mysterious than they really are."

It grew silent, the ticking of her desk clock barely audible as Harleen thought about his words. She then opened her notepad and clicked her pen.

"You said you lost your name." She muttered, distractedly writing something down in her notebook. "Do you know how old you are?".

The random change in subject obviously caught The Joker off-guard and the white paint on his forehead wrinkled in a frown. "I lost count." He replied and Harleen matched his frown, looking up from her paper.

"What age did you stop counting?" she asked, her pen scurrying furiously to copy everything she was finally experiencing with The Joker..he was finally opening up. If only she could keep him distracted with the random questions, it wouldn't give him time to think up something to interrupt with.

"Oh, I don't know…About 16. I don't remember. Time is irrelevant to me.".

"Why do you wear that makeup?" she asked quickly again, but paused in her writing when he fell silent.

"It's kinda my thing…".

Harleen scribbled her notes hastily, anxious to keep moving in the right direction but in full awareness that his eyes were focused on her, watching her as she wrote. Her heart skipped a beat when he spoke.

"Does it depress you to know that all the study…all the hours of endless examination you spend on me just to satisfy your superiors are…completely…insignificant? You will never figure me out." he licked his lips, obviously anticipating her reaction. But to his surprise, Harleen burst out laughing, rising to her feet, walking to the door, tucking the back of her shirt in as she went. She opened it and turned to The Joker, smiling.

"Kyle?" she called, her eyes fixed on him across the room. The guard appeared, looking hopeful. "Could you be a dear and bring me Mister Joker's makeup from his cell?"

Harleen could feel a sense of foolish pride flooding her veins as she glimpsed what she thought could have been alarm in The Joker's eyes and she resumed her seat across from him. "You have your games, Joker.." she practically purred, her green eyes fixed on him from the tops of her black rimmed glasses. "…And I have mine." The Joker licked his lips, a half-lidded smile as his reply.

Harleen stood as Kyle walked in carrying three black compacts- one of red, one of white, and one of black. She took them from him and sauntered over to The Joker, drunk on pride and authority. She held them out in her hand, in front of his face, watching him as he continued to look up at her, a now unreadable expression taking him. She turned to Kyle.

"Kyle, I'd like you to see to it that Mister Joker does not have his makeup again until I say its time." She handed the compacts to the guard, her eyes again falling on The Joker. "And please make sure he attends every single one of our sessions...with or without the makeup."

She walked over to him slowly, taking in his appearance entirely as he loved so dearly doing to her. "Now, I can really find out what kind of man you are, Mister Joker. Never bite the hand that holds the keys…" she was murmuring in his ear, watching his glistening black eyes. "…Especially if you're the one in the cage."

"Kyle," She stood up straight, walking over to her large mohogany desk, standing behind it. "Please show Mister J back to his cell."

As The Joker stood up, Harleen half expected him to attack Kyle or even possibly her but he followed the guards to the door quietly, a content grin etched into his face. "I'll see you tomorrow, Doc. Don't worry…I'll be sure to put on my 'happy' face." With that, the door shut behind them and Harleen instantly began to tremble.


	6. But No One Was There

Harleen sat at her desk several hours later, thumbing through The Joker's now extensive file, looking through the tests she had made him take during their first few weeks of sessions. Although she had read his file front to back, over and over during the past two months, she still looked through everything as though hoping she might have missed something. A grin split her face as she found a long personality test in the folder, taken by someone with terrible handwriting named "Mr. Handsome". The question read "Do you consider yourself a "people- person"? Harleen burst out laughing as she saw that he had filled in the bubble for "Very strongly agree". A tiny part of her heart ached with a pang of longing.

The day passed slowly, patients coming in and out, telling Dr. Quinzel all their problems and why they couldn't sleep at night but Harleen was only half-there. Her mind had drifted off through Arkham to the top corner cell and she was grinning dazedly at her patient as he spoke to her.

"I don't know why, but I just cant keep him out of my mind." He was saying, referring to his father who had beat him as a child. His words brought Harleen back.

"You know…I'm having the same problem."

That evening, Harleen packed her briefcase, careful to take The Joker's folder with her, anxious to get started on that weeks report for Dr. Sullivan. Again, she had managed to stay much later than normal, finishing a pile of patient reports and the sun had already faded and sunk beyond the Gotham horizon, shouting its last rays in jets of purple, orange and red. The asylum was quiet and dark, the air seemed thick with something Harleen could not place as she walked down the stairs but paused a few down, looking back up. The Joker was upstairs in his cell and she honestly wanted to see him…to make sure there were no hard feelings about taking his makeup away so rashly. But then again, he _had_ pissed her off.

So she grinned a little wider, decided she would see him in the morning and continued down the stairs…until a thought occurred to her. She had never, in almost three months of study gone down to look at what exactly The Joker had been caught with. She had seen picture upon picture of him in a purple suit and green vest through the news or press but as Harleen stood there, she was suddenly filled with the desire to go and see them for herself.

The storage room was downstairs, around the corner from the lobby. Harleen disappeared down the dark hallway, her eyes scanning around quickly for anyone who might catch her feeding her obsession. Luckily, the entrance hall was quite empty so Dr. Quinzel stepped inside the small pitch dark room, locking it behind her.

It was full of boxes and locked safes, stacked ceiling high along all four walls of the room. Harleen hoped his things were not in a safe, although she doubted it. Nobody really cared about protecting The Joker's effects…

Her eyes adjusted to the dark quickly and after a few seconds of looking around, she found a large brown moving box labeled "Patient #1576686 –Joker". A huge smile came to her face and made her cheeks hurt as she almost affectionately ran her hands over the printed name.

Inside, were several pieces of clothing folded on top of an old, worn pair of brown shoes and multi-colored socks. As she probed inside the box, her fingers felt metal through what seemed like a plastic bag so she pulled it from the cardboard to reveal that it indeed was a plastic bag filled with knives of all different shapes and sizes. They fascinated her and put an enamored look on her face as she held them in front of her, staring. But something else was catching her attention.

Thick and long, Harleen pulled a purple jacket from the box, holding it up in front of her, imagining what The Joker looked like in it, were he standing right there. It was heavy even just to hold out in front of her but still she stared at it until she dared pull it to her face and take a deep breath. Her eyes slid shut as goosebumps rose all over her skin, making the hair on her arms stand up. It smelled amazing- like him in every way. Even in Arkham's scrubs, he had his own scent and Harleen was addicted. Traces of gunpowder, burnt material and a slight tinge of sweat were laced through the fibers, reaching her nose. She shivered once more before throwing the jacket back into the box somewhat haphazardly; someone was in the hall.

The massive, white, metal doors to Arkham swung open the following morning, revealing chaos and a sea of people either in police uniform or nurses. Harleen paused on the threshold, watching the scene before her as the police and detectives interviewed the hospital staff and her fellow psychologists.

"Harleen!". She jumped; it wasn't often she heard her first name at work. Dr.Chapman was running toward her, his gray hair flapping about his face. Harleen smiled as he reached her.

"Good Morning, Doc-".

"The Joker is gone, Dr. Quinzel. He um..." Dr. Chapman watched her smile fade from her face and he sighed, closing his eyes. "…He strangled his guard, Kyle when he came in to take him down to the showers. He took the set of keys, Kyle's gun, all his things from the holding room. The police have been here all morning."

Harleen's eyes were glazed over as she watched the scene, unsure of how to respond. She glanced around at all the police officers, her head whirling. He had told her he would break out and even then, standing in the midst of his residual chaos, his words from three months prior echoed in her mind like a whisper.

"He told me he would do this…" she murmured to noone in particular. "He said he was going to get out…". Dr. Chapman frowned as Harleen laughed loudly, looking up at him. "…And I guess he did!"

"Harleen, the police want to question you."

"What?" She snapped. "I didn't do anything." Although she had to admit, she had considered helping him escape a few times but had always smacked herself back into reality, reminding herself that she was his psychologist. The thought of helping a mass-murderer escape her asylum was absurd.

"I know but you have to understand something, Harleen. The Joker was with you the longest out of the all the psychologists to examine him. He liked you, dare I say held even stronger feelings for you. He talked about you all the time…" She looked puzzled so Dr. Chapman, gently took her arm and lead her over to the stairs. "I think you need to see this."

Upstairs, the chaos was even greater. The hallway outside what used to be The Joker's cell was marked off with yellow police tape and swarming with crime scene investigators carrying cameras. Harleen wondered if they had already moved Kyle's body. The detectives and policemen stared at her as she and Dr. Chapman stepped past the tape and moved inside The Joker's cell. It was just as Harleen remembered it three months ago, the very first day she had met him. She grinned secretly at the memory.

But Dr. Chapman was leading her over toward The Joker's bed where the blankets were still turned down as though he had just been there a minute ago. She glanced down at his pillow, sharing another hidden grin with herself as she noticed a smear of black paint on the white material.

"Over here, Dr. Quinzel." Dr. Chapman called to her from across the room to the back of the heavy metal door. Harleen followed him and read the words "Harley and Joker, Harley and Joker, Harley and Joker" scratched over and over into the wall, surrounded by little sloppy hearts. Harleen could feel her insides trembling but found that this somewhat romantic display of affection did not scare her in the slightest. She grinned but Dr. Chapman noticed.

"You're smiling? Harleen, the police are concerned for your safety." He was saying, staring at her in disbelief.

"No, Dr. Chapman, The Joker used to write this all the time on the tests I had him take. He didn't really mean it, I promise. It was just a tactic he used to try and scare me." She lied. Harleen had a huge feeling he actually _did _ mean it. But she really wasn't scared. He didn't know where she lived or where her friends and family lived so the chances of him finding her were slim to none in her mind.

"Well don't be surprised if someone comes by your office today to question you."

Harleen looked up from her computer, later on in the day, as a tall, middle-aged police officer entered her office, looking determined. "Dr. Quinzel, if I could just have a moment of your time; I was wondering if you could answer some questions for me."

Removing her glasses, she grinned, folding her hands delicately across her desk. "I would love to."

"How long had you been seeing The Joker?" he wasted no time in asking questions.

"About three months." She replied, thinking to herself that in order for this to be over, she had to cooperate.

"How often?"

"Everyday except for weekends."

"Did you ever tell him anything about your personal life? Anything he could use against you?"

Harleen blinked, hesitating on her answer. "No." she lied again.

"You never told him where you live?"

"No."

"Did he ever mention anything about breaking out while he was here?"

She paused again, biting her lip nervously. "The first time I ever met him, he told me that he was going to get out. I didn't believe him though. I thought he was crazy."

"He _is _crazy." The police officer looked up from his notepad to make eye contact with her and for a moment, the two stared at each other across the desk.

"Don't judge a book by the cover, Officer…" she leaned forward in her seat, squinting at his name tag. "…Carter. I studied The Joker for a while before he came to Arkham and I wouldn't be so sure he's completely insane." Her eyes were bright, matching her placid smile.

"Well then what do you call a guy in a purple suit and clown makeup who kills people for fun?" Officer Carter shot back, an expression of anticipation for her answer on his face but Harleen simply smiled.

"Misunderstood."

The interview was over. Harleen stood up, walking her guest to the door as he did the same. "Dr. Quinzel, I know that you may believe you're safe but The Joker is unpredictable. He's crazy, no matter what you say. If I were you, I would stay at a friend's house for a few nights." He was saying as they paused at the door.

"Officer Carter, I assure you, The Joker has no idea where I live, what kind of car I drive or anything." She lied again and blinked. Lying was getting far too easy for her these days. "There is no way The Joker could get to my apartment. Thank you for what you're doing though." And with that, she shut the door in his face.

All the chaos in the asylum created a lot of hinderances for Harleen during the day, so it was no surprise that the sun had already set when she walked out to her car. The stress from the day was weighing heavily on her mind and she glanced behind her several times as she walked. Noone was there.

In her car, she turned on one of her faveorite songs to try and quell some of the disturbing feelings she was beginning to feel in the pit of her stomach as she drove. _The Joker is not in my house…_she kept telling herself. _He doesn't know where I live. _Every few minutes, Harleen turned around, glancing in her back seat as though expecting The Joker, purple suit and all to be sitting there with that Cheshire cat smirk on his face but noone was there.


	7. Play with your Prey

Author's Note: This is where it gets **M**ature, kids. Virgin eyes beware!

Harleen could hear her tires squealing quietly in the parking garage of her apartment and for some reason, as she put her car in park, her heart was suddenly hammering the inside of her chest. She grabbed her purse, cell phone and keys, looking around the car several times making sure the garage was empty.

Over at the elevators, she punched the button relentlessly, again glancing around her. Her mind was racing as the police officers words came back to haunt her.

"_He is crazy. No matter what you say." _

He had been right. She should have called someone, but who did she have? Harleen didn't have many friends who lived within close range…she didn't really have friends at all. She had colleagues.

The elevator doors slid open and again, Harleen punched the number 6 on the number panel impatiently. The ride up was eerily quiet. All Harleen wanted was to go to bed, no interruptions, no wondering if The Joker was in her house all night…But instead she was now going to search every crevice in her apartment, to make sure he wasn't lurking. For a moment, her hearing went fuzzy as the elevator doors slid open again, revealing the long and empty hallway to her apartment. She took several deep breaths and walked quickly down the hall to door 618, fumbling nervously with her keys as her trembling fingers tried to separate her house key from the rest.

It was hot and somewhat muggy in her house, the air conditioning having been off all day while she was at work. Sliding sideways through the door, she stepped inside and her heart seemed to stop all together. Jester was normally there when she opened the door; he always heard her fumble with the lock. But her big, protective dog was not there.

Harleen could feel herself getting ready to panic. Her stomach had clenched into a knot and she thought for a second that she was going to throw up. The living room light flipped on as she dared herself to walk further into her home, now knowing something was wrong. The living room was bare.

Her bedroom was the next room over but as soon as Harleen entered it, she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up and across the room, her eyes fell onto a long shadow, lounging on her bed and her heart leapt into her throat.

"I told you so…".

"No…" was the only word that came to her lips as The Joker sat up, turning on her night stand lamp but Harleen took off through the house to the kitchen where her purse, cell phone and keys were laying. She could hear him following her and the instant she stopped, he was already to her, grabbing her arms tightly in his purple-gloved hands, twisting them until it hurt her shoulders. She cringed, now panting in fear as The Joker came into the light. He looked even more daunting in full dress as opposed to the orange Arkham scrubs.

Once she had stopped struggling, his eyes traveled to her hands where he noticed her cell phone clutched tightly between her fingers. "Now, Harley, we cant have you doing anything _really _stupid like calling the cops, right?" His eyebrows were raised as he spoke to her, inches from her, his dark eyes boring holes in her green ones. "If I were here to kill you or hurt you, I would have already done it."

Harleen was glaring at him, tears coming to her eyes at the pain in her shoulders he was producing with his two-arm hold. "Where is my dog?".

He squinted, licking his lips as though trying to recall something. "Oh! Don't worry. I took care of 'im." He grinned, arching his eyebrow in a twisted smirk. Harleen struggled as much as she could, her angry tears now cascading down her cheeks. "Ah, ah, ah…sh, sh, shh…Harley Quinn, I'm here for _you_." His manic laughter filled the apartment and in some insane act of bravery, Harleen took the second to bring her knee up hard into his groin.

She fell to the ground as The Joker grunted and doubled over but giggled breathlessly. "I had a feeling you would be this much fun outside of work." He growled.

His voice sounded as though he were all around her, surrounding her in the dark kitchen. But as Harleen swiveled on the spot to find where he was, the back of his hand connected with her cheek, the sound of it echoing like the crack of a whip.

She was suddenly seeing double as she swayed for a moment, The Joker waving at her through the blur, his painted features fading into some obscure smile. Her head was splitting open in pain. Then her body crumpled and she was fast asleep.

Harleen woke, seemingly hours later to the feel of something cold and metal wrapped tightly around her wrists. Her head was fuzzy and her eyes ached. Still she attempted to swat the feeling away, but somehow her arms would not move.

"Oh, good. You're awake. I didn't want you to miss this." Said Joker from somewhere behind her once he had noticed her struggle weakly.

"Did you hit me?" She murmured, closing her eyes groggily as he moved around her, his gloves and jacket now off, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His hand held a serrated hunting knife and as he knelt in front of her, he placed it and his hands on her knees.

" You wouldn't stop freaking out and it was making me itchy. So I _subdued_ you." He replied, tapping the handcuffs binding her wrists to the armchair. "Your buddy Kyle lent me these but I took the liberty of improving your position." He growled, sliding his hands further up her thighs.

Harleen startled even herself as she made a mad grab for The Joker's throat at these words, only to be restrained by the handcuffs. "Kyle didn't do anything to you." She snarled, watching as The Joker inched closer, now separating her legs so he knelt in between them, his hands gripping her thighs.

"You're right. Kyle didn't do anything to me. But he had my things, thanks to you. So you see, its not really my fault at all. It's kinda yours, babe." He stood up, walking around to the back of the chair. "Dr. Quinzel, you know what I think your problem is?" he was tapping his forehead lightly with the flat edge of his knife. "You don't relax enough…"

Harleen jumped with a yelp as the cold metal from the knife slid down the front of her chest, popping off buttons as it went. "You get so caught up in your work that you never get to really unwind, huh lover…"

Her chest was heaving as The Joker leaned down, his breath now on her neck, his hands on her shoulders. "Let me help you…_loosen up._" His voice was deep and quiet, growling in her ear and against herself, Harleen felt goosebumps rise all over her as his hands slid under the material of her blouse, gently pulling it until it was tight on her upper arms, revealing her cleavage. She shut her eyes against the touch of his hands.

The Joker laughed quietly, moving around to the front of her chair. "Who would have guessed…" Harleen opened her eyes, looking down at her captor in between her legs, now tracing patterns on her skirt with the tip of his knife. "…that Dr. Quinzel was such a…_vixen_?" At this, the sound of tearing material reached her ears and suddenly her skirt was slit all the way up her thigh, the knife separating the fabric easily.

"Please don't hurt me." Harleen whimpered, her eyes staring at him now, watching his every movement. "I didn't do anything to you." The Joker sighed, rolling his eyes as he looked up from playing with the hem of her skirt.

"Harley, I told you. If I were going to hurt you or kill you, it would have already been done and I would be merrily on my way, wreaking havoc elsewhere."

"But you always play with your victim before you…" she swallowed, shutting her mouth as The Joker stood from his kneeling position and loomed into her face, admiring her eyes from mere inches.

"Looks like you've been doing your homework." His eyes drifted downward to where her breasts were popping out of her previously tightened blouse and the blunt edge of his knife touched her neck, just below her ear. Harleen did not dare close her eyes. The cold metal was gliding down her neck, her collarbone until it began to trace over the soft curves of her cleavage. Her eyes were fixed on The Joker and it wasn't until then that Harleen realized he had brown eyes.

All those times he had been in her office, she had failed to notice, thinking they were just black, colorless. But now as she stared up at them, simply inches from her own, she lost herself in them. They were a rich, chocolate brown and never before had Harleen seen him look so…_human._

The Joker knelt again, pushing the blade to his switch knife back down and tossing it to the carpet a few feet away. Harleen felt the tiniest bit relieved at this but gasped as he grabbed her legs under the backs of her knees and tugged. 'C'mere." He grunted and she had no choice but to do as he was now forcing her to do.

At this point, Harleen was beyond fighting him. If he killed her…well, at least everyone at Arkham would know that she had been wrong. Granted he did not have his knife anymore, he was still very gifted at killing with his bare hands. Harleen gasped quietly as he parted her legs, tearing her skirt a little further up her thigh to give her room to stretch out. His hands were surprisingly soft as they moved up the inside of her thighs slowly and back down. The Joker's eyes were clouded in something Harleen was unsure of but as they slid up to meet hers, he smiled and she felt something in her shift.

He looked back down at what he was doing. His fingers were tracing patterns on her legs, giving her goosebumps several times, causing her to shiver.

"Does that feel good, angel?" he asked, not taking his eyes away from what he was doing as he touched a finger to her clit through her thin underpants. As much as Harleen wanted to say no, it would have been a lie. So she ignored him, instead shutting her eyes to wait until it was over. All she had to do was let him play his game.

A bright red thong lost contact with Harleen's body and for a moment, she almost felt embarrassed as The Joker held it up, admiring it with a smirk before tossing it to the side.

He growled quietly in his throat, again tugging her legs toward him as she had tried to sit up and hide her most private areas from him. He gazed up at her as he licked the pad of his thumb, moistening it and Harleen struggled slightly although she was not scared anymore. Her legs were now parted and held apart by The Joker's knees as he knelt before her.

"How pretty and pink." He murmured to nobody in particular, sliding his middle finger over her clit and down the length of her soft, wet folds. Harleen shut her eyes, resting her head against the back of the chair as the muscles in her back clenched and relaxed. Her body was in total confusion. Her mind was screaming at her to kick him, stop him, do anything to him but her body and heart were screaming at him to keep going and give her more. She wasn't sure which half she belonged to.

The Joker was admiring his work, the permanent smile on his face expanding slightly as he felt her thighs quivering against his forearm. His thumb was massaging her bud in gentle circles and Harleen was squirming, now doing everything to fight the arousal he was producing in her. What he was doing felt amazing and she knew it was only a matter of time before she lost control.

Somewhere far off, she heard The Joker chuckle to himself. "My, my, Dr. Quinzel. You're awfully wet down here. Are you sure you're not enjoying yourself just a teensy bit?" he grinned up at her, pinching her clit lightly between his thumb and middle finger.

Again, Harleen fought against letting him know what he was really doing to her so she stayed silent, simply looking down at him, watching him. She gasped quietly as his other hand slid under her other thigh, gripping her ass tightly.

The more he touched her, the wetter she got. Harleen felt she was doing a good job of not giving him any sort of encouragement or response even though her body was starting to betray her. Her back arched slightly as he teased her, bringing her closer and closer to the edge.

She shut her eyes, her head swimming violently. The sting that had lingered in her cheek after he had struck her was gone now and the rest of her body ached with raw desire.

But it wasn't until he slid two fingers inside of her that she moaned loudly, tilting her head back as she clenched tightly around his fingers. She had lost. Joker had won. Her fingers and toes curled and suddenly she was panting in pleasure. The Joker's painted red smile curved upwards in his grin as her hips ground against his movement, inviting him further.

"That's more like it. You were starting to make me think you didn't enjoy this sort of thing." He rolled his eyes, indicating his sarcasm. Harleen opened her eyes, now half-lidded in her heated arousal as The Joker continued to glide his fingers in and out of her, massaging her clit. Her breathing was heavy and she was starting to sweat slightly, beads forming under her hair. The Joker had to look away from watching her and focus on something else; he feared that watching Harley have an orgasm would have an affect on his own body. He already felt a little warm and fuzzy.

Harleen had long-since abandoned her attempt at being passive and was now whimpering, writhing in the chair. She moaned loudly, her skin glistening and moist as The Joker rested his cheek against her knee, watching his fingers move in and out of her.

"Do you want to cum, Harley Quinn?" The Joker asked, sweat forming along his own brow. Her noises were cute but passionate and sexy and he found himself unable to think straight as she clenched all around his fingers in a gentle rhythm, her orgasm coming in a powerful wave that caused her whole body to tremble.

The house was quiet, the ticking of a clock muffled by Harleen's breathing as she fought to catch her breath, her body now limp in the chair to which she was still confined. The Joker had since stood up and was now standing beside her with two tiny keys in his hand. The handcuffs gave way and fell to the floor next to the chair with a soft clink and Harleen looked up, surprised as Joker walked to the kitchen.

Blissfully exhausted and weak, Harleen stood up shakily, smoothing her torn skirt and half buttonless blouse, glancing awkwardly in his direction as he washed his hands with his back to her. There really were no proper words to say in her mind so Harleen walked over to her bedroom where he had been laying when she first got home. Her heart stopped as she glanced around, suddenly remembering her missing dog. She ran back out into the kitchen.

"Where is my dog?" she asked frantically, standing a few steps away from Joker as he turned around, drying his hands on a towel. She stared up at him expectantly, growing frustrated as he ignored her and walked away toward the bathroom on the other side of the living room. "Don't ignore me! Answer me!" she shouted. "If you hurt my fucking dog, Joker…" Harleen regretted screaming at him the moment she did it.

He turned to look at her as he stopped at the bathroom door, a frown now wrinkling lines into the makeup on his forehead. "That's awfully ungrateful of you, doll." He practically purred, now close enough to slide his hands around her waist. "Especially after such a wonderful climax." He grinned at her, pulling her closer. Harleen relaxed into his arms, closing her eyes as Joker set his chin on her shoulder. "You really ought to be a little more _appreciative_."

She didn't know how she couldn't see it coming but she gasped none the less as The Joker grabbed a fistful of her hair, yanking it backward, exposing her neck. A knife had materialized in his hand and was now rested as lightly as a feather against the silky skin there. "And if you ever tell me what to do again, I'll cut your throat from ear.." he dragged the blunt side of the knife along her neck. "..to ear." He released her hair slightly so he could see the fear in her eyes. It was exhilarating.

"And you might not want to yell at me again either, while we're on the topic." He said in a suddenly bright tone. "That bothers me too." With that, he let her go and walked back over to the bathroom door to open it. The black and white dog that had been confined to the inside burst out and ran headlong to Harleen who knelt to embrace him with open arms.

The room grew awkward and she eyed Joker nervously as he gazed over all the magazine and newspaper clippings on the dining room table. His swift mood changes were odd but somewhat refreshing in a way. He was unpredictable and there was something so appealing to Harleen in that.

"Thank you for not hurting my dog." She murmured finally, glancing up at him as he walked back over. Her fingers were trembling slightly still from the wonderful orgasm he had given her as she tucked some of her stray blonde curls behind her ear awkwardly, unsure of what to do now. His fingers lifted her chin and for a moment or two, he stared at her eyes with a slight frown etched into his painted features.

"Go get a shower, Harley. You have to go to work tomorrow." He murmured, still studying her face as she did the same to him.

"Are you going to stay here tonight?" she asked, half-hoping he was but half-ashamed that she wanted him to. She tried to make her expression passive and unrevealing of her personal, inner struggle. The Joker nodded, glancing around at her home.

"Yes as long as your hospitality doesnt involve calling the police in the middle of the night." He grinned. "because then I _will _have to hurt you." He moved behind her, placing his hands on her hips, walking her to the bathroom. "…and it will not involve you cumming all over my hand." At the bathroom door, he stopped, turning her around. "Now go get a nice hot shower, babycakes." He smiled and with a whip of his hand slapped Harleen's ass so hard it echoed in the bathroom behind her. There he left her, vanishing back out into the living room to do whatever it was he was doing.


	8. When He Could Get Away With It

After a steaming hot shower, Harleen had to admit she was feeling vastly more relaxed than she had been before The Joker had taken her mental and physical well being into his own hands. She grinned to herself into the foggy bathroom mirror as she combed her long, wet blonde hair. His fingers had stirred up and dusted off old feelings inside her and she was starting to really like it.

Being as busy as she normally was, Harleen never dated much. She never went out or did anything social, so her sex life was near non-existent. Of course, the occasional bachelor would spark her interest, but she usually always found them to be boring and sex-oriented, which she rarely gave out. Who could have predicted that The Joker would be the one to awaken the sex drive within her again?

After combing her hair, Harleen paused in the bathroom doorway, staring at her bed. Where was he going to sleep? With her? The slight grin she had been wearing for the past thirty minutes slid from her face slowly. It was one thing to have The Joker in her house…but sleeping in her bed with her? She supposed it was somewhat out of the question to ask him to sleep on the couch, so she shrugged and moved to get dressed.

At her underwear drawer, Harleen paused, staring down at its contents, her brow furrowed in a frown. _I wonder what kind of underwear one ought to wear when sleeping in bed with a known, escaped murderer?_ She thought fleetingly to herself but kicked herself mentally for even considering him in her underwear choice. Despite the argument, she chose a pair of white cotton pajama pants and a loose green sweater that hung off of her shoulder lazily.

Out in the living room, Mister Joker was lounging indolently along her counch, his long legs crossed at the ankle in front of him. The buttons to his green vest had been undone and his hand rested across his stomach. The tv was on, tuned to the news where the story of his breakout was airing. He looked enraptured. His glassy eyes were glazed over and fixed on the tv where a clip of footage from outside his old cell was playing.

"You seem pleased with yourself." She murmured, sitting on the other end of the couch from him, still watching as she tugged her sweater against her closer. "You really enjoy the publicity don't you?".

He shook his head, flipping off the tv. "No, no, no… No…I enjoy their reactions and how…_pathetic_ their attempts to maintain some sort of order are." He stood up, walking over to the large window of the living room, over looking part of the glowing, nighttime Gotham. Harleen watched him from the couch, guiltily admiring him.

She was surprised he didn't elaborate…Instead, he seemed almost serene, so pensive just then, his eyes narrowed somehow on the whole of the sleeping city like a predator before its prey. The white makeup along his jaw was fading to show the skin underneath; even some of the red along his scars and lips had been wiped away to reveal the raised jagged cuts in his face. But the scars were not what she was looking at. She was starting to believe that The Joker was a handsome man underneath the makeup.

"I know you said 'its your thing' during our sessions together but seriously…do you ever take your makeup off?" she grinned, glancing down at her hands in her lap, feeling a little awkward as he turned around to look at her. "I really want to see you without it." She grinned up at him, crossing her arms daintily across the back of the couch, resting her chin atop them.

"I'm ugly." He blurted. "You're much more beautiful than I am, Harley."

She was now sitting on her ankles, practically perched on the back of the couch. He was starting to open up and she wanted to know everything about him. "Well how am I supposed to know that's true if I've never seen your face?" she asked and he laughed quietly to himself, turning to look at her from those somewhat faded black holes.

"Maybe someday soon, Miss Harley." He walked around the couch to her and held out his hand. "But like anything worth waiting for…" he helped her stand as she placed her hand in his. "…you have to wait for it." He was leading her into her bedroom by the hands, walking backwards so he could grin at her while he spoke. "I guess you could say its kinda the point."

He sat her down on the edge of the bed after turning it down for her and he knelt before her, still holding her hands. "And now its time for bed, my sweet. You have a job to do tomorrow." Before Harleen could reply or ask what he meant, he was already standing up, pressing his lips to her cheek lightly as he moved. "Sleep well, Harlequin."

From her place in bed, Harleen was a bit speechless by the kiss The Joker had just left on her cheek but found her voice as he turned out the light and disappeared into the shadows of her room. "Where are you going?" she asked of the darkness, hoping she didn't sound as frantic as she imagined she did.

"I am going to get completely naked in this bathroom and then take a shower. Then I'm going to get in that bed and go to sleep. If you have any objections, please, Harley, don't hesitate to speak up." She could hear him undoing his shirt buttons and pulling off his tie in the dark corner near the bathroom but she couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not.

"No…That's fine. I just…".

"…-Like to know where I am?" he giggled to himself, flipping on the bathroom light, throwing light onto the bed where Harleen was still sitting, watching him.

"Yeah…Good night." And with that, she gave up trying to be cautious with him in the house. As he had made himself perfectly clear earlier, if he had been trying to hurt her, he would have already and certainly wouldn't have turned down her bed and kissed her on the cheek. It was obvious that he had plans for her and Harleen, honestly, was a little excited.

It was an awkward feeling for Harleen, knowing that an escaped patient, murderer, anarchist was using her bathroom to clean himself just like everyone else in society. She wondered how long it had been since The Joker had been in a normal house, living normally.

The water was running in the bathroom…Harleen's eyes were getting heavy. As much as she wanted to wait until he got out of the bathroom to study him some more, it was growing harder and harder to stay awake. So she flipped over onto her side, grinned into her pillow and drifted to sleep.

The Joker contemplated his reflection for several long moments as he stood there in a towel after his shower. The scars were still there of course, although when not covered in white and red makeup, they appeared just a bit deeper, a touch more jagged and uneven. He touched a finger to the skin there, wondering privately what Harley would think of him were he to show her who he really was. If he showed her what he looked like, it would probably make her feel special and like he had allowed her some huge treat. Although that wouldn't be all that bad…He needed Harley and therefore needed her to commit to him. But in order for her to commit, she had to feel like there was something in it for her…He frowned, combing a bit of his wet green hair from his face with his fingers.

Harley was so predictable…He had known she would put up at least a little bit of a fight but knew she would cave the moment he touched her. He shut his eyes, his shoulders now hunched over the sink as her quiet moans echoed in his mind. They sounded so fresh in his memory and if he thought about it hard enough, goosebumps rose up all over his body. But he shook his head violently, flinging his green hair back into his face, trying anything to dispel the thoughts and urges he felt, taunting him for how human he was. Women are trouble, he always said concerning the other gender but there was something about Harleen that drew him to her. As much as he enjoyed boasting his control over her, Harleen had an equal hold on him and he wasn't liking it.

The bedroom was silent as Joker stepped back out into it, welcoming the quiet and darkness. The curtains didn't quite meet across the massive window, allowing a slice of silvery moonlight to fall across the bed, across Harley's face as she lay on her side and The Joker stood next to the bed, staring, admittedly a little awe-struck. She had never looked so beautiful, he decided, and moved to see how the moonlight accented her features differently according to angle. He knelt, at the edge, his nose inches from hers. Her soft breath was tickling his lips and he grinned, running a finger lightly along her exposed shoulder, watching the way her skin curved underneath his exploring touch. She was so soft and he was positive the rest of her felt the same way.

Blonde hair fell in delicate curls across her pillow as The Joker sat behind her now, examining the way her side rose and fell with her breathing and how proportionate she was. Her legs lay atop the sheets, entangled with each other comfortably as though she had known he would be sitting in the dark admiring everything about her once she fell asleep. From the first day he met her, this was all he wanted. He just wanted to watch her when she wouldn't care if he was or not…when he could get away with it.

She whimpered quietly in her sleep, adjusting her position before sighing deeply. The Joker grinned goofily to himself. There really was no definition for the things he was feeling for this girl, but it gave him the good kind of squirmies and those were fun sometimes.

_It's a crush. _He told himself with a frown, hating the way it sounded even inside his own mind. _It's nothing but a crush and once she gets annoying, she'll be disposed of and then…_ He lost track of what he was saying to himself as Harleen turned over in her sleep, now facing him, tucking her hands up underneath her chin. He grinned again.

Her side curved gently, leading gracefully to her hips and he couldn't help but touch her again, allowing himself to trace a finger along the few inches of bare skin between her sweater and shorts. The skin here was soft too…he knew it would be.

Harleen opened her eyes with a groan the next morning to bright sunlight filling her room…_That's odd…_she thought groggily to herself. _I could've sworn I closed those last night…_But as she rolled over to get a few more winks in, she noticed the other side of her king sized bed turned down as if someone had been sleeping there…Then it all came back to her in one giant wave…the breakout, Kyle's dead, The Joker in her house…sleeping in her bed. She jumped up, blinking dazedly as she ran to the bedroom door and stumbled out into the living room.

For a moment, it felt as though she had walked in on a normal, middle-American home one morning before work, had it not been for Mister Joker's violently purple pants and multicolored socks sticking out from behind the newspaper. The front page read "Joker escapes Arkham!" Jester was sitting at his side with his chin rested on The Joker's knee, calmly watching him read behind the paper.

"You shouldn't look so surprised to see me, Harls." He said, lowering the paper to turn the page, looking up and openly allowing his eyes to wander over her. "I mean…" he grinned. "…I _did_ sleep with you last night. Ya'd think you'd have gotten used to me by now."

Harleen laughed, folding her arms across her chest with a yawn. "Did you sleep well?" she asked, sitting adjacent to him on the couch, patting Jester between the shoulder blades.

"What? Are you suddenly going to start being my doctor again now that we're…_sleeping together?_ " His eyes twinkled with sarcasm as he finally set down the newspaper to turn and look at her.

Harleen looked down at her hands, grinning. "No, I was just wondering. And we are _not_ sleeping together. Don't go around saying that. Its not true." She swatted at his arm playfully but looked away awkwardly as soon as she had done it. Was she flirting with him?

"Its not true _yet…_Dear…" he licked his lips, frowning. "Now, I have a very important…" he wiggled his fingers, searching for a word as he stood up from the couch. "…assignment for you. In all the excitement last night, I was unable to get my last gun from the safe down in the room where they hid all my things from me." He was pacing in front of her in his purple pants and suspenders, tapping his knife absentmindedly against his shoulder as he crossed his arms. "What you have to do, is go down to that quaint little room and retreive my gun."

Harleen stood up immediately, ready to protest. "But your gun is in the safe! I don't know the combination! And what if someone catches me?" she squealed as he walked into the kitchen, disappearing behind the cabinets from the shoulders up. "What if someone finds out I'm stealing it for you?"

"Go get dressed, Harley." He snapped, now searching through the cupboards. "You're wasting time asking stupid questions." He leaned down to the side so he could see her. He smiled widely then returned to searching for whatever it was he needed.

Back in her bedroom, Harleen flung her clothing across the room and scrambled to brush her hair before setting large curlers randomly throughout it. While the rollers set, she brushed her teeth and applied her clothes, often times one-handed. This morning gig had become routine for Harleen over the past few years, working and studying at Arkham. She always wanted to sleep a few extra minutes but scrambled for them later on in the morning process.

But for some reason that morning, Harleen took extra time in applying her clothing and makeup. After choosing one of her tighter black pencil skirts and a red business blouse, she applied both but paused while buttoning her shirt to look up at herself in the long body mirror. Her curves were accented perfectly by the skirt and the black heels she had chosen were just tall enough to show off her legs in the right way. With a grin and a wink at herself, she left an extra button undone, deciding that she wanted to show a little more skin than normal that day at work.

Shadowy grey, black and silver makeup complimented her green eyes, giving them the effect of being twice as bright as they normally were. After a perfect coat of red lipstick, she was ready to leave for work, and for once, admitted to herself that she looked pretty damn good.

In the doorway to the living room, she stopped, smoothing out her skirt a few times having noticed some minor wrinkles in the morning sunlight. As she looked up, The Joker dropped whatever it was he was tinkering with and it crashed to the floor with a clanking noise. Harleen grinned to herself as he ducked behind the counter and reappeared seconds later, holding a gun clip in his hand and looking, if possible…a little embarrassed?

As Harleen sauntered over to the kitchen, she could practically feel him eyeing her almost until the moment she walked past him. She glanced at what he was doing as she opened the refridgerator for a glass of orange juice. Spread out on a paper towel before him was a disassembled handgun which he happened to have resumed cleaning.

"I thought you said your gun was at Arkham." She said, now brave enough to stand right next to him and watch as he concentrated on scraping dirt from behind the hammer.

"It is. I got this one on loan from Kyle." He snickered quietly, still focused on the firearm.

Harleen frowned, placing a hand on her cocked hip. "And what if I refuse to steal from Arkham for you?" she asked, her eyes wide with question and The Joker shook his head.

He sighed. "Harley, Harley…you arent _stealing _ from Arkham. You're simply giving me back what is rightfully mine." He explained, now running a slip of paper towel along the chamber of the gun, shining the metal.

"So what if decide not to?".

He stopped abruptly and set the shell of the gun down to look at her. "Let me explain this to you…If you come back tonight without my gun then that means…" he placed his hands on her shoulders. "…that _I _ will have to go back to Arkham and get my _own_ gun. And if I have to go back to Arkham, everyone there will die. But wont you feel good knowing you didn't have to steal from your _job?_" He flashed a half-grin before turning back to the gun.

"And if they ask me to search my bags?" She pressed on, watching him as he squinted down the barrel. "Where am I supposed to hide it?"

"Gee, Harley. I don't know. How about in your snatch?" His response was quick and dripping with sarcasm, signaling that his patience was coming to an end.

She rolled her eyes. "Very funny. But what if-". It happened so quickly, Harleen barely had time to see it coming and her breath hitched in her throat as The Joker placed his hands on either side of her face and kissed her. Her first reaction was to pull away but she found herself rooted to the spot, unable to move, even though he was not forcing her to stay. His lips felt scarred but soft against hers and Harleen moved closer to him, leaning into the kiss.

Butterflies swooped and swirled in her stomach as his tongue traced the contour of her upper lip and without hesitation, she invited him further. Their tongues touched and flirted lightly as one of his hands slid down her neck and under her hair, pulling her just a little bit closer. The sound of it surprised her as Harleen moaned quietly against his lips but suddenly he was pulling away, opening his eyes to gaze at her intently as though studying her reaction.

Obviously, Harleen's response of a blank, open-mouthed, stunned stare satisfied him and he grunted a laugh as he stuffed the gun into an inside pocket of his big purple coat and moved toward the front door.

"Have a lovely day at work, dear." He said, opening the front door to disappear beyond it. The clicking sound of the closing door seemingly brought Harleen back to the right state of mind where she found her tongue.

"Wait!" she cried, darting as fast as she could in heels across the room to fling the door back open and look down both ends of the long hallway. With a sigh, she closed it again. He was already gone.


	9. Keys Open Doors

Harleen had never been so aware of herself in her entire life that morning as she arrived at Arkham. She noticed everything including the two new armed policemen outside the front doors. Her eyes narrowed on one of them as she drove by, her stomach tightening up uncomfortably. Luckily, Harleen knew every entrance and exit to the asylum so she parked at the back and took a side door, not wanting to draw attention to herself with the police. It didn't help her nerves any to know that everyone's attention would be on her that day, considering she somehow hadnt been found and killed by The Joker overnight.

All the back hallways that led to her floor were fortunately empty so once in her office, Harleen shut the door, leaning against it with a heavy sigh. She had just gotten there and already she was nervous. But as she stood there, she happened to notice a long-stemmed red rose, thorns and all, laying across the keyboard of her computer. There was a note attached that read "Keys Open Doors" written vertically. She knew immediately who it was from by the messy handwriting and she smiled, burying the tip of her nose in the roses' scent.

But something was not right with her keyboard. Several of the small, white letters on the square black keys had been colored in with red marker. Harleen grabbed the note again, reading it for a second time even though it only contained three words. "Keys Open Doors."

Suddenly she understood and grabbed her pad of paper to start writing letters and numbers down. The top line of keys were the numbers and the way Joker had written the words one on top of the other, told her to write them down from top to bottom, left to right.

"124690…" Harleen repeated quietly to herself. " eryuioanm?" Even the question mark had been colored in. She frowned. Well, that didn't make any sense. She had been so sure that she understood what he had meant to do, and now she found herself at a dead end, feeling as though she was failing him. She read the note a few times more and took to staring at the numbers and letters she had written down but when her musings yeilded no results, she groaned, fisting her hands into her hair angrily. The piece of paper would just have to wait until later on when she was going to go downstairs to the holding room for the gun.

Patients came and went that day, occasionally asking about The Joker and if she knew where he was. To all of these questions, she answered "By law, I am not allowed to disclose any information on The Joker or any of his possible hideaways." Of course, this was a lie but it kept them from asking more questions; less questions, less chance of Harleen going to jail.

Sometime around lunch, a soft knock on Harleen's door broke the silence that had settled while she sat and pondered Joker's note on her desk. "Come in!" she called, stowing the rose in a drawer for the time being. Dr. Chapman stepped inside, looking like he had aged ten years from the day before. He sat down on the other side of her desk.

"So I see he couldn't find you." He said, eyeing her as though he couldn't believe she was there. "I thought for sure.."

"Well, I told you and everyone else yesterday that he didn't know where I was. I cant see why everyone thought he was going to come after me." She did not take her eyes from him. It surprised her how easy lying had become over such a short period of time.

The doctor across from her sat up in his seat. "It was because he said things to the other nurses and the guards like "Harley and I will be together forever. You'll see." That's what he told everyone…"You'll see.".

Harleen did her best not to smile but couldn't keep herself from cracking the slightest of grins. She spoke quickly, hoping he didn't notice. "Dr. Chapman, I assure you. The man has no emotional attachments to anything. He does not care for me." She wasn't sure if she was lying this time…

Dr. Chapman frowned, removing his glasses as he stood up to look over at her with a mingled expression of worry and slight misgiving. "Alright Harleen. Please don't hesitate if you ever need anything." . She held up a hand, giving a small wave.

"Thanks Dr. Chapman." And with that, he was gone and Harleen was back to studying Joker's clue.

Late in the afternoon, Harleen sat back down at her desk with a heavy sigh after dealing with one of her more frustrating patients. Her head was starting to pound and her stomach was still in knots about the gun situation. It was all she could think about. But luckily enough, that morning she remembered to bring her black trench coat along with her, in case she needed to put the gun in her skirt waist band or under her shirt. Her purse was too small and she was guessing her briefcase was going to be too narrow.

All these same thoughts were swirling in her head as she sat there but from the corner of her eye, she caught sight of the letters and question mark she had written down. In some random stroke of genious, Harleen grabbed her pen and started unscrambling the letters. "A…maybe N?…no…R.." This sort of thinking went on for several minutes before the words formed themselves and Harleen was staring at the paper. "Are you mine?" Read the words. And with that, she snatched up the piece of paper, her purse and applied her black trenchcoat. It was time to visit the storage room.

Fortunately, it was nearing five o' clock so the building had already emptied it self of other psychologists and doctors. There was nobody in the hall or on the stairs, but the lobby was littered here and there by a nurse or random patient and even a few police officers. _Stupid cops…_Harleen thought bitterly to herself as she walked gracefully through the lobby, her hands tucked into the pockets of her knee length coat.

The hallway she was headed for looked clear of people although the security office happened to be next door to her destination. The guard in the office noticed her approaching and waved with a smile.

"Hey there, Dr. Quinzel. You're here kinda late." He said, turning in his seat.

"I know but I was so busy with all these police reports on The Joker and talking to detectives that I havent really had time to do real work." _Flawless.._ "That's why I'm down here." She nodded at the storage room door. "Could you let me in?"

"Of course!" he replied, standing up from his seat while pulling a large ring of keys from his belt. "Ok, Doc. Have a nice night." The fat, squat man returned to watch the security cameras and Harleen was inside the dark room, locking the door behind her.

It was pitch black in the cluttered, muggy room in which she had already been once and she stumbled over something laying on the ground. She knew vaguely where the safe was but flipped on the light anyway, grateful that the door was solid wood with no window.

Once kneeling in front of the safe, Harleen consulted Joker's numbers, hoping that these were the numbers to the combination. On the door of the safe, there was no dial needing to be turned but instead a keypad of numbers. She punched in the digits carefully, not wanting to spend any more time than necessary in the room and luckily, the keypad made a soft beeping noise, alerting Harleen that she was now able to open the door.

Inside lay a small semi-automatic handgun and the silver chain and pocket watch Harleen immediately recognized. As intruiged as she was, she grabbed both items but hesitated as she stood up to store them. The pocket watch was small and therefore fit into a pocket very easily. The gun however was surprisingly heavy so when Harleen placed it into another pocket, the outline was perfectly visible through the material. She cursed mentally. This wasn't going to work and she knew it.

In a fit of frustration and the need to be leaving, Harleen stuffed the gun down her shirt, hoping the tight strap of her bra between her breasts would hold it against her skin so it wouldn't fall. And if it did, her shirt was tucked into her skirt so it wouldn't be going anywhere.

Five miles away, tucked back into the shadows between a gas station and The Lucky Number 7 bar, stood The Joker, frowning down at a cell phone. It was nearing six o'clock, the sun was setting, and Harleen had not yet returned to her apartment. He sighed, returning the phone to his pocket. If she had gotten caught, that was her own fault. Of course, that would be a huge inconvenience to him, because Harley was going to be his newest ace in the hole as well as a new toy. There just needed to be a tipping point in her progression as his newest side-kick and although Joker did enjoy planning things out his way, in this situation, he was going to allow Harley to fall on her own…Granted of course, she hadnt gotten caught.

The Joker squinted at the tall building Harleen lived in. Well, if she was on her way, he would just beat her there and surprise her. _It will probably be a lot funnier this way anyways. _ He thought with a giggle as he stepped out from the alley to stalk openly through the desolate parking lot and disappear into the empty lot just outside Harleen's building. He bounced along as he strolled, humming a tune. He couldn't wait to see her…and his gun.

Harleen's heart began to race in the elevator, just as it had the night before. She took a deep breath but grinned as she realized her quickened pulse had nothing to do with fear; she was actually excited to see him. The kiss…his lips…they had been on her mind all day. She wondered breifly if he would slap her if _she _tried to kiss _him?_ She bit down on her bottom lip to surpress a grin as she pondered the look on The Joker's face if he saw her in her underwear. She could remember vividly the times she had caught him eyeing her while he was still at Arkham and everytime this happened, it encouraged her, reminding her that he was still human. Not only was he human, but he was a man. And well…boys will be boys.

Inside her apartment, the lights were off, everything was silent. Harleen stepped over the threshold and immediately knew he was there; a dark vibe in the air told her he was. "Joker?" she called once the door had shut behind her. No answer. She ventured into the living room, and it felt as though she had stepped into the day before when she had gotten home from work. "Joker?" she called again, peering around in the darkness for a swish of a purple coat, a sound, anything.

Joker stood behind Harleen, doing everything in his power not to burst out laughing and ruin it. "Joker?" Her voice rose again and this time he bit down on his lip. This was always fun and old school to him, scaring a woman half to death. Fear was so…_amusing _sometimes. She began to walk around through the house, never once glancing behind her. This was a flaw. He would have to tell her later. Finally, when he could take no more torturing himself, he grabbed her shoulders and spun her around. Her reaction did not disappoint…

A piercing scream ripped the air and in some wave of madness and self-preservation, Harleen pulled her fist back and released, punching Joker across the face. "Oh my God!" she squealed as he backed up a step and licked a drop of blood from the corner of his mouth. The room fell silent and Harleen began to figure she should just go ahead and sign her death wish…until he burst into his manic laughter and flung his arm around her shoulders, walking her to the couch.

"You're learnin, kiddo." He grunted, but as Harleen made to sit down, he wiggled a finger at her. "Ah, ah ah…Lets handle business before we sit and chat. Where's my gun?".

Harleen straightened up and shook her hair back from her shoulders. She watched Joker's eyes follow her hands to the buttons of her red blouse where she unbuttoned the first two, to reveal the shiny barrel of the gun nestled perfectly against her chest. She grinned as she handed it to him.

"Oooh…" he cooed, with a smile she had never seen before. "Still warm." He looked down at his gun happily and walked away, leaving Harleen standing there looking offended.

"Don't you wanna know what happened?" she asked somewhat loudly, hoping he did so she could tell _someone_ what she did. It seemed like too big of a feat to go unmentioned. Joker turned, sliding the purple jacket off of his shoulders before he sat down on the couch and patted his knee.

"Of course, I do. Come sit on Daddy's lap and tell 'im everything." He was grinning a little too widely for Harleen's taste but she settled onto his lap nonetheless, sliding her arm around his shoulders while he did the same around her hips.

As Harleen recounted her story with flourish, Joker watched her, the tiniest of smiles tugging at his lips. She was too cute. Sometimes he just wanted to shake her and tell her to stop it.

"…Then the security guard spotted me…" She paused for effect and Joker's eyes widened in mock suspense.

"And then?…Don't leave me hangin'!".

"Then I asked him to unlock the door and he did!" she bounced on his lap, not even bothering to hide her excitement. "It was so easy. Thanks to you." Then something occurred to her and she frowned. "If you already knew the code, then why did I have to get it?"

"I needed to know how far you would go..." He replied, refraining from adding a "for me" at the end. His hand rubbed the small of her back. "I'm proud of you, Harley." He smiled genuinely and Harleen felt a whole horde of butterflies begin to swoop and dive in her stomach.

"R-really?" She asked incredulously. He was proud of her? Why, she was positively beaming.

"Yeah, of course. It took guts and blah, blah, blah. The point is, I'm glad to have my gun back and you brought it to me." He honestly would've been glad to see the Batman, had he been bringing him the gun, but she didn't need to know that. He smiled. "Now how about you unwind in a hot bath, ya little criminal, you." He patted her rear end and she stood, watching him for a moment as he walked to her dining room table and sat down.

Jester was laying on the floor across from the table but looked up and trotted over as Joker patted his knee. His eyes were scanning the table covered in her evaluations so she left Jester, wagging his tail, sitting next to Joker and disappeared into her bedroom to take a bath.

Joker sighed, shutting his eyes as he heard the water running in the other room. She was naked in there and a huge part of him wanted to kick the door in just to get a peek. He laughed to Jester as he imagined the look on Harley's face. "Does she look good naked, chump?" he asked of the dog who simply licked his hand in return, his tail thumping against the carpet. "Yeah, I bet.".

Almost fourty-five minutes later, Harleen stood up in the bathtub and watched as all the bubbles slowly slid down her to the water. It kind of tickled so she laughed to herself. The bathroom was full of steam and the tile floor was slippery as she stepped out of the tub and wiped the condensation from the mirror to reveal her face. With a smile, she shrugged and opened the door to her bedroom only to jump. Joker stood there with a raised fist as though he had just been about to knock. Slowly, he lowered it.

"I was just coming to see if you had drowned yet." He said, grinning as Harleen pushed past him into the bedroom.

As she turned to face him, she tucked the towel closer to her. "Don't sound so optimistic." She replied, now frowning with a hand on her hip. He laughed, sitting down on the bed.

"Oh I wasn't being optimistic, doll. I would have been disappointed had I missed all the fun!" he snickered as she gasped and turned around from her drawers. "Oh c'mon…I'm just kidding. Lighten up, will ya?". He lay down, crossing his ankles.

Harleen remained quiet, but turned, staring at him, her hand again, rested on her hip. "What?" he asked and she snorted.

"Well, I have to get dressed. Excuse me." She replied but The Joker waved his hand.

"You're excused. Go right ahead. I wont look." He said although the grin on his face plainly said otherwise. With a roll of her eyes, Harleen stomped to the bathroom and shut the door behind her, leaving The Joker looking somewhat disappointed.


	10. Falling From Grace

Author's Note: More **M**ature stuff here, guys. Reader discretion is advised.

After dressing in shorts and a tanktop, Harleen reentered the bedroom minutes later, looking ready for bed. Joker was still laying there, still grinning, still watching her. An undisturbed yawn split her face as she walked around the bed to her side to lay down.

"Now, don't you feel better?" Joker asked, holding out his arm until she scooted close enough to rest her head on his shoulder as he sat propped up against a pillow. She nodded, closing her eyes. If she admitted it fairly, she was a little surprised how comfortable she was laying next to him, even with his arm around her shoulders.

"You know, if someone would have told me three months ago that I would be laying in bed with you, I think I would have called them nuts." She murmured against the green material of his waist coat. He grunted with his eyes closed.

"Why is that, precious?" His voice was deep and heavy sounding.

"Well, because back then, I thought you were crazy, like everyone else. I thought you were just some nut in makeup and a costume, killing people for fun." She paused, looking up at him and he opened one eye. "But I was wrong." She hastened to add, again resting her cheek against his chest.

"…It is fun though." He threw in and both laughed for a moment before he stood up and stretched his long arms. "I think it might be bedtime for you, Harleykins." He flipped off the light but Harleen felt movement on the bed and his painted face came into the same sliver of moonlight he had been admiring her from the night before. "Goodnight." He pecked her on the lips and was gone again, into the bathroom. But tonight, Harleen was not ready for bed, whether he wanted her to be or not. Just as it had that morning, his kiss, however brief, left her lightheaded so she lay down in the middle of the bed, stretching out on her stomach. She sighed, smiling to herself in the darkness.

Harleen groaned, her eyes sliding open as something cold and metal ran up the curve of her back slowly. It was still dark outside; she wondered how long she had been asleep. Goosebumps were threatening to overtake her as his knife slid down her spine again. "Joker.." she murmured, shutting her eyes. Her back arched under the touch of the blade. She had to admit, she was a little frightened and yet already a little aroused.

"Ya know, you never answered my question." His voice was in her ear and she openly shivered as his lips brushed against the lobe. His body loomed over her as she lay on her stomach, his hands holding himself up on either side of her. Harleen did not open her eyes.

"What was your question?" she asked plainly but his hands grabbed her wrists tightly and she was suddenly petrified. Her insides began to tremble.

"Look at me." He barked, flipping her over onto her back and Harleen could do nothing to stifle the gasp of shock that escaped her. There he was; The Joker…and yet it wasn't. His face was bare of makeup and Harleen sat up slowly, her eyes raking across his face. Joker could not break eye contact with her but felt one of her small, soft hands touch his scarred cheek. She moaned softly, scooting closer to him until she was practically straddling his lap, her fingers tracing his scars lightly, shivers occasionally running up and down her spine. They were so deep, so jagged and violent as they tore their way down his face to his mouth. The small forked scar on his bottom lip was much more visible without the red makeup covering it; she touched her forefinger to it, biting down on her own bottom lip.

As surprised as she was that The Joker had let her see him like this, she was even more shocked that he was letting her touch him. Whats more, he seemed to be enjoying it. Had it been forever since a woman touched his face? His eyes were closed as her hands held his face and he seemed to melt into her carress.

"You're the most handsomest man I've ever seen." She whispered, grinning as he opened his eyes and for a moment she wasn't sure whether he was about to hit her or kiss her. But he did neither, and instead stared up at her as she twirled a strand of his wet green hair around her finger. They sat there for several long moments, studying each other before Harleen dared herself to lean forward and press her lips to the scar along his right cheek. She heard him exhale as though he had been holding his breath and she rested her hands lightly on his bare chest. He gripped her hips tightly, pulling her further into his lap.

The kisses she had been trailing down his cheek, along his scar grew more passionate the closer she got to his lips. She could feel butterflies zooming around her insides again and as she and Joker's lips met, the kiss immediately deepened. Their tongues flirted and swept over one another, hungrily and yet gently. Harleen moaned against his lips as his hands slid up her back, under her tank top, until his fingers curled around her shoulders. Harleen moaned softly as he pulled her down, at the same time grinding his hips up against hers.

This was all happening very fast to both. Neither had expected this sort of thing to happen. The Joker had only showed her his face out of some random whim of curiosity and the fact that she reacted so positively was encouraging. Whether or not he was having mushy gushy time with Harley for a day or two did not change his plans…for both himself _and _ Harley Quinn.

At the moment though, The Clown Prince of Crime was experiencing the sort of sensations that all men do and the serial killer in him that had been lurking around earlier took a backseat to basic human instincs. He moved one of his hands from under her tanktop and suddenly realized he was still holding a knife. He grunted a laugh and it whizzed across the room, followed by a dull thud.

Things were moving very fast. Harleen whimpered, still straddling his lap as he kissed her neck, biting here and there, just hard enough to hurt. Her eyes were shut and her hands trembled slightly as she gripped his arms. What he was doing felt so good, but if they kept this up, there was definitely no going back.

"Do you think we should stop?" she dared ask and he pulled back from her neck, only to place tiny, light kisses along her collarbone. His hand slipped into her shorts where his fingers brushed against her.

"Do _you _think we should?" He slid two fingers inside her and relished in the moan that followed.

"No." She breathed, tilting her head back as he bit her shoulder gently.

"I didn't think so." And with that, he locked her beneath him before sitting up to run a hand through his green hair. Harleen groaned, her eyes snaking up and down his body, admiring his scars and muscles in the moonlight. She placed her hands on his stomach and dragged them down, lightly raking her nails against his skin. She noticed his boxers and grinned.

"You and this thing for purple, Mister Joker.." Her voice was husky and sultry with her arousal and her grin widened as he leaned over her, pressing his lips to the area of skin just below her ear.

"If you're so opposed to them…" he ground his hips against hers. "..then take them off."

Harleen giggled, slipping a finger into the waistband. "Only if you take mine off first." She whispered in his ear and the laugh that followed was probably the sexiest thing Harleen had ever heard in her life. It was not a laugh she had ever heard from him before but it gave her goosebumps and she arched her back to his touch as he sat up and trailed a finger down the middle of her stomach to her shorts.

"So you like playing games." He said as her shorts slid down her legs. "I like that about you, Harley." Harleen was just about to reply when his fingers made contact with her clit and all was lost. She moaned, her toes curling as she squirmed a little. "Oh, the familiar places…"

Harleen looked down at him and grinned, motioning with her finger for him to come back up toward her face. He obliged but growled deep in his throat with a smirk as Harleen hooked her fingers into his purple, satin boxers and tugged them off. "And you uphold a bargain…" he said in her ear as one of his hands fisted into her hair and he pulled just hard enough to hurt. "…I like that too."

Harleen's mind was racing. She could feel the warmth of The Joker between her legs and although she tried to argue herself out of this, she couldn't…She wanted him too badly…wanted to be _with_ him too badly. She moaned, arching her back as he rocked forward, sliding inside her, filling her completely.

He shuddered at the feeling. He couldn't help it. She was so tight and warm, it was almost impossible to stay passive. His hips began to move, slowly at first but quickly gained power. He held himself over her with his arms, his green hair dangling in his face as he watched her expressions. From pain to sheer pleasure, she gave it all and he was loving every second of it. At one point, she bit down on her bottom lip and removed her forgotten tanktop. Joker closed his eyes and bucked his hips against hers several times. You can't give a guy toys when he's doing such a good job already…easily distracted…

Their breathing was growing heavy, the sounds of it mingled together creating a music all of its own. Joker rested his elbows on either side of her shoulders, his hands in her hair as he continued to thrust his hips against hers. "Ya know, Harley?" His voice was deep and husky and his fingers curled gently around her neck. "If someone would have told me three months ago that we would be here, doing this, I would not have been surprised." He took a deep breath, groaning quietly in her ear. "You see…you and me are meant to be together."

Harleen moaned again, this time digging her nails into the small of his back, causing him to growl and thrust harder. Her body was heaving as her orgasm approached and she whimpered "J-Jo-.." She was writhing underneath him as he sat up again to watch her.

"What was that?" he asked, gripping her hips tightly and as she cried out his name, she came…hard. "That's what I thought you were trying to say." He grunted. Her walls clenched rhythmically around him and instantly she was hotter and wetter than before, easing his movement. He shut his eyes, and again lowered himself until both of his hands fit behind Harley's head, propping her up so she would look at him. Her green eyes were glassy and shone brilliantly as he stared at them. He broke the gaze only to shut his eyes and groan loudly against her neck. His fingers tightened their grip on her hair and Harleen moaned just perfectly enough to push him until he came as well.

His groan in Harleen's ear was deep and erotic and she raked her fingers up into his hair as he pushed himself up to lean over and kiss her with a soft, satisfied sigh escaping his lips. She decided then that she had never felt anything so good in her entire life.


	11. Laughing at Last

Author's Note: Just wanted to thank everyone for the reviews and comments and especially for reading the story. I'm really excited about where it's going! And a huge thank you to SugarDemon1035 for Beta reading for me. **YOU ROCK!! **

--

Harleen woke face down, sprawled out in the middle of her bed, completely naked. She groaned, squinting at the sunlight filtering through the half-closed curtains. From the look of the light, it was still early in the morning. Beside her, some unfamiliar growling noise met her ears. Harleen figured Jester must have gotten in the room last night after all the fun had died down and was now in her bed, but when she opened her eyes, The Joker's face was inches from hers and he was snoring.

It was very hard, from the start, not to giggle. It was one thing to have actually slept with him now but at the same time, he looked so cute, sleeping. His green hair stuck out more vibrantly than usual against the white fluffy sheets and blankets of her bed. Harleen noticed a long, thin scar that ran down the length of his back, from between his shoulder blades, to the waist band of his boxers. She touched her finger to it, wondering where on earth he acquired such a scar.

The moment her finger had touched his skin, his eyes opened slowly to reveal the most brilliant brown she had seen yet. He blinked and suddenly looked wide awake. "Good morning." He groaned in a deep morning voice, burying his face further into the blankets and his arms.

"Good morning." She replied. "How did you sleep?"

Joker rolled over onto his side and yawned. Harleen stared at his scars in the sunlight as he did this, hoping he wouldn't notice. "Better than I have in a long time." He replied honestly and she grinned, sitting up.

"Well, what's the plan for the day?" she asked, peering up at him as he stood from the bed, cracking his neck and back. In the sunlight, Harleen got a better view of him and as a whole; he looked young… not even thirty yet. The scars on his body gave him the appearance of being much older although he really only looked about twenty-seven or so, standing there.

He smiled and suddenly The Joker was back. "Well, this morning, I was _supposed_ to go take care of some business with my mobster buddies, but I'm afraid I may be a little on the tardy side." He arched an eyebrow at Harleen. "I wasn't aware I would be sleeping this late."

"It's only eight o'clock, though." Harleen stood up, taking the sheet along with her as she walked over to the bathroom. For some reason, she didn't want him to see her naked in the sunlight. It was too embarrassing… even though he had seen all of her and more the previous night.

"I know what time it is." He answered, now stepping into his purple pants and braces. "And once I'm ready, I'm going to need your car, missy." Harleen reappeared from the bathroom, looking confused.

"Why?" Her brow furrowed as Joker walked over, tucking his shirt tails in. His hands rested on her shoulders.

"Your curiosity is refreshing, really it is." His eyes grew wide and he nodded. "But stop asking questions." And with that, he stepped inside the bathroom, pulling three small compacts from his pocket. "Now, if you'll excuse me. I have to make myself pretty." With a flash of his widest and craziest smile, he shut the door in her face.

On her way out of the room after dressing, her eyes fell upon Joker's knife embedded about an inch into the dark wall paper and she grinned, leaving it. Jester jumped up from his place on the couch as she entered the living room, bouncing along with to the kitchen where she poured two glasses of orange juice. She left one on the counter for Joker and took hers into the bedroom with her to lie down and watch the morning news.

After what seemed like an hour, The Joker emerged from the bathroom, his makeup perfect. He held out his arms, presenting himself to Harleen, still lounging on the bed, wrapped in the sheet.

"Do I look fuckin' handsome or what?" he asked, now applying the purple coat.

Harleen grinned as he walked over. "You're a real knockout." Joker laughed before swinging one of his legs over her, straddling her as she sat propped up. His long, purple coat covered her legs.

"That's right." He growled, catching her lips roughly in a kiss. "Now, give me your keys. I have an errand or two to run." His eyes rested on her lips in a glare as though daring them to say something he didn't like.

"What's the magic word?" Harleen answered like a smart-ass and she gasped as Joker's hand flew to her throat but she wasn't scared. Having obviously noted the lack of fear in her bright green eyes, The Joker tightened his grip until they grew wide and his favorite look was back.

"Now." He answered, grinning madly until she reached over and took her keys out of the nightstand drawer.

"Here, fine." She croaked, rubbing her throat as he stood up. "When will you be back?"

"At 10:43 exactly. Come downstairs and get in on the backside of the building." He nodded decisively and headed toward the door but paused mid-step, turning back to her. "… You _are_ coming with me right? I certainly hope so, seeing as to how you don't technically have a choice."

The pause that followed his words filled the room with a dry, awkward silence while Harleen wracked her brains. "Yeah, I'll go… willingly." She replied half-heartedly, hoping he wouldn't notice her inner struggle, but the cocked eye-brow that accompanied his expression plainly said he understood more than he was letting on.

"Alright, Harley." And with that, he was gone again and Harleen sighed, running her hand through her hair. _Fuck…_ She thought to herself and jumped up to get in the shower.

Inside the bathroom, minutes later, the water was running, steaming up the bathroom, but Harleen sat naked on the counter, staring blankly at the dark red shower curtain. Her fingertips hurt from biting her nails but she didn't care. Her current mental battle was more intense than any small pain she felt at the moment. The inside of her chest felt as though someone were trying to break out of it even though she was just sitting there. But with a deep breath, she decided to get up and step into the shower.

The water was hot, but there was no need to turn it down. Harleen liked the way it made her skin tingle so she welcomed it, closing her eyes with a sigh. Going with The Joker was exactly what she wanted to do. She wanted to be with him and see things from his point of view. She envied his sense of freedom and yet power as he so obviously held an entire city in the palm of his hand.

Her job was so important, though. She laughed out loud at that thought as it passed through her mind. All her job did for her was stress her out. It was just a reliable source of money to be able to _just _afford a nice apartment and a car. She actually growled out loud as the water continued to soak her. It wasn't hot enough; the tingling sensation had died away. So she reached down and turned the knob slightly to heat the water more.

And her _parents…_ All that work, all that school and money to make her into a mindless workaholic and to not even be there to watch her succeed? Flashes of memories flew up in her mind as she stood under the water, her long, blonde hair matted against her face; her first high school dance, prom… even her graduation. All the empty chairs they had left in the midst of all the other parents… She wanted to burn all the chairs… all her trophies and plaques…

The water still was not hot enough. Her skin was turning pink but the tingling and burning sensation it caused all through her body was intoxicating. _It's very funny… _Harleen thought to herself as she turned the knob farther to the left. …_That I should realize all this about myself around the same time I met him._ Her thoughts left her breathless and numb, so she started laughing… giggling at first until the noise of it erupted from her lungs and suddenly, she was howling with laughter. Her skin was burning but the pain disappeared when she laughed.

Her hands clutched her sides as she collapsed in the tub, reaching up to twist the knob to its full point left. A strange screaming noise filled her ears and then, Harley Quinn knew no more…

…Until an hour later and twenty minutes later when two purple-gloved hands were yanking her up from the tub by her hair and arm. Her body felt strangely cold as she was dragged forcefully into her bedroom but only when she was thrown onto the bed did Harleen realize she was naked. A dazed gasp escaped her at realizing this but as The Joker grabbed a fistful of her hair and yanked, she laughed quietly.

"Harley, I'm a fairly patient guy…" he began, his cold eyes inches from hers. _Yeah right… _Harleen thought to herself fleetingly. "But you must understand why I'm a _little _peeved." His fingers tightened their grip on her hair.

"I'm sorry, babe. I really am. I meant to be down there but I-…' she paused, frowning slightly. What_ did_ happen?

"You passed out in the shower, idiot, and had me waiting down there for ten minutes. So next time you decide to try and drown yourself, do it on your own time." He released her hair with a shove before standing up. "And you might want to try plugging the drain."

His eyes wandered over her shoulders and back as she stood up naked from the bed, noting how red and irritated her skin looked. And that's when it dawned on him. "Harley, what the hell happened in the shower?" he asked, stepping forward to run his hands lightly along her inflamed skin. It felt hot to his touch but it didn't seem to hurt her as she turned around with a shrug.

"I guess you could say I finally saw the funny side." Her lips were wide in one of the sexiest grins The Joker had ever seen and her green eyes were alight with some new malice he was not familiar with yet… Of course, she would take some testing out but for the mean time, he grinned back, resting his hands on either side of her neck.

"Let's go for a ride. I have a surprise for you."


	12. Target Practice

Author's Note: I did not enjoy this chapter as much as the others, but it's important to the story. Thanks so much for all the reading and reviewing!!

Harley smiled to herself as she stepped outside along the back side of her apartment building where Joker had parked her car. It was cool and breezy outside, the sun brighter than normal. The sky was virtually cloudless, stretching out overhead like a huge blue blanket. Being that her arms and back still stung vaguely, she kept the material to a minimum and had opted to go with a black midriff tank top and jeans. She had to admit, she looked cute but seemed incredibly plain compared to The Joker in his all-purple suit.

He was climbing into the driver's seat, glancing around with a furrowed brow. "Can you drive?" Harley asked testily, eyeing him as he started the car.

"Nope." He replied and suddenly Harley was thrown forward in the passenger seat as Joker floored the car in reverse, speeding backwards along the length of the building toward a brick wall. Harley squealed, now facing the opposite way, watching the very solid wall growing closer and closer. The car had reached almost forty-five miles an hour when he jerked the wheel, shifted into drive and suddenly they were speeding out of the parking lot, normally. A cloud of burnt rubber trailed behind them from her tires as he giggled, obviously pleased with himself, and glanced at her out of the corner of his eye.

The car ride was rather quiet at first and Harley was honestly a little impressed with his driving. He went the speed limit, used signals, stopped at all the stop lights… She frowned as she noticed how deep into the city they were moving. It wasn't often she went into the city of Gotham, mostly because it was always so busy and even a little dangerous. Harley looked up at him.

"If you don't mind my asking…" she began, but he cut across her.

"What if I do?" he looked over at her and raised his eyebrows as she rolled her eyes, deciding she would just have to wait and see.

The buildings seemed to move closer together, blocking out the light, the further the Joker took Harley into the city. The sun seemed unable to reach the pavement as they drove down desolate street after street, searching for some unknown destination. As she watched street signs pass her window, Harley gave up trying to guess in her mind where he was taking her but the moment she stopped thinking about it, the car pulled off the main street into a back alley.

The walls here were very close and it almost seemed as though the small black car was squeezing its way down the alley. Toward the end, though, there was an open door. It didn't appear that anyone was inside, but apparently there was for as the car stopped, a thin face appeared in a dirty window.

"Don't leave the car. I'll be right back." He said and stepped out of the car, straightening his lapels as he did. Harley grinned to herself as she watched him stride through the doorway with a flourish and shout "Good Afternoon, gentlemen!" He was so dramatic and she couldn't get enough of it.

The door closed behind the small group of men and Harley sighed, resting her head against the back of the seat. Over the past few weeks, she had become a different person but the idea didn't frighten her. She somewhat enjoyed being rebellious. After following the rules for so many years, it felt liberating, exhilarating even, to be breaking all those rules. Granted, she hadn't _really _done anything hugely illegal yet but she had a feeling the opportunity would be abundant while with The Joker.

Several minutes went by, full of Harley checking the radio for any good songs, and staring at the brick wall outside the car window, before the small door opened again and Joker emerged, carrying a black box, wrapped in a red ribbon. He grinned goofily, shaking the box at her excitedly as he spotted her watching him through the windshield. As the car door opened and Joker sat down, he handed the box to Harley and stared at her intently.

It was heavier than she had expected it to be. She pulled the silky red ribbon off the box and took off the lid to reveal a brand-new, gleaming metal gun. The name 'Harley Quinn' had been etched into the metal along the barrel in curvy, red script with black accents. She gawked, pulling the weapon from the box.

"Now you're officially part of the team." Joker said from beside her as he admired the gun he had bought her over her shoulder. It really was a nice gun and he was lucky he didn't have to pay much for it. Normally, he would have just stolen a gun for her, but he had a feeling Harley would be around for a while, and therefore she deserved her own weapon. The man who had put the writing on it just happened to be one of the few people on Joker's good list, having given him a gun back when The Clown Prince of Crime was only an idea, only beliefs. The man had made him swear not to tell anyone who gave him that gun, so The Joker, who always prided himself on being a man of his word, told no one, and instead supplied the man with 'business.'

Now, as he watched her examine the gun, he anxiously awaited her response. She _had _to say thank you eventually, and, well, if she didn't, he would make sure she learned some manners. But she surprised him yet again and squealed, jumping awkwardly into his lap, throwing her arms around his neck. "Thank you so much! It's beautiful!" she squealed as though he had just given her a diamond necklace. She kissed his cheek before climbing back into her own seat.

The car moved backwards through the alley toward the main street from which they had turned and Harley stared at her gun. It fit her hand perfectly as she held it and already it was warm from her own body heat. But then, she realized she had no idea how to even use a gun. She looked up and found that the car was cruising along the street again.

"Where are we going now?" she asked, watching him as he licked his lips, stretching his scars in a grin.

"Target practice." He replied, snickering to himself and immediately, Harley had a feeling The Joker had no intention of giving her dummies to practice on.

"But I don't even know how to fire one of these things."

He sighed. "Ok, you see the little pointy thing on the end of the gun, near your hand? That's the hammer. And when you pull that back and it locks, you pull the trigger and it fires." Harley was listening to every word, mentally pointing at these things on the gun. He reached over and pointed to a small switch on the base of the barrell. "This is the safety. Make sure you put it on when you aren't using your gun. It's easier to shoot yourself than it looks."

The car pulled onto ramp that Harley knew took them back out of the city toward the outskirts. Joker was still explaining her gun. "When you're out of bullets, you have to release the cartridge and either put another one in or reload." He fanned his hand at the gun. "Just hold onto it. I'll show you how to do it when we stop."

Harley's eyes scanned her surroundings as they drove out toward the Narrows. Normally, she would have been apprehensive about coming out here, but she had a gun and The Joker. Anyone would feel quite safe with that combination. The road here was bumpy and barely paved but her car handled it with ease until out of nowhere, he jerked the wheel and they pulled into a dark garage.

"Where are we?" she asked immediately as The Joker pulled his own gun from an inside pocket of his jacket and admired it with a grin.

"This building is our new hideout. The only problem is…" he was speaking in a quiet voice as though he were trying not to laugh and he pulled three cartridges full of bullets from his jacket. "…we seem to have an insect problem." At this, he handed a cartridge to Harley before bursting into his manic cackle. She loaded the bullets into her gun with a sigh, knowing full well they weren't about to go exterminate any cockroaches or spiders.

"Just follow me, babes." He swung one leg out of the car but paused, turning back to lock onto her eyes. "And Harley, if I tell you to do something, do it. Don't ask questions, just do it. You have to trust me." There were no smiles in his eyes and what normal coldness that was normally there was replaced with something else Harley was unfamiliar with. She nodded.

Just inside the door to the building, Joker stopped, holding his arm out in front of Harley. His eyes were focused on the other end of the hallway, listening intently to the muffled voices coming from further into the building. He leaned over, using his hand to pull Harley's ear close to his mouth.

"There's about eight people out there. At the end of this hallway is a ladder. Climb up the ladder and get on the upper level so you can see down and take them out when the time is right." He whispered but Harley looked up at him in the dark corner.

"How am I supposed to know when that is?" Joker shrugged, tossing his hands slightly.

"I dunno. You'll just feel it. Trust me." He rested his hands, including the gun, on her shoulders and kissed her once lightly on the lips. "Here we go."

The two walked as stealthily as possible down the dark hallway toward the entrance and through the dim light, Harley spotted her ladder. Without a second thought, she started to climb, her heart pounding. A small opening in the ceiling allowed the ladder to continue until she was high enough to step onto the upper landing.

From below, she could hear Joker's surprisingly loud, clowny voice drifting up through the rafters and even as she crawled through the sawdust, behind stacks of crates, she grinned to herself.

"It seems there's been some misunderstanding, gentlemen." He said. "I need this space for my shenanigans and all of you just happen to be in the way. So, I'm going to need you to pack up and…" he whistled, pointing at the doorway.

"Oh, really?" one of the men contested, standing up from behind a desk. It was obvious from his voice that he was terrified and Harley thought his bravery was cute. "We aren't scared of you, you fucking freak." She bristled, cocking the hammer into place as quietly as she could. No one talks to her man like that.

"Now, those are some powerful words." She heard Joker's switch knife click into place. "Are you sure you'd like those to be your last? If it were me, I would much rather have said something a little funnier." Harley was crawling on her belly toward the edge of the top level and the scene below her became visible.

The man who had been stupid enough to stand up to The Joker was backed up against his desk only about fifteen feet from her. Joker was standing directly in the way, though…

"My employees and I don't take orders from a psychopath in clown makeup and a costume." The man's voice was trembling but at these words, The Joker stepped to the side and Harley fired. Instantaneously, the man dropped and adrenaline surged through her veins like fire. Everything that she had ever known was screaming at her to stop, put down the gun, and run, but she stood firm, holding the gun steady in her trembling hands. Down below, Joker whistled, glancing up at where the bullet had come from as he placed his shoe on the dead man's face.

"I _told _ you you'd feel it!" he cried, holding his arms out in a twirl, howling with laughter as Harley opened fire on the rest of the employees, all of them dropping like flies. She had managed to kill all but two, having hit them in the legs or arms. They cried pathetically from below her as she stood up, bracing her arms on the metal railing. She grinned, cocking her hip to the side as she blew the faint trail of gunpowder smoke that trailed from the end of her gun… She had always wanted to do that.

The Joker watched her do this from the first level with a grin. She was every bit the killer he had expected her to be and he motioned for her to come down. They still had some playing to do.

Over toward the back door, the two remaining employees sat screaming and crying, clutching their gunshot wounds and The Joker approached, wrapping his arm around Harley's curvy waist as she strode up beside him, still clutching her gun.

"I didn't want her to go without any recognition, so fellas, I'd like you to meet Harley Quinn. She took care of your buddies here." Joker chuckled, releasing Harley's shoulders. "Go ahead and take them out of their misery, honey." He said and turned his back, walking over to sit behind the man's desk who had confronted him earlier. He leaned back in the chair, crossing his ankles atop the desk to watch Harley fight her mental battle.

She stared down at the two bleeding men and raised the gun, her finger barely resting on the trigger. It was one thing to shoot someone from a distance, but up close, she could see their eyes, see the expressions on their face. Her heart was pounding and it was as though she were deaf to everything but its sound inside her head. But she took a deep breath anyway and pulled the trigger once, then twice, finishing both men in an instant. Flecks of their warm blood hit her face and for a moment, she felt as though she were about to vomit but instead, two surprisingly warm hands rested on her arms from behind and she sighed, tucking the gun back into her pocket once the safety was on.

"You did a good job, Harley." Joker cooed in her ear as he pulled her into a hug from behind. "I'm proud of you. And excellent aim, really, with that first guy."

"Thanks." She replied, but walked away back toward the door she and Joker had first come through while he made a call on a cell phone over by the bodies of employees. Harley couldn't hear what he was saying but didn't care. She sat down against the wall on the floor and stared at the metal death instrument in her hands. It was still warm as she turned it over and over. The fact that she had killed eight people was slightly unsettling, but what was even more, she had actually enjoyed it. It would take some getting used to, but she figured if she did it as often as The Joker, the shock would wear off eventually.

Through her musings, Harley felt a hand lift her chin and she looked up to find The Joker towering above her, holding out his other hand. "Let's go." He murmured but as she stood, he gathered her up tightly in his arms and she melted against his chest. "You OK, kiddo?" he asked quietly, surprised a little at himself for honestly caring. She nodded as he released her.

"Yeah, I'm fine… really. I just didn't expect to enjoy that so much." She answered, grinning awkwardly as she fingered the metal handle to her gun. Joker laughed, taking her hand, leading her toward the garage.

"I knew from the moment I met you that you would be a natural killer." He said as they climbed into the car. "There was just somethin' magical about ya!" Both cackled wildly as the engine roared to life and took them away from the final resting place of those eight employees.


	13. The New Lady Of The House

"You better have good news for me, Johnny," Joker barked into the cell phone after he had answered and Harley looked up at him as they drove back toward her apartment. She could hear the man named Johnny's muffled voice through the phone against Joker's ear, although she could not tell what he was saying. But from the way her man slammed his fist into the steering wheel told her that Johnny, in fact, did _not _have good news.

"OK, well that's just a minor setback." He was saying. "We'll just have to stay at the Henderson place until I find another one." There was a voice from the other end of the phone and Harley jumped as Joker suddenly roared "I don't give a SHIT if all the stuff is in the truck or not! Get it back inside and set up the way it was, before I get there! Relay this message to all the guys, please, Johnny, dear." He ended on a falsely pleasant note before hanging up the phone with a sigh.

"What happened?" Harley asked testily, hoping he wasn't about to snap at her. Instead, he sighed, running a flustered hand through his stringy, green curls.

"Apparently, the boys were on the way over to the warehouse we were just in to move all my stuff when the cops showed up." He rolled his eyes heavily. "Which just figures… The cops ruin everything." The expression on his face was one of a disappointed five year-old. Harley grinned, patting his knee.

"It'll be OK, baby." She reassured him, but when she went to take her hand back, he held onto it, keeping it in its place on his knee. It had been the longest time since he had felt such a warm, gentle hand touching him, especially one that wasn't trembling, or attached to a screaming woman and honestly, he was starting to like it.

The rest of the car ride to her apartment was surprisingly quiet; the Joker lost in his own musings, Harley caught staring out the window at the buildings and cars as they passed. The magnitude of her actions back at the warehouse had settled in, although it wasn't as though she were feeling any remorse. She didn't know any of those men she killed, therefore where the guilt should have been, there was nothing but pride and self-satisfaction.

It wasn't long before the car stopped again, and Joker got out, immediately scanning their surroundings. "Go upstairs and get what you need. But don't bring much. _Only_ get what you need." He made eye contact with her over the top of the car to make sure she understood and she nodded, trotting off toward the back door to her apartment building. She stopped and turned.

"But what about Jester?" she asked, her heart now hurting at the thought of leaving her dog. Joker shrugged, waving his hand as he leaned on the roof of the car.

"What _about _Jester?"

Harley stomped her foot childishly and The Joker grinned at her antics. She was too cute. "I can't just _leave_ him here!" she exclaimed. "And I can't take him anywhere else!"

Joker paused, but sighed, rolling his eyes. "Alright, Harley, bring him along." He finally said and instantly began to grumble irritably to himself as she bounced off through the door and upstairs. Had it been a human, he would have said to leave it, but Joker had always been partial to animals, especially dogs. They didn't talk, were eternally loyal and just so much damn fun to have around. He sighed again, heavier… _One big, happy family…_ he thought to himself with another generous roll of his eyes.

It wasn't long before Harley came bursting out through the door again, a large bag over one shoulder, Jester on a leash in her other hand. The dog spotted The Joker in the car and immediately started to pull at his restraint, but there was no time here for greetings. Into the back seat went the dog, along with her bag and in no time, the two were leaving the parking lot again.

"Honestly, I'm a little surprised at you, Joker." Harley said once they were speeding along a main street. The sun was setting behind the tall buildings of Gotham, casting the roads into shadow.

"Why is that, pray tell?" he replied with a question and looked over to anticipate her answer with raised eyebrows. The black rings around his eyes stretched with his expression.

Harley shrugged, motioning with her hand at their surroundings through the car window. "Because you haven't blown anything up or murdered anyone of importance. I figured you would want to come out with a bang."

The Joker hesitated. "You gotta make sure all the bases are covered before you hit one out of the park, Harley." He finally replied. "And when you're great, it's not 'murder'… It's 'assassinate'." He grinned widely to nobody in particular while Harley mused over his answer.

By the time the car had reached another section of the Narrows, on a street called Henderson, they pulled onto yet another back alley before Joker stopped the car and got out, stretching his arms over his head. "Where are we?" Harley asked; her nose crinkled slightly as she took in the appearance of the dilapidated apartment from the outside. It was a brick building but the stones were cracked and falling apart, the windows caked with a layer of dirt and grime.

"Home, sweet home," he replied, also looking at the building but with an expression of admiration on his painted face. "Isn't it lovely?"

"Yeah, sure." Harley replied, opening the back seat to let Jester out and get her bag. Joker stopped her.

"Don't bring your bag in. I have slaves for that." He threw his head back and laughed, turning to walk back up to the solid, closed door. Harley obeyed and instead grabbed Jester's leash, leading him over to stand next to Joker. He banged on it a few times with a fist until a stifled voice from the other side spoke.

"Who is it?" they demanded.

"It is I, Joker the Magnificent!" he practically shouted with a wave of his hand and a giggle. The locks on the other side were clicking and sliding out of place and the door opened to reveal a perfectly 'normal' living room where several men were sitting around, playing cards or watching TV. This sort of normalcy caught Harley off guard but as her eyes fell onto the peeling wallpaper, she squealed as Joker grabbed her legs and threw her backwards over his shoulder.

"What are you doing?!" she screamed, now laughing hysterically against his back as he stepped into the apartment.

"I'm carrying you over the threshold, of course. Isn't this how they do it?" he was looking around at his 'boys' for approval although none of them really answered him.

"No, you have to carry me in your arms! Not like road kill or something!" she squealed, clutching the back of his coat for support as he set her down and instead swept her up into his arms in the traditional new husband and wife fashion. She linked her arms around his neck and grinned up at him. "There… perfect." The Joker grinned back at her and for a moment they stared at each other until a bark from Jester caught their attention.

The dog had already run over to the men in the room and was sitting in the midst of them, wagging his tail as one of them petted him. "Cute dog." The man said, looking up at The Joker and Harley.

"Thanks!" she replied as The Joker set her down and she walked over, kneeling beside her dog. "He's very friendly, but don't pull on his tail. He got it caught in the door and broke it a few weeks ago," she explained, but looked up as The Joker rested a heavy hand on her head.

"By the way, gents, this is Harley Quinn. She's the new lady of the house. Whatever she tells you to do, you do it or else hear it from me." He announced, shooting a daring look at each one of the six men in the room. "Paulette, go get her bag and bring it upstairs." The man named 'Paulette' stood up and immediately went to the door as Joker turned to Harley. "Let's go upstairs, shall we, my Queen?" As she stood, he scooped her up into his arms again and began to climb the dark, rickety staircase at the back of the room.

As he carried her up the stairs, Harley had to admit she found it kind of sexy how the guys downstairs obeyed her man's every command and how he seemed to have no trouble at all carrying her up a tall flight of stairs. She wrapped her arms around his neck, grinning privately to herself in the darkness.

"I'm a man of simple taste, Harley." He explained quietly. "I'm not about money and luxury." As he was saying this, he kicked open a door at the end of the hall to reveal one of the most gorgeous bedroom sets Harley had ever seen. The room seemed to be dwarfed by a huge canopy bed in the middle of it and unsurprisingly, the comforter and pillows were, of course, purple. Joker set her down to watch her as she entered the room, gawking open-mouthed at his well-furnished bedroom.

The walls had been sloppily painted a deep shade of green to contrast with the bed set the same way his green hair and waistcoat contrasted with the rest of him. Atop a mahogany dresser sat a large, flat screen TV. "Simple taste, huh?" she asked, turning to look at him with an incredulous smile on her face.

Before he could reply, 'Paulette' had returned with her bag and was approaching The Joker cautiously from behind. "Here's her bag, boss." He said, handing the bag to him once he had turned.

"Ah, thank you. Now go make yourself useful." An empty purple glove swatted the man on the back as he walked away and The Joker grinned, stepping inside the room to shut the door behind him. "So do you like it?" he asked, but continued before Harley could reply. "The colors can't be argued, so I wouldn't even try."

Harley glided her hand along the surprisingly soft, purple comforter and smiled. "I love the colors. And I love the bedroom." She sat down on the bed, amazed already with how comfortable it was and how comfortable she was being here. Everything, including the paint for the walls had been stolen and she knew it, but didn't care. It suited him perfectly.

"So, what's the plan for the night?" she asked, watching Joker as he stood in front of a closet and removed his purple coat and green vest, even going so far as to hang them up.

"Well, I don't usually… _ever_ do this, but I didn't make any plans for the night except to lay here and bother, I mean hang out with you." He grinned, lying down along the bed next to her, now down to his shirt, pants and multi-colored socks. He propped himself up on his elbow. "So feel special." He added with a serious look.

"Oh, I feel special already. Trust me."


	14. Lurking

It was easily three o'clock in the morning and everyone in the Henderson House had long been asleep

It was easily three o'clock in the morning and everyone in the Henderson House had long been asleep. One, however, stole through the shadows, a scarred face illuminated by the occasional moonlit window or crevice. Lurking was The Joker's specialty. It wasn't hard. One simply had to wander, making his steps appear aimless, all the while watching with peeled eyes everything that was going on around him. But there was one thing The Joker brought to lurking that changed the definition of the term; he always looked like he was up to no good.

His directionless meandering brought him eventually back to his bedroom door where he stood and stared at the solid wood for a few moments, trying to decide whether or not he was ready to fall asleep. Just inside, the moon was bathing Harley and his bed in an eerie, almost ghostly glow. The Joker found it beautiful and moved inside the room, toward the arm chair next to the bed. His shirt had been discarded ages ago and as he sat there, one of his fingers traced a scar that traveled along his stomach. It was very visible in the moonlight and he grinned as his mind replayed the memories from that particular battle wound.

Every single one of his scars- he could explain perfectly how he had obtained them. He could recount the year, time of day, situation and yet when it came down to remembering the _pain_, it was as though he had never felt them. Pain was such a silly thing, in his mind. He even grunted a laugh to himself in the darkness, crossing his ankles in front of him. All the times the Batman had thrown him into something, or punched him or kicked him, it never hurt. Sure he felt the pain, but his mind refused to accept it. Instead, he laughed. Laughing made everything better.

He reached up, sliding a finger into his green hair, over a shorter, fresher scar and the corner of his lips turned up in a half-smirk. _Fucking Batman… _he thought bitterly in his head. The glass at the Gotham county jail was not thin in any sense of the word and yet Joker's head seemed to have no trouble smashing it, of course with Batman's brute strength behind it. That was the one time recently he could remember feeling pain. He did laugh. He did keep composed but… it hurt like a _bitch._

Up on the bed, Harley sighed in her sleep and turned over, now facing him as she slumbered peacefully. Her hair was still a mess and Joker smirked with pride. Of course, being that he 'took the night off' to hang around with her and that it was, in fact, her first night as Joker's official girl, some celebration had been in order. Several pillows had been pushed off the bed in the process and now lay abandoned on the floor.

Joker closed his eyes with a quiet moan as his mind teased him by playing and replaying clips of Harley writhing underneath him, staring up at him with those piercing, haunting eyes. Her eyes were the most delicate shade of seafoam green the likes of which The Joker had only seen in one other woman. He leaned forward in the chair, burying his half-painted face into his hands. Harley looked just like her and he could not escape it. At first, it was easy to ignore, being at Arkham. He only saw her for an hour every morning so he could avoid being caught off guard or worse, caught staring.

But the previous night, in her bedroom, in the heat of such sexual anticipation, he found he could hardly keep eye contact with her. It hurt his heart in a way he thought he had made himself impervious to. Staring into Harley's eyes was like staring into an open picture book to his past.

At this, it was definitely bedtime. Once he was down to just his boxers, Joker climbed into bed and curled up on his side, facing the closet. His eyes were wide open as though in rebellion but he forced them shut and willed himself to fall asleep. There was so much to do, so much to prepare, but he was human and as was the curse of humanity, he needed sleep in order to function. But as he sighed, a warm hand touched his back and Harley placed one soft kiss between his shoulder blades. With that, he shut his eyes and sank into sleep.

The chilly, mid-October air ruffled Commissioner Gordon's hair and he folded his arms over his chest with a sigh. Down on the streets below, the wind was not as brisk as it was atop the roof, standing next to the Batsignal. Wherever the Caped Crusader was this evening, he was apparently unaware of how late he was. In a ditch effort, Jim had turned the signal on, hoping Batman would show up. Ever since the incident with Harvey Dent… rather, what _used_ to be Harvey Dent… Batman had been on the run and rarely, if ever stopped by- Batsignal or not.

The pictures in Gordon's hands ruffled in the wind lamely as he unfolded his arms. Maybe the next night… But as he turned around quickly, he might as well have walked into a brick wall. A tall, looming figure in all black was standing behind him, silent. Jim cleared his throat. How long had he been there?

"Batman, I'm glad you're here." He admitted, the corner of his mustache twitching in a grin. It had been several months since he had seen the vigilante and if he were honest with himself, he secretly missed the thrill of being in contact with this modern day hero. The mystery that surrounded The Batman fascinated him like a young kid again.

The masked figure remained silent, but looked down at the pictures Gordon had with him. "He's escaped… again." He said, handing them over. "He escaped from Arkham about three days ago. And absolutely _no one_ has any idea where he is. It's like he just disappeared. I honestly would have figured—"

"You can't _figure _anything with The Joker. And you won't find him until he wants you to." Batman growled, now holding a small florescent light over the pictures to see better. The top picture appeared to be a security tape from a camera in Arkham. There was a body lying on the floor in the background of the picture, but front and center stood The Joker, his mouth wide in silent, frozen, hysterical laughter as he glared at the camera above him.

"Chief of Staff at Arkham tells me one of his top psychologists..." Jim's eyebrows furrowed in a frown. "…The Joker's psychologist has gone missing, or at least did not show up for work this morning. She was said to be The Joker's new 'love' or… whatever it is he feels."

"The Joker doesn't love anybody. He loves himself and the chaos he creates." Batman replied wisely, now slowly gliding a long bar over the pictures to scan them. "The psychologist, I'll look into. As for the Joker, I stand by what I say. He could be on this roof and we wouldn't find him… unless he wanted to be found." His cape swished as he turned, walking over to the far wall and mounting one foot. "But I have a feeling he won't stay in hiding much longer."

Harley bounced through the mall with her purse and a wad of cash was burning a hole in it. That morning, when she had woken, The Joker had left her a note and a thick, bundled up wad of one- hundred dollar bills and had specifically instructed her to 'buy some pretty clothes'. But he had also said not to do anything stupid like steal something and get caught. 'I need you to stay below the radar for now, lover muffin.' He had written in his serial killer-style handwriting.

So she had been there for an hour and already had been to Victoria's Secret and nearly blown two-hundred dollars on lingerie that she thought her man would enjoy. Two large pink bags bumped her legs as she walked, trying to pick out what store she wanted to visit next. Several high-end clothing stores flew by as she walked, but she ignored these. For years, these were the only stores she visited; the stores that carried female business attire. Pencil skirts and heels had been the uniform for far too long. Harley grinned to herself as she turned the corner into a much younger, much more fun-looking store.

The music was loud in this store but Harley enjoyed it as she flitted along between the clothing racks, randomly looking through sizes. A few pairs of jeans caught her eye but as she made off toward the jeans shelves, a young red-head walked up, eyeing her Victoria's Secret bags.

"Wow, someone must have a lucky mister..." she commented with a wink and Harley nodded, a goofy grin melting all over her face.

Four hours later, Harley could hardly walk straight for all the bags she carried. Of the one- thousand dollars The Joker had left her, she had spent nearly all of it, but somewhere in the midst of the bags, Harley knew there was an outfit The Joker would absolutely _die_ for and she couldn't wait to figure out which one it was.

Through the exit doors of the mall, Harley could see her car but paused before leaving as a Hot Topic caught her eye. So she headed inside to see if there was something she could blow the last hundred dollars on. The music here was loud as well and the store smelled a little funny. Clothing and t-shirts and posters adorned the walls, while a few random customers perused the shelves on the floor, but Harley wasn't finding much interest in this store. Still, she stayed and looked.

But at the very back of the store, a lone rack stood, covered in earrings and jewelry and a pair of bright red suspenders caught her attention. She grinned, running one of the straps between her fingers. Her man wore suspenders, but kind of because he had to- his pants were too big. Harley's, on the other hand, were not. But who cares? They still looked sexy on anyone and she had the perfect skirt and top to match them. As she pulled them off the rack, the suspenders fell into one of her bags, down through the tissue paper to the clothing inside. Harley blinked, looking around.

It was just too easy. The cashier was nowhere to be seen and all the other customers were at the front of the store, leaving her completely alone to steal those suspenders. Of course she had the money to pay for them, but stealing them would be so much more… _fun._ At the back of her mind though, Joker's words of warning echoed. He had said _not _to get caught… What if she didn't?


	15. The Joker: Live and Unedited

"Harley!" Joker's dirty shoe had barely touched the carpet inside the Henderson House before he bellowed her name and paused, listening. No answer came so he took a deep breath. "HARLEY!!"

"Yes?" Finally came a reply from behind him and Joker rolled his eyes, taking off his coat.

"It's about time. Geesh, I though you had-" his breath caught in his throat as he turned to face Harley, who stood on the fourth stair from the bottom, dressed in a plaid miniskirt and long black and red, mid-thigh length stockings. "Oh wow…" He said loudly to himself, and the other men in the room, as his eyes wandered openly over Harley.

"Do you like it?" she asked, now grinning madly as she stepped down off the stairs, loving the way every man in the room's eyes were all over her in a way that would have startled her a week ago. Now, she loved the attention. She just hoped Joker didn't notice his boys gawking at her. "I thought I could wear this if we ever go out together." She winked, placing her hands on her hips as she now stood a few paces away from her man.

His jaw was hanging slack on his face as he continued to ogle her. "I think it's perfect," he replied stepping forward, the insane look in his eyes now gone, replaced with a look Harley had recently discovered as her favorite of The Joker's expressions. His dark eyes narrowed into a sexy smirk and his fingers reached out to glide along her exposed collarbones. The neckline of her top plunged low, revealing a tasteful amount of cleavage, although the bottom of the top rested just above her belly button. He licked his lips as he looked down, admiring the way the skirt and studded belt _just_ rested on her hips.

One of the men sitting on the couch cleared his throat and broke Joker from his staring contest with Harley's chest. "You guys think she looks hot?" he asked, holding out an arm toward his girl who spun on the spot, showing off all aspects of her outfit. The youngest guy, nearest the end of the couch turned and stared, a weird grin on his face.

"Hell yeah, boss, she fuckin-" Harley jumped as a gunshot blasted through the apartment and the young guy who had been about to say how hot she looked, fell off the couch, dead. Joker raised his eyebrows as he looked around at the other men.

"Anyone else?" He asked, taking Harley's small hand in his much larger, purple glove. "Good. Let's go upstairs, Harls, so you can show me what else ya bought." Honestly, he didn't really care what she bought, he just wanted to get her alone. The two moved toward the stairs, hand in hand as the rest of the guys remained silent and still. It didn't even appear as though they were breathing. As Harley and Joker walked past, he motioned with his gun at the dead body. "And somebody do something about that."

Joker's bedroom was dimly lit by a small lamp on the dresser and Harley turned as she stepped inside first, her lips stretching into a seductive grin. "I bought you something special today." She purred, sliding her hands up the material of his waistcoat to his shoulders. Joker raised his eyebrows, using his hands to push Harley's hips toward the bed, slowly.

"Really, now?" He smirked, licking his lips. "I'm interested already." The backs of Harley's thighs were now against the bed but she pushed on his chest, moving him back a step.

"I have to go get it first. Hold on." And with that, she disappeared into Joker's closet, shutting the door behind her, leaving a very confused and horny clown sitting on the bed. He sighed with a grin, kicking off his shoes and wiggling his toes comfortably. Coming home to a chick like Harley, dressed like that, after a long day of 'work' was exactly what he needed. So he kicked it back and nestled into his pillows, not even caring that his white makeup was smearing all over the purple satin.

But the door to the closet opened again and Joker sat up, only for his jaw to practically rest on his chest again. There stood Harley, barely dressed in purple and black lace lingerie, complete with leggings and the straps that attached them to the bottoms of her underwear. He growled in his throat, standing up from the bed as his hands slid around her waist.

"Oh…_ Harley…" _ he moaned, loosening his tie with a couple jerks back and forth. "You really don't know what you've gotten yourself into." Dramatically, he smoothed his green hair back from his painted face. "You _know_ purple is my favorite color, right?" His voice had dropped nearly an octave and Harley felt herself grow weak in the knees at his change of tone. He normally spoke in a cold, higher-pitched clowny voice, but his threatening voice adopted a deep, sexy tone that gave Harley massive fits of the shivers.

"I saw this and I just knew you'd love it." She replied but shut her eyes as Joker pulled her an inch or two closer and gently bit down on her bottom lip.

"I do love it…" He cooed, one of his fingers hooking into the bottoms to her lingerie. "… But I think it would look better on the floor. Or on the dresser, if you prefer." He was kissing her neck now and Harley's defenses were failing.

Somewhere far off, she heard his knife click into place and she opened her eyes. "Please don't cut it off, baby. It was very expensive and I'd like to keep it." She put gingerly, hoping, praying he wasn't about to ignore her. But instead, he set the knife down on the nightstand before leaning down to pick her up and wrap her legs around his middle.

"Fine, but only because it looks so fucking good on you." He mumbled between kisses as Harley unbuttoned his green vest, but only made it through three buttons before she got impatient and started on his shirt. The skin beneath the material was warm and a little damp with sweat, but this didn't bother Harley; she found it primal and sexy.

The bed creaked quietly as they fell onto it, Joker on his back while Harley sat atop his waist, still slowly unbuttoning his layers until she reached his suspenders and pants, his shirt now open and in the process of being removed. But for some reason, it seemed as though he was enjoying being undressed so Harley decided to play with him a little.

Joker had his eyes closed at the moment but when Harley's fingers touched the button to his pants, he looked down at her to find that she was watching him too. Her blonde hair was falling over one shoulder and her grin was coy and flirty as she leaned down, bringing her face closer to his stomach.

Neither said a word as they stared at each other. Harley wondered how he would react while Joker wondered when she was going to get up and let him have control. But in several short seconds, Joker's pants were down and he was instantly defenseless as Harley took the tip of his arousal in her mouth and sucked gently. He shut his eyes, tilting his head back as a surprisingly loud groan escaped him and suddenly, he _never_ wanted Harley to get up. It was so un-Joker-like to show himself so raw like this but he couldn't help it. What she was doing felt better than anything he had experienced in a LONG time.

Harley watched him make faces as she continued to torment him but the more she did this, she realized, the more fuel she added to his fire. A wild sweat had broken out on Joker's forehead and he fisted a hand so tightly into her hair that she could feel a few of them come loose of their folicles. But Harley knew this was her own doing. She had known it would do this to him. When it came time for him to be in control, there would be nothing she could do about it but enjoy it. This was The Joker; live and unedited.

A half hour later, Harley stumbled to the bathroom, brushing a bit of hair away from her slightly sweaty face with a breathless laugh. Her legs felt like jelly and her back ached a little but her entire body rang with a dull, pleasurable feeling that reached all the way down into her toes and fingers. She was still naked but luckily, she had grabbed her man's big purple coat on the way out, because the moment she reached for the bathroom door knob, it flew open and a tall man stood there. She instantly recognized him as one of The Joker's cronies and stepped aside to let him past. As he did this, she heard him snicker under his breath and he shook his head.

"Is something funny?" she asked of his back, now frowning. The man turned.

"No, miss. Just that you're fuckin' the boss and wearin' his shit now." He replied with another snicker, this time to her face.

"Yeah, I am. Jealous?" she asked, placing a hand on her hip as one of her eyebrows raised into a dangerous arc. The man's face dulled for a moment before he snapped back.

"Joker doesn't let _nobody_ touch that jacket." He pointed at it as Harley kept it closed around her. But this conversation was carrying on far too long as far as Harley was concerned. All she had wanted was to alleviate the stress on her bladder then go lay back down in bed, naked in those purple satin sheets. She took a step closer to the man.

"Well, then I guess I'm not nobody, huh?"

Joker stood on the other side of his bedroom door, grinning. It had been tremendously hard not to burst out laughing at her "jealousy" remark. She had become, seemingly overnight, exactly what he had planned for her. This new found sense of confidence she wore was sexy and refreshing like that perfume called 'Happy' she had been wearing that one day…

Distantly, he heard the toilet flush so he laid back down and sure enough, the door opened and Harley stepped inside, shutting it behind her. She grinned at her man on the bed and slid his coat off her shoulders with a wink. Joker couldn't help but smirk and hold his arm out for her to come lay down. So she did just that and snuggled up against his side, resting her head on his chest.

"Anybody give you trouble?" he asked moments later, now absentmindedly tying knots into her long hair.

"Nope." She replied, sitting up as Joker did the same, stretching his long arms.

"Good. Sleep tight, angel. I've gotta run." Harley watched him stand up and step into his pants with a somewhat surprised expression on her face.

"You're leaving?" she asked, sounding a little bit more pathetic than she had meant to.

"Yes, darling." He raised his eyebrows with his reply, mocking her tone. He was buttoning his shirt, watching Harley as she sprawled out naked on his bed with a grin, arching her back.

"Ok, well, hurry back." She purred, rolling onto her stomach, resting her head on her folded arms. He ignored her, knotting his tie in the mirror while wondering whether or not he should re-do his makeup. It was a little blotchy but then again, he had just been quite active so he decided against it and turned to Harley.

"How do I look?" he asked, holding out his arms.

"Like a million bucks, baby." She winked, turning onto her side and Joker smirked, grabbing his purple coat off the chair on which Harley had left it.

"I knew you were smart." He paused, frowning as he patted down his numerous pockets. "I'm missing something… Ah." Harley looked over at the nightstand as he pointed at his knife, still lying there from earlier. "Throw it to me."

Harley grabbed it but looked from the knife to Joker and his outstretched hand incredulously. But he did not change his request and instead snapped his fingers impatiently, staring at her. So she threw it, a little hard, admittedly, but he caught it nonetheless and stowed it in an inside pocket.

"I should be back by morning. I put a number in your cell phone. Call it for an emergency but nothing else." He turned toward the door but paused. "And I trust your judgment on what constitutes the term 'emergency.'" Once again, he turned to the door but Harley called after him.

"Hey." He faced her, staring at her expectantly. "C'mere." She motioned with her finger for him to come back over to her as she rolled onto her side but Joker stomped his foot heavily, rolling his eyes.

"Harley, I really have to-"

"Please?" she whined, her eyes softening as she stretched out a little further and slid her hand along her curvy side. Joker growled, trudging over to the end of the bed and he crawled up on his hands and knees toward Harley until he was covering her completely with his body and coat.

"You're killin' me, Harley… Killin' me." He said, shaking his head but felt his body relax as she tugged on his tie and kissed him gently on the lips.

"Not yet." She said against his mouth as she pulled back and he laughed before kissing her once more. And with that, he was gone.

After what had seemed like five minutes, Harley woke only to find that the previously dim bedroom was now bright and full of sunlight; she had forgotten to draw the curtains and apparently it was morning. A somewhat familiar growling sound met her ears and she rolled over to find Joker in bed with his back to her, snoring. She grinned. It was so strange and yet cute watching him doing something so normal and everyday; Harley wondered when she would get to catch him shaving.

From the looks of it, he had gotten back sometime during the night and had carelessly thrown his clothes onto the armchair next to the bed. So Harley slid out from beneath the sheets and put on a pair of jeans and a tank top. She wasn't sure what time it was but from the look of the sun, it was mid-morning and Harley was a little surprised that Joker was sleeping so late. She left him alone and instead walked around the end of the bed to hang up his now wrinkled shirt, pants and vest.

She grinned at the sleeping killer in the bed as she folded his tie neatly. He had taken his makeup off but was laying on his stomach, half his face buried into the pillow, his green hair strung out in every which direction. This was really the only time Harley ever got to watch him be quiet and peaceful and she equivocated him to a lazy teenager on a Saturday morning after a long night.

Downstairs, the living room was empty, save for Jester, curled up in the middle of the couch snoozing but the moment Harley entered the room, his floppy ears raised and he looked up at her as if to say 'Good morning, Mom!' Harley smiled, walking over to the couch where she plopped down next to her dog.

"Hey, baby…" she cooed, running a hand along his smooth fur. "Doin' OK so far?" The dog wagged his tail with a whimper and shifted so he could rest his head in her lap.

The TV was still on and the mid-morning Gotham news had come on so she stood up and walked to the kitchen, curious to see what sort of breakfast The Joker liked to stock up on. The refrigerator was nearly empty save for a large, dangerous-looking bottle of green liquid that Harley figured would not taste very good so she left it there and moved on to the cabinets… There were a few random things here, most of which looked expired. But she stood on her toes and two boxes of Pop-Tarts came into view. She laughed to herself, taking them out.

It felt like hours before Harley heard any movement from upstairs and she wondered why none of the guys had come down already. As if in answer to her question, she heard a low groan from the top of the stairs and two feet appeared there. Her stomach fluttered as a bleary-eyed Joker stumbled into the living room and collapsed on the carpet with a grunt.

"Hello." He opened his eyes to look up at Harley and Jester, both watching him.

"Good morning." She replied, now grinning as he sat up and shook his green hair away from his naked face. Harley watched him do this, a little confused. What if one of the guys came downstairs and saw him like this? He didn't have a shirt on or anything. Shouldn't he have some makeup on or something? "Where are all the guys?"

Joker opened one eye and a devilish grin slowly spread its way across his face. "Some of the guys decided that this line of business wasn't really in their best interest." He replied, lowering his face to give Harley one of his 'you know what I mean?' looks, cocked eyebrow and all. She immediately understood and both burst out laughing at the same time.

"So we have the house to ourselves for now, my dear. So if you want to run around ass-naked, be my guest." He sat up as Jester crawled off the couch and inched over to him, sniffing his hand. Joker had brought down his brightly colored socks with him and apparently, Jester thought they smelled just fabulous as he buried his snout in them and sniffed, his tail wagging.

"I think I should get some groceries." Harley stated, watching Joker pet her dog but in an instant, several things happened at the same time. Jester, in a fit of playfulness, snatched Joker's socks and made a break toward the stairs, but Joker was too quick and grabbed his tail. A loud, angry bark echoed in the room as Jester spun and sunk his teeth into Joker's forearm but Joker was too fast for the dog. He grabbed a hold of Jester's snout and pulled him back before grabbing the growling and furious dog by the neck.

Harley jumped off the couch and threw herself at Joker and Jester, squealing "Stop! He broke his tail!" But once again, a knife had appeared in Joker's hand and Jester was whimpering while being pinned to the floor. Harley flung herself over the dog, holding up her hand. "Please don't hurt him!"

Joker's arm was bleeding as he held the knife, looking absolutely murderous. "Move, Harley." She did not so he raised his voice. "MOVE!"

"Please!" she practically screamed. "I've had him since he was a puppy! He didn't mean it!" As she watched her man hold a knife over her and her dog, she saw a side of him that she had not seen yet: the murderer. Her expression softened and tears filled her eyes. "Please, Joker." She pleaded.

Joker looked from Harley to the dog, all the while his arm was throbbing painfully and blood was now dripping onto the already dark carpet. Everything he believed in told him to kill that dog, just to teach Harley a lesson about animals but then again, if he killed her precious pet, she would probably hate him forever and _still _he needed her.

So in some act of generosity, he put away the knife and stood up, casting a dark look at Harley and her dog. "If he bites me again, I'll kill him and nail his broken tail to the door." He spat and disappeared back up the stairs, slamming the bathroom door behind him with a loud bang.


	16. I'm Gonna Burn This Whole World Down

Author's Note: This chapter has been my faveorite to write so far. My inspiration music for this chapter was the song Burn by Nine Inch Nails. I strongly recommend listening to it. It's totally perfect for the following chapter. Enjoy!! And again, thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing. Your suggestions and comments really help! And also, my beta reader SugarDemon1035 did some concept art for Harley's costume. If you want to see the idea on a model, visit this link: smartcookie1035./art/Harley-Quinn-Film-Version-100017657

Several days passed slowly, each as boring as the last for Harley. Joker was leaving randomly during the day and night and she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was planning something, although every time she asked him about it, he told her to mind her own business. But she was bored, being cooped up in that old house all the time. She was ready to see action and get to use her gun that had lain abandoned on the nightstand for the past week. Since the other day, Joker and Jester had called a truce and now took to play fighting on the living room carpet, some of their fake fights, actually ending in bloodshed. Harley would watch though with a smile on her face until one or the other yelped in pain and the match was over… Joker almost always won.

Harley looked up from the television in Joker's bedroom, a solid week after she had moved in, as voices drifted up from downstairs, among them, the loud, clowny voice of her man. She grinned and mentally counted to herself. _Three… two…one…_

"HARLEY!!"

From the top of the stairs, she could count seven new men Joker had brought home, all wearing black long-sleeved shirts and pants. "Did somebody die?" she asked jokingly, stepping down a couple steps until Joker appeared from behind the refrigerator door, holding that dangerous-looking bottle of green liquid.

"Not yet, my dear!" he cried, pointing at her. "Now go get dressed! We're goin' out tonight!"

Harley did not need to be told twice. Up the stairs, she flew into the bedroom where she threw on the skirt, the stockings, the belt, the top, her stolen suspenders. But once she was dressed, five minutes later, she stared at her bare feet and her somewhat lacking shoe selection with a frown on her face. She had a feeling she would need to run and yet, tennis shoes would not look very good with this outfit.

Just when she was about to give up, a box in the back corner of the closet with her name on it caught her eye. She opened it hastily only to gasp at the sight of its contents. Inside, lay a large, heavy, black, circus ring-leader style jacket, complete with coat tails. Shiny silver buttons accented the front and sleeves perfectly and she slipped it on, amazed with how warm it was already. There were no tags on this coat, but she didn't care where it came from. Joker had given it to her apparently and she already loved it.

Underneath the jacket lay a pair of knee- high, black leather boots in her exact shoe size and Harley shook her head with a laugh as she slipped them on. Joker never ceased to astound her with the random information he could dig up on a person completely unbeknownst to them.

Harley checked her full reflection in the mirror but frowned at the sight of her naked face. Whatever chaos they had planned for that evening, she was sure people would be involved and she really did not want anybody to recognize her, especially Jim Gordon, whom she had met on more than one occasion before joining forces with Joker. But then again, she did not have any grease makeup of her own and she did not think that Joker would really want to share with her, so she shrugged and headed downstairs after tying her hair into high pigtails.

Downstairs, Joker looked up from a duffle bag as Harley entered the room and he sighed, standing up. "Harley, we gotta cover your face, doll. I can't have you getting recognized." He said and Harley rolled her eyes with a slight laugh as she trudged back upstairs, following Joker into the bathroom. "I know you're about to thank me for the jacket and shoes, right?" he asked with an arched eyebrow as she sat down on the tiled counter and swung her legs back and forth playfully.

"Of course, baby. Thank you so much." She cooed, but jumped as Joker came at her with a sponge of white grease paint. It was cold to her skin but felt like mud as he spread it around until it formed a thin, complete layer over her face, eyes and ears. She opened her eyes once he had finished that step only to find that he was grinning. "What's so funny?" she asked but Joker ignored her and wiggled two fingers at her.

"Close 'em." He grunted and she obeyed, shutting her eyes so he could dab black makeup onto her eyelids and underneath. This step did not take very long and once he was done, he handed her the compact of red makeup. "Do your lips yourself. I seem to have issues with aim." Both laughed as he grinned widely, showing off the two messy lines of red makeup covering his scars on either side of his face.

Joker watched Harley apply the red makeup to her lips in a light coat and he had to refrain from reaching up and touching his own lip. Harley's were so proportionate and smooth, beautifully formed to pout just enough to give her a cute, sultry look all the time. He ran his tongue along the scars on the inside of his mouth, trying to remember what it felt like before they were there. But there was no time for reminiscing, especially when there were much more fun things to be doing at that point in time. Harley was done so he stood her up from the counter and turned her around to face the mirror, holding her in front of him. He rested his chin on the top of her head.

Harley could do nothing but stare at herself. She looked like a completely different person in that makeup but in a way, she liked it. With the makeup on, she could step outside of herself and be whoever she wanted to be.

"What a cute couple we make." Joker was saying, grinning at her in the mirror as they stood there but a loud shout from downstairs tore them from admiring themselves. "Let's go!"

"Fellas, this is Miss Harley Quinn. Treat her as you treat me." Enough said. Harley followed her man outside where nine extremely fast-looking motorcycles sat in a diamond formation. Joker walked to the head of the pack and swung his leg over the bike there, settling onto it with the tail of his purple coat trailing off the back. He leaned over and patted the bike next to him while looking pointedly at Harley.

The rest of the guys were mounting the bikes but Joker called to one of them. "Jane, bring me those four bags." He barked as Harley climbed onto the bike next to him. She could see the bottle of green liquid bulging from an inside pocket of his jacket and she wondered what exactly that was. She hoped he divulged soon. Her gun was tucked safely into the inside pocket of her own jacket and she couldn't help but feel a little blood-thirsty as the warm metal sat against her body.

The man named 'Jane' had come over with the bags and was handing two of them to Harley. They weren't that heavy but it was easy to tell that whatever was in there, there was a lot of it. She watched Joker strategically drape the bags over his shoulders so they couldn't come off while they rode and she mimicked him, still awaiting the plan.

"Alright, boys. You know what to do." He said, glancing behind at the guys on bikes as he kicked his motorcycle to life and waited for Harley to do the same.

"What are we going to do?" she finally asked as all the bikes roared to life and Joker leaned over, unzipping one of her bags. Harley's eyes widened as she saw that all four bags were absolutely stuffed with grenades.

Joker smirked, staring out along the dark alley. "You and me, Harley?" he began. "We're gonna blow this fucking town apart. You mentioned something along the lines of 'coming out with a bang' so… here we go."

The sound of the bikes as they made their way down to the main street was muffled by the thick brick walls on either side, but as she and Joker reached the end of the alley way, he called over to her. "Follow me, Harley. When we reach Fletcher, that's the end of our route so make sure you're watching me." He turned, watching the guys as they sped from between him and Harley, each of them going a different direction from that alley. Harley was guessing they were the backup to make sure nobody got in the way, like the police or even better, Batman.

Harley followed Joker out onto the street and found that suddenly her heart was racing as their bikes sputtered and revved. Beside her, Joker took a grenade from one of his bags, brought it to his mouth and pulled the pin with his teeth. Harley stared open-mouthed as he tossed the now live grenade between his hands before pulling back and throwing it through the window of a nearby shop. His bike sped off and Harley followed, both bikes gaining speed rapidly.

The explosion that followed nearly took Harley's breath away but the strength of it was exhilarating as it resonated through her body. She laughed loudly over the sound of the bikes and confused shouts behind them. Her hand blindly grabbed the top grenade as her pigtails whipped about her face. Copying The Joker, she brought it to her teeth and tugged hard only for the pin to come out just as it happened before and Harley threw the grenade under a passing car. Seconds later, she and Joker erupted into cackles as the car blew up behind them.

Screams were now beginning to erupt through the street they were on but Joker and Harley were going too fast at this point to enjoy them. Cars were going up, stores were being blown out and several times Joker threw the grenade in the middle of a throng of people, laughing maniacally as he watched them scatter.

"God, I missed this!" he shouted to Harley, who was now nearly half-way through her first bag of grenades. The city was in full-fledged panic and far off, police and fire truck sirens could be heard. As they turned onto Gotham's main street, Joker pulled a small black box from his coat pocket and spoke into it, now driving the speeding motorcycle with one hand. Harley glanced behind her as the sirens grew louder and found that four or five police cars were chasing them and gaining speed.

"Joker!" Harley shouted, lobbing another grenade behind her. "They're here!"

Joker leaned forward on his bike, squinting. As they sped past an alley, another bike shot out from behind them, trailing a long track of metal spikes on the ground. Both Harley and Joker turned briefly on their bikes to watch as the tires on the police cars blew out and the cars piled up in the intersection. The two burst out into crazed laughter as a helicopter appeared overhead, its search light trained on them.

"Harley, watch!" Joker shouted and as the bikes rode out onto a large, open intersection, he sped out in front of her, circling, while pulling the bottle of green liquid from his jacket. A piece of material hung through the top and Joker lit it before throwing it on the ground behind him. The asphalt erupted into green flames and spread out along the ground until a massive, flaming message sprawled out on the pavement. Harley looked behind her to see what it said but Joker shouted at her.

"Harley!" She looked ahead and found that Joker shot down a dark, narrow alley so she followed, her chest heaving and her sides hurting from laughing. Joker had disappeared into the dark, having turned off the lights on his bike but Harley could hear the faint rumbling of the exhaust a few yards in front of her. When she caught up, he was pushing aside a chain link fence to reveal a steep hill on the other side that dipped into a ditch. It was dark back here and the grass was high. The sound of their bikes would be muffled perfectly. Joker leaned over the edge, peering down, the black rings around his eyes stretched with his expression.

"Gee, Harley, it's pretty steep. Are you sure you want to go down there?" he asked, and for a moment or two, Harley gawked, trying to decide if he was being sarcastic or not but police sirens from the other end of the alley tore her from her thoughts.

"Fucking go, you asshole!" She shouted, waving her arms, but as she did this, a light shined in Joker's face from down the alley and a gun was fired.

To Harley, it felt as though someone had blown on her hand, but in some horrific, sort of laughable moment, she realized that had been the bullet just barely missing her fingers. "Wow! That was close!" she exclaimed with a shout of laughter to Joker who nodded in agreement as Harley reached inside her jacket and pulled from it her signature gun. Two cops were approaching but Harley had aimed and pulled the trigger twice before they could even blink.


	17. Mourning and Darkest of Knights

It was two o'clock in the morning and Jim Gordon was not happy. In fact, he was furious and as he slammed the third door on his way to the conference room. He cursed rather loudly to himself through gritted teeth. Of all the nights for The Joker to come out of hiding, it had to be this one. He had been having a particularly good dream after a particularly good day, involving his youngest son's fourth birthday party. And to be called at one-thirty in the morning to the news of Joker's latest display put him in a very foul mood. _And where the hell was Batman? _ Just a few more steps…

"Can someone explain to me," Commissioner Gordon yelled as he threw open the door to the large conference room. "How The Joker, a known escaped murderer rode down Main lobbing hand grenades… and he is STILL MISSING?!" His fist came down on the wood of the podium as he stared around at the police officers and swat team members of Gotham before him.

A young policeman near the front named Burg spoke up. "He was going at least a hundred miles an hour, Commissioner." Then another policeman at the back of the room spoke.

"And not only that, there were like twenty other guys in clown masks on bikes following them, shooting out tires, shooting at _people_. And now, Commissioner, Joker has a girlfriend named Harley." He said in a daunting voice, his eyebrows raised.

The room fell quiet for a moment as if allowing Commissioner Gordon a moment to think. His eyes fell to his faux-notes and in some fleeting moment of clarity he realized who his first suspect would have to be. _C'Mon, Joker… That was a little too obvious. _He looked out over Gotham's finest from behind his black rimmed glasses with a sigh. "Well, what kind of information do we have on her? What did you see of her?"

Throughout the room a dull rumble of mutterings broke out between the officers and Jim Gordon frowned, his moustache bristling dangerously close to his bottom lip. "What seems to be funny about this, gentlemen?" he asked.

A red faced policeman at his left said, "Sorry, Commissioner. It's… well… She was _hot…_" Murmurs went up again but from the look on Jim Gordon's face, he was not amused, so he continued. "But from the looks of it, she had long, blonde hair and long legs and she was wearing this skirt and stockings and a black…" His voice trailed off as Jim Gordon held up a hand.

The room grew quiet but the legs of a chair in the back of the room could be heard scraping the ground as an older, grey headed policeman stood up. "Commissioner, The Joker's _girlfriend_, Harley Quinn, shot two of my oldest friends from this police force tonight."

Every face in the room fell to the ground and Commissioner Gordon felt as though he had been punched in the chest. There was no hiding his grief this time as he rested his elbows on the podium and buried his face into his hands. Immediately, in that breathtaking moment, he realized they were now hunting not only Joker but Dr. Harleen Quinzel and her demons. AKA: _Harley Quinn._

Joker and Harley burst into the Henderson House as though someone were expecting them, laughing loudly about something he had said. "And did you see the cop cars all pile up? God, that was brilliant timing." Harley replied, plopping down on the couch as Joker took off his coat. He smirked, tossing it onto the couch next to Harley before leaning down and placing one soft kiss on her lips.

"It was, wasn't it?" He murmured against her lips and Harley practically melted into the couch. Her lips formed another kiss against his and before long their little pecks of affection had turned into deep, passionate kisses. Joker knelt down, sliding one of his purple gloved hands behind her neck. Harley leaned closer, craving more as his tongue touched hers but before she could take their kiss further, Joker was standing up, holding out his hand.

"C'mon." He said with a jerk of his head toward the stairs. So she followed him up the creaky, narrow staircase and shut the bedroom door behind them as soon as both were inside.

"That really was so much fun." Harley said as she sat on the bed once she had taken off her black coat and hung it up in the closet. Joker turned from removing his green waistcoat to let his eyes wander over Harley. He frowned to himself as he turned again. It was so unfair the sort of thoughts Harley made him think, the sort of sensations she produced within him. He hated how easily she turned him on and how slowly but surely she was memorizing the little things that turned him into an animal.

At the moment, Harley Quinn was watching him undress from the foot of the bed, her stocking-covered feet dangling a foot or so from the ground. As her man turned, tugging off his tie, she grinned, her tongue teasingly gliding along her top lip. Her eyes then followed his hands as they began unbuttoning his shirt, revealing more and more of the man underneath.

"Harley, it's not polite to stare." He warned, stepping over until he stood between her knees at the end of the bed. "So ya better stop looking at me… like… that." His eyes flickered over Harley's long frame and she arched her eyebrows, leaning back on her elbows to look up at Joker as he towered over her. His shirt was halfway undone and Harley eyed the skin underneath longingly.

"Or what?" Her lips curled into a sexy grin and she gasped as Joker's hand flew to her throat. He applied pressure, lowering her to her back on the bed as he climbed up, settling on his knees between her thighs.

"Or I'll have to come over here and teach you a lesson or two about dirty looks." His other hand found her thigh at his hip and he moved his hand along the smooth skin here. Her skirt was much shorter from this angle and Joker kept his grip on her throat tight as he slid his hand underneath it. Her underwear was paper thin and as Joker fingered the strap of it, he found that he was in no mood for foreplay this evening. The events of the night and the rush of the chase had wound him up and there was definitely some aggression tucked away that he needed to release.

Harley was watching him admire her underpants with a grin as she gripped his wrist with her hands. "Joker, it's not polite to stare." She sassed hoarsely and Joker looked up, blinking as he registered her sarcastic comment. He grabbed her hips a moment later and rolled her over onto her stomach.

"How about you work on not being such a smart-ass and I'll fuck you cross-eyed in the meantime." He murmured and Harley rose up onto her knees, arching her back with a cat-like purr. That was exactly the sort of response she had been hoping to get from him. Her underwear had been pulled to the side and Harley was moaning into the bed as he gripped her hips from behind. In one movement, Joker was lost again.

The bed creaked quietly in time with Joker's breathing and it wasn't long before Harley was whimpering, her fingers curling around two handfuls of blanket. There was something more forceful, aggressive about his 'love-making' this time and Harley cried out in blissful pain as he continued to rock into her. And then The Joker rolled his eyes. It wasn't as if he was not enjoying this because believe him, he was. The only problem was that Joker, as a human being, loved the ability of facial expression and the way the eyes give away emotions.

In this particular position, all he could look at was her back. He wanted to see her face, to see the way she would cringe but then open her eyes and grin up at him. She would look up at him with those green eyes and it suddenly became hard to think straight, to process anything except staring back at her. If he stared hard enough and lost enough of himself within Harley's eyes, he would be taken back to a time in his mind where the hair in his face was not green but dirty blonde, there were no scars, no makeup running in his eyes. And then Harley would moan and he would fly back to the present. It was an awkward feeling to feel so weakened by this Harley Quinn and her green eyes.

In the present however, Joker was growing bored, so he paused and leaned over Harley's back where he bit her shoulder somewhat hard. Harley winced with a breathless grin but understood what he meant so she turned over to lay on her back. Joker grunted a laugh, gazing at her half-lidded eyes as her long legs wrapped around his slender hips. "Just so ya know, babes, you were pretty kick-ass tonight too." He said and Harley moaned with a smile as he filled her again.

Harley could remember glancing at the display on Joker's stolen phone for the time as she had walked to the bathroom earlier and she could remember it saying '3:15AM.' Now, she was not sure what time it was but a strange pain in her left shoulder woke her from a dead sleep on her stomach in the middle of Joker's bed. As she groggily came to consciousness, the pain began to worsen and sharpen in the very middle of her shoulder but then she realized someone was straddling her back and twisting her arm. As she whimpered into her pillow, the person atop her giggled through his nose and she realized who it was.

"Ow… Stop..." she groaned, but yelped in pain as Joker twisted just a half-centimeter more. He was not speaking or laughing and Harley had learned already that a silent Joker is much more dangerous than a laughing Joker. He did not stop but instead twisted her arm as far as it would go without breaking it and shoved something cold and metal in her face. Harley screamed and turned her face the other way. Joker remained silent but grabbed a fistful of her hair and forced her to face the metal object.

"Look at it, Harley" His voice was quiet and deadly and Harley whimpered, shaking her head 'no' into the pillow. He tightened his grip on her soft hair and placed more of his weight on her back, keeping her pinned to the bed. "Look at it, Harley!" he shouted.

So Harley opened her eyes to what she thought were about to be her last moments but then found that Joker was holding his pocket watch in her face. She rested her head on the pillow, closing her eyes.

"Why the _fuck_ did you have this in your jacket?" he asked tersely and leaned down over her, placing his face next to hers on the pillow, still twisting her arm. Harley whimpered in pain but cleared her throat and spoke loudly.

"The day I got your gun, Joker, it was in the safe. I was so excited to tell you about it I forgot it was in there. Honestly!"

Joker hesitated, scowling at her eyes, searching for lies but replied. "I don't like thinking I've been robbed, Harley. That's a very bad feeling to someone like me." He said in her face. "So next time you have something important of mine, don't fucking forget you have it." He glared her for a moment or two before releasing her arm and sliding from the room.

He ventured down the stairs, seething. It had been a huge relief to find that watch, since for months now he thought it had been lost during the transfer from Gordon's cage to Arkham. He let it dangle in his hand as he trudged out the door into the chilly, earliest and darkest hours of Gotham's mornings. It was nearing four o'clock and nobody was around so he stepped onto the sidewalk and started walking, his hands in his pockets, his eyes fixed dead ahead. And he walked for several minutes until a particularly interesting dark alley caught his eye. So he took a right down the alley and found that it was perfectly empty and seemed to lead to the back of a few stores.

It was lucky he wasn't wearing his purple coat for halfway down the alley, some massive, invisible object fell in front of Joker. But to him, there was no mistaking who this was. "What a-" he began loudly with a flourish the second Batman had hit the ground, but a split second later, the masked man threw a punch and sent Joker to his back in a puddle of dirty, muddy water. He laughed, licking a dot of blood from the corners of his lips as he stood, holding up his hand.

"Although it's wonderful to see you after our little hiatus, Batsy, I'm not currently doing anything wrong." He said but suddenly swung and hit Batman across the jaw, sending him back a few paces. "So we really should stop this fighting nonsense." He finished and wiped a few specks of Batblood off his knuckles on his vest. The Joker was in no mood to deal with this pestilence with wings. Give him a nap and he could show Batman a good fight, but at the moment, he was cranky and irritable after finding the watch and he just wanted to be alone.

Batman stood quickly, his eyes fixed on Joker as he circled. He knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that the hand in Joker's pocket was clenching an incredibly sharp knife so he kept his distance, but focused all of his attention on his adversary."You see, I'm really not in the mood for this, buddy, and if I fight you right now, I might end up killing you." He held out his arms, his gloved hands spread wide. "And I don't wanna kill ya, Batman!" He took a step closer and for a moment, he and Batman stood eye to eye and stared at each other.

"She's getting to know you too well, right?" Batman growled quietly and Joker threw his arms in the air excitedly.

"You've heard of her!" He grinned cheekily. "… Cute, isn't she?"

"She's starting to know too much about you and it's making you anxious." Batman said but stiffened as Joker paused, cocking his head to the side before suddenly shoving him into the brick wall.

"What are you, my fucking therapist?" he bristled like an angry dog, coming at Batman again with a fist only for the masked man to throw off the punch and bring back another one, knocking Joker back a few feet. The clown stumbled but did not fall and instead straightened back up, clicking the hammer of his gun into place as he held it in Batman's face. The fist fight had officially ended and Joker's patience was at its ultimate end. "It's awfully nosy of you to say such a thing about me and my dear Harley, but I'll let it slide." Joker sneered down the barrel of the gun at Batman's eyes on the other end.

Batman remained still, staring at Joker. He knew he wasn't going to kill him, but still he kept quiet and motionless; Joker was infamous for changing his mind quickly and randomly. He raised his eyebrows, stretching the faded paint on his face. "So you just flutter on home, Batsy, and we can go our separate ways until fate brings you running back to me." He laughed and stepped away, holding out his arm as if bowing.

Batman watched Joker saunter away, still holding the gun at his side, but somehow both knew that he was not going to chase him. There was no point. Joker was not going to come quietly, especially when he was in such a bad mood and not only this, but he had a gun or possibly three. Batman did not underestimate The Joker. So he grunted frustrated and shot a small grappling hook up toward the top of the building on one side of the alley and waited for it set securely before hauling himself up.

The east edges of the Gotham sky had started to pinken and brighten when Harley crept from her and Joker's room. He had been gone for nearly an hour and the bed was a little too empty for her taste. Her shoulder still ached dully to its core and she winced, massaging it as she walked out into the hallway to look down the stairs. The living room was empty so she started lurking, looking in each Joker-less room until she reached the stairwell that led to the roof. She had only discovered this feature to the house the other day while Joker had been out and as she reached for the slightly ajar door, she figured this would be the end to her search…

…And it was. The back to an old arm chair faced her from the opposite side of the roof but she could not tell if someone was sitting in it or not. If it was Joker and he didn't know she was there, she should make herself known so not to sneak up on him. Harley took a few steps toward the chair then noticed a faint trail of grey smoke billow into the air from the other side of it. She advanced further now but stopped mid-step a few feet from the chair as Joker spoke. "Go away, Harley."

The air around the chair reeked of cigarette smoke. Harley paused, frowning. "I just wanted to make sure you were-" She stopped speaking immediately as the shiny barrel of a gun appeared in Joker's gloved hand around the edge of the chair. He peered around the edge, looking up at her as he cocked the hammer. "Go away, Harley." He repeated himself placidly, simply blinking up at her as she stared at him.

So she did and Joker watched her retreating backside from the edge of the chair until she disappeared. His cigarette was nearly done and as he sat there, he let his thumb lazily stroke the silver casing of his pocket watch. As much as he hated to admit it, as much as it physically pained him to say it, Batman was right. Harley was starting to learn a lot about Joker. He was musing to himself but his eyes grew wide and his head cocked to the side as a thought occurred him. That was exactly the point. Harley only knew The Joker; not the man who became The Joker. And that's how he liked it. _So… Batman was wrong. _He thought smartly to himself as he flicked his cigarette over the railing to the street below.


	18. Remember To Let Her Under Your Skin

**Author's Note:**People, I know that The Joker's name was Jack Napier. **I know this**. So, there's no need to tell me. This story does not follow the comics or cartoons hardly at all. This is my own version of things so if you're expecting a traditional Joker and Harley vs. Batman comic book fiction, you're looking in the wrong place. Thanks again to my Beta reader and every body who has been reading and reviewing. Your ideas and constructive criticism help more than you know.

Harley looked up from her dinner of soup in front of the television as Joker entered the house that evening and she grinned as he knelt down to place a kiss on the side of her head. "Hello, dear." He said.

"Hey, baby. Cleared your head?" she asked, trying to ignore the fact that her shoulder still ached and now butterflies were zooming around her tummy. He had been gone all day she was assuming since this was the first time she had seen him since early that morning, smoking in his chair. And if she admitted it fairly, she had really done nothing all day but sit around and wonder where he was. Sure, she went for a walk or two but mostly thought of him and wondered when he was coming home. Now that he was here, it was like seeing him for the first time in months.

"Yes." He replied, sitting next to her on the couch while taking her bowl of steaming hot soup from her to place it on the makeshift table. He sighed with slight grin and took her hands gently in his. "Darling, I realize I was a bit moody earlier." Harley's lips were splitting into a huge smile already… Was he about to actually _apologize?_ He continued.

"But, I'd like a chance to make it up to you. Go get dressed and meet me back down here. I have a surprise for my lady." He leaned forward placing one kiss on her lips lightly before she jumped up and disappeared up the stairs, looking excited. Snickering quietly to himself, Joker stood and walked into the kitchen to start loading a few cartridges of bullets… just in case.

Tonight was Harley's final, conclusive test. If she did not crack under the magnitude of the next events, he would know for sure that she was finally his and that she would remain such for a while. She had passed the first, grenade test with flying colors but tonight was Joker's final exam and he could only hope she would pass.

Ten minutes elapsed and Harley bounced down the stairs, tying her last pigtail into place. "Ready?" she asked excitedly and Joker nodded his response.

"You look exquisite, Harley." Commented Joker, as he held the passenger side door open to her and she got in, smiling up at her man even though she couldn't tell if he was joking or not from the tone of his voice.

"What's the deal? Where are we going?" she asked but he shook his head in response.

"I can't tell you or it wouldn't be a surprise, now would it?" he raised his eyebrows with a smirk while Harley pouted, her bottom lip stuck out. "Aw, Harley. We'll be there soon." And with a laugh, he shut the door and got in on the driver's side.

As they backed out of the alley, Harley frowned, looking about her car. It had been a week or so since she had been in it last and she was surprised to see that Joker was trying to keep it nice on the inside for her. There were a couple stains on the carpet here and there but for the most part, it was immaculate, save for a few empty bullet boxes on the floor. The CD player was turned down so, out of curiosity, she turned it up only for an old Beatles song to come crooning through the speakers.

"_Hey, Jude…Don't let me down. You have found her, now go and get her. Remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better."_

Harley laughed, looking up at Joker. This was not a CD she had owned. "You like the Beatles?" she asked, amazed to find that he actually had a preference for something normal. After living with him for a month, she had gotten no closer to knowing anything about the man behind The Joker and this tiny little tidbit of information on him excited her.

"Yeah." He replied simply and Harley's anticipatory expression faded into a frown.

"Well… What do you like about them?" she probed, hoping he wasn't about to leave her with just that small fact. Joker paused in his answer, his forehead wrinkling his makeup as he frowned slightly.

"I dunno. It's calming." Harley resisted the urge to laugh out loud and instead remained silent. Something was calming to The Joker?

"I like them too." She commented. "But I don't really like this song about Jude. I never understood it." Harley watched Joker's face as he frowned and opened his mouth to speak but closed it again and remained quiet. _Damn._ she thought. _So close._

Her eyes gazed unfocused out the window as they sped along and as more and more familiar surroundings passed, she started to realize that they were zooming along the interstate, toward the outer limits of Gotham, where most residential neighborhoods were and where Arkham stood. Harley's stomach churned uncomfortably at the thought, but she ignored it, going back to her business of staring out the window.

"_I've just seen a face,_

_I can't forget the time or place_

_where we just met._

_She's just the girl for me_

_and I want all the world to see_

_we've met…mmmmmm…"_

Joker glanced over at Harley as the car took the exit ramp off the interstate and frowned. No, he couldn't tell her yet. They had a job to do tonight and if he told her the truth, it may distract her from the task at hand. As soon as it was over, if she passes the test, he told himself, he would tell her. So as hard as it was, he kept it shut and resigned himself to driving.

"_Falling, yes I am falling._

_And she keeps calling_

_Me back again…"_

The car was bouncing along the dirt road outside of Arkham Asylum and Harley gasped, sitting up in the seat as the huge, white building loomed up in front of them. "We're not gonna…" she looked to her man beside her as he pulled off the road out into the large field that ran behind the asylum.

"Yes, we are. But first we're going to go visit an old friend of mine." He giggled, getting out of the car, motioning for Harley to do the same.

Along the back of the building, there stood a huge fenced in enclosure where the inner, electrical workings of Arkham were housed and Joker walked over to it before using the butt of his gun to break the two padlocks that enforced the enclosure. While he disappeared into the metal walls of switches, cords and buttons, Harley stood guard, thinking to herself that this could possibly be a horrible idea. Anyone in the building could call the police while they were doing dirty work and then they would come without Harley and Joker even knowing. They could be waiting outside for them when they come out!

But Joker had returned, so Harley snapped out of her doubts to follow him. "What did you just do?" She asked lightly.

"I cut the cords for the phones and silent alarm. That way we won't have any surprise guests." He replied and Harley grinned to herself, trailing him around the side of the building. "Now what we need to do is get in." At the back corner of the building, was a fire exit and as the two stood in front of it, Joker turned slowly to Harley. "I know you know how to get in this door. I saw you do it one morning when you were late." He said, watching as Harley turned the knob slowly only to find that it was surprisingly open. Of course, if she just threw the door open at this point, the alarm could go off. So she knelt, picking up a thick twig.

"When I pull the door open, you're tall so you have to poke the sensor at the top with this so it can't tell the door's been opened." She whispered and Joker took the branch, ready to do his part.

As Harley slowly pulled the door open, she shut her eyes… praying it wasn't about to go off…

Several floors later, as she and Joker ran up the stairs quietly, he stopped at level four and walked over to the door, peering out through the window. "Here." He said as Harley walked over. "Follow me. And remember, do whatever it is I tell you to do. No questions."

The hallway was empty but a few doors down from the stairs stood a lone office, the name on the door reading 'Dr. Gary Chapman. M.D. Psychologist.' Harley took a step back from the printed glass, gazing up at Joker as he turned to look down at her. "Joker…"

"Harley, this man turned six years of your life into living hell... and three months of mine!" He said quietly, glancing around. "C'mon… Help me kill 'im…Please?" He held out his purple-gloved hand and Harley took it with a sigh.

"Alright, Joker."

Now with her approval, he turned and threw the door open to reveal Dr. Chapman already confined to a chair, tied by the ankles, wrists and middle to it. His eyes flew to Joker and he whimpered against his gag. Harley stood in the back of the room, in shadow to watch her man doing what he does best.

"I'm back, Doc. Did you miss me?" he asked, walking to behind Dr. Chapman's chair. "I know I was a little hard to recognize in the guard outfit earlier, but am I identifiable now?" Dr. Chapman's forehead was broken out into a terrified sweat. "No? Shame. I brought my beautiful lady tonight, Doc. Maybe you recognize her?"

Harley stepped out from the shadows, sauntering out into the dim light of the office and she watched as the doctor's eyes grew wide. She could see the tears in them but she looked away to Joker to avoid having to see him. It was one thing to kill someone she didn't know but this man, she had been familiar with for six years, seen him every day for six years. But the coldness in her heart was thrilling and overpowering.

"I don't think he recognizes me, Joker." She said playfully, knowing full well that he did, and she walked behind the doctor's chair. Her hands rested on his shoulders. "Which is a shame, seeing as to how I saw you nearly every day." Her nails dug in to his flesh and he groaned. "So you should know exactly who I am, Dr. Chapman."

Joker stood a little ways off, watching this all happen with a deep, evil grin on his face._ Perfect._ "I am Harley Quinn, Dr. Chapman. You may remember me as Harleen Quinzel. But she's dead. You and Dr. Sullivan and everyone else in this hell hole killed her. She reported to you every day." Harley's voice was becoming shaky with suppressed anger and she gripped the doctor's shoulders more tightly. "I brought you your fucking coffee every day. Told you exactly what you wanted to hear. Worked my fingers to the bone for you!" she shouted and suddenly threw the chair and Dr. Chapman to the floor. He cried out against his gag as he landed awkwardly on his side, still tied to the chair.

"And do you remember those little notes my Joker left in his cell the day he broke free?" she shouted as she sank to her knees, pushing her face close to the man on the floor and her hand slid into the pocket of her jacket. Joker's eyes followed her every movement, loving every second of this. "Well, he was right. Harley and Joker forever. And anyone who opposes such a union should speak now or FOREVER hold his peace."

Joker's jaw fell open as Harley pulled a knife from her pocket and pulled back before driving it to the handle in Dr. Chapman's neck… once, twice, three times and she was splattered in his blood.

The dark red liquid was spilling onto the carpet as Harley stood up and sighed. "That wasn't so hard." She muttered, staring down at the lifeless doctor on the floor while Joker stepped over to her, placing his hands on her arms.

"And I didn't tell you to do a single thing." He kissed the back of her head lightly before he suddenly realized that time was running out. With a toss of his arm, he looked at the watch on his wrist before running to the door. He had been so distracted, so enthralled with watching Harley kill that he had completely forgotten the place was rigged to blow in two minutes.

"Ok, Harley. We have to get downstairs in two minutes or else we're confetti. C'mon."

Once the two had reached the car, they got in and Joker floored the car in reverse toward the edge of a clearing of trees, hoping he could get them away before the building went sky high and crushed them or incinerated them.

"Harley," he called as he stepped out of the car once they had retreated to safety and he held his arm out to her. "Throw me the camera in the back seat."

She obeyed, handing him the small video camera before sitting on the hood of the car. It had been incredible to her that they hadn't been caught yet. She had been yelling in Dr. Chapman's office and yet the building did not stir. That had been far too easy. And Joker had already been there? _Does he purposely make things simple and easy for me?_ No police sirens or lights in the distance, no panic from anywhere else and yet here she and Joker were, out in a field, ready to blow Arkham to the high heavens. From beside her, Harley could hear Joker counting under his breath.

"Five…four…three…-"

Harley's mouth fell open and her hands flew to her ears as explosions around the base of the massive, white, stone building before them ripped the night air and in mere moments, the building was ablaze and tumbling to the ground. As much as she wanted this to be her turning back moment-- the moment when she realized the extent of her insanity, the moment when she ran toward the building, the moment when she turned herself in along with the Joker-- she laughed… and laughed hard.

Joker was beside her, taping the whole thing, hysterical with loud, obnoxious laughter and she joined him as he held the camera out in front of himself. "Here ya go, Gotham!" he was saying to the lens. "Next time, it could be a school, or a church. Or maybe even the police department, who knows?! But be ready for it. Cuz it's comin.' And if Batman tries to stop me, the key word here being 'try', I'll kill the mayor AND Jim Gordon and his wife Lisa and children, Tommy and Paul." He spun on the spot, still gazing up at the camera. "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." He said in his best sing-song, clowny voice and laughed before turning the camera off.

As they sped away toward the interstate, six police cars with screaming sirens, going at least seventy miles an hour passed them and Joker waved, laughing to himself.

Upstairs at the Henderson House, twenty minutes later, Harley jumped into Joker's arms, wrapping her legs around his middle. She beamed down at her man as he shook some of his green hair away from his face with a sigh. "Harley, I gotta tell ya something." He said and set her down on the bed before awkwardly shifting in his stance as he stood in front of her. He couldn't believe he was about to do this. It was completely against everything Joker stood for and if he had any sense left in his entire body, he would say never mind.

"Go ahead. I'm all ears." She replied, giggling as she dangled her feet playfully from the edge of the bed. But as Joker looked down at her, her grin disappeared. He looked different, suddenly vulnerable and timid and Harley's smile turned into a frown. She had never seen this side of her man before and she wasn't sure if she liked it or not. Joker was always strong. "What's wrong, baby?" she asked, reaching out a hand to touch him only for him to jerk his arm away and take a step back.

"I have to tell you something…" he repeated but finally turned and sighed, his face bereft of expression. "My name comes from that Beatles song..." he put first.

"Joker? It does?" she asked incredulously but Joker groaned, rolling his eyes.

"No, Harley! My name…" the red painted line on his cheeks did not even twitch toward a smile but as realization dawned on Harley's face, Joker could feel the urge to run begin to creep up on him. Instead, he stayed and continued. "My name is Jude, Harley. My mom named me after that song."

The room fell absolutely silent as Harley open-mouth stared at him. Joker's blood pressure was rising fast and he took a few awkward, pacing steps through the room. "Well, there ya go. That's me." He was muttering as he took of his coat when in all honesty, he seriously wanted to run from the house and never look back, pretend he hadn't just told her his true name. _Nobody_ knew his name.

With his back to her, it was much easier to hang up his clothes without having to look at her but as a gentle hand touched his shoulder blade, he turned, looking down at her. "Yes?" he asked, wondering whether the grin on Harley's face was a good sort of smile or a bad one. She held out her hand. "It's nice to finally meet you, Jude. I'm Harleen."


	19. Equals

Two angry, brown eyes glared back at Joker as he stood in front of the bathroom mirror, early the next morning. _What the fuck is your problem, huh?_ He kept asking himself, each time, his frown deepening slightly. The entire night, he had lay there awake, staring at the ceiling, Harley asleep on his chest with his arm around her. Several times, as he thought about his actions and thought about what had possibly possessed him to tell her his name, he got the urge to push Harley out of the bed. It seemed every time he came to a resolution in his mind about her and about his limits with her, she would do something adorable in her sleep, like sigh or whimper, or hug him a little tighter. Now, as he stood barefaced, in a towel before himself, he shook his head, sighing.

"You're letting her get to ya, pal." He murmured to his reflection but cleared his throat, straightening up like a ten year old boy in a mirror, putting on a serious face. He had to stay focused. Harley was still just a toy at this point, even if she was starting to grow on him.

He went back into the bedroom to get dressed and found that Harley was awake, laying on her side, looking like an angel. "Good morning, Jude." She cooed, grinning as she blinked sleepily but instead of slapping her like he wanted to, he ignored her, buttoning his shirt with his back to her, silently. He could practically hear Harley's frown. "Hey, why wont you talk to me?"

Joker turned, buttoning his sleeves. "Because that's not my name anymore. I'm The Joker and you're gonna call me Joker until I decide otherwise." He snapped, leaning down until he was right in her face and Harley stared at his eyes. Something was wrong.

As he left the room without another word, Harley flipped onto her stomach, burying her face in the fluffy, purple comforter. The night before, after hearing his name, Harley had been so excited, she hadn't even thought to wonder if he were telling the truth or not. But as things progressed, she found she hadn't needed to. His entire persona had been changed. His voice, his expression and with his face bare of makeup, it was like having sex with a different person altogether… named Jude. He had been so gentle and slow, kissing her collarbones, his arms fit under her back, holding her close, whispering sweet words in her ear. As Harley had reached her peak, her hands fisted up into his green hair and she whimpered "Oh, Jude" against his lips. The soft groan that had followed, from Joker, was not one entirely of pleasure, but was mingled with underlying tones of mental anguish. Now, he would hardly even look at her.

Downstairs, once she had composed herself, Harley sat at the small table across from Joker as he read the newspaper, looking very irritated. She stared at him. His makeup was fresh and as he read, he scowled at the newspaper as though it had offended him in some huge way. The corner of his mouth twitched as he turned the page and went back to pretending Harley wasn't there.

"Why are you ignoring me?" she practically whimpered, her chin rested in the palm of her hand as she threw her best puppy eyes at him. But he did not even look at her and instead continued to ignore her as he was very obviously enjoying the story about the destruction of Arkham the previous night. He hadn't told Harley that he let loose the members of the Maroni family last night before the explosion with a promise they would tell their boss who broke them out. Apparently, not even the police knew that half of the largest crime circle in Gotham was running free.

"Joker…" she whined, inching closer over the table. "How did you get your scars?" _Finally_, _a response…_She thought as he looked up slowly from the newspaper, his eyes meeting hers in a heavy stare. But in a movement she did not expect, the legs of Joker's chair scraped the floor as he stood quickly and backhanded Harley across the face so hard, she fell out of her seat, onto the carpet.

Her face and head were splitting in pain and she clutched her cheek with a sob as she lay there, suddenly aware that he was standing over her. "That's none of your business." He barked. "Just because I tell you something doesn't mean it's suddenly 'twenty-one questions', got it? So keep it shut and speak when spoken to today. We're robbing a bank tomorrow… And I can't have you asking useless questions and looking pathetic." He was talking down at her and he smirked. "It looks poorly on me, Harley… So get off your ass, get dressed and meet me down here. We have a lot of work to do." He walked away without another word and without another glance at the crying Harley on the floor.

Joker stepped out into the garage for no reason besides to escape from her annoying whimpers. He rested his arms on the car with a sigh. His hand actually stung still from the amount of force he had just struck her with but he couldn't help it. Her question had stung him like alcohol poured over an open wound. The previous night, he had dug open his scars but not the ones on his face. They were still there. Instead, he was bleeding from older, deeper scars that ran deep, right into the core of whoever The Joker claimed himself to be.

Harley sniffed at her reflection pathetically. There was already a bruise forming down her cheek and her head still rang from the power of the back of Joker's hand. But this was nothing to get all fussy about, she convinced herself. He was obviously in a bad mood today and didn't feel like being questioned so she would leave him alone. She would hardly speak to him or touch him all day. This was her resolve. And Harley was the type of person that made up their mind and it stayed that way.

As she made her way down the stairs twenty minutes later, her long blonde curls bounced at her shoulders and her red lips pouted beautifully. Her eyes were covered by sunglasses in an attempt to hide the bruise on her face and as she stepped into the living room, her heels clacked on the floor softly. Joker arched his eyebrow before he even looked up at her.

"And where may I ask are you going?" He said from the couch but Harley said nothing, stepping behind him to lean down and slide her car keys out of his coat pocket. Joker grabbed her hand in one of his and with the other clicked his knife into place, resting it against the skin of her wrist. But only when he looked up and saw the look on Harley's face and felt something metal against his neck did he realize she was _also_ holding a knife.

"Out." She replied, wrenching her wrist from his slightly slackened grip. And she did just that. The door slammed behind her as she got in the car and backed out of the driveway, the tires screeching faintly as she sped away.

Meanwhile, Joker was staring at the knife in his hand in a somewhat disbelieving way. Had Harley just won? Had she seriously just held a knife at his neck and gotten away? He stood up abruptly from the couch, pacing the room while one of his hands slid through his hair. It had been the shock. Harley had never done such a thing to him and yet today, she defied him in a huge way. All this time, Joker thought he had been training his killer pet, the one he could rely on to do his bidding all the time without a question. But from the look of things, he had created a demon nearly just as powerful as he. And now, he sat alone in an empty house while she was out doing who knows what.

Joker could not have this. Outside it was much cooler than in the stuffy Henderson House and he took a deep breath in through his nose as he cut down a back alley in broad daylight and sneaked along the wall. While he walked, his thoughts consolidated. His mind moved across Harley and into his own life where he meditated, watching his surroundings. This circumstance had all the needed elements to be considered lurking but was missing the main factor; Joker really wasn't up to no good. At this point in time, Joker was just a man in a purple suit out for a contemplative stroll.

Hours later, Joker glanced at his watch only to find that it was nearing time for the meeting he was hosting that evening and the sun was beginning to set. Harley should be home when he got there and that was a good feeling. But as he turned a corner to start walking back toward the House, flashing police lights caught his eyes up ahead and he slid along the dark walls of the alley toward the street at the end. Kneeling behind a garbage dumpster, he peered around it and felt an uncomfortable pang shoot through him. On the street, next to the curb closest to him, was Harley in her car, pulled over and talking to the officer at the window. Joker wanted to go and take care of things with the bullets resting in the chamber of his gun but he stayed put, remembering her defiance earlier. _If you're so tough, let's see you now._

"Ma'am, please step out of the car." The young police officer said, backing away from the door as Harley opened it and stood, grinning at him as she did this.

"What seems to be the problem?" she asked, walking to the back of her car as the officer motioned for her.

"Well, from the tags and registration from your car, this belongs to Harleen Quinzel. And she's been missing and is wanted for murder." He took a step forward, staring at her eyes. "Is that you?"

Harley let out a shout of laughter. "Yep, you got me. Wow, that was fun while it lasted." She extended her wrists, looking up at the officer expectantly. "Ok, well go ahead and put 'em on. I'm sure you're assuming I'm going to come quietly." By now, she had looked at his name tag and learned that this was Officer Burns.

"Alright, Ms. Quinzel, turn around and face the car." He said irritably with a roll of his eyes and Harley obeyed, bracing her hands out in front of her. But as he patted her down, admittedly a little more friskily than he would have anyone else, her hand crawled to the front of her low cut top where she slid her knife from the strap of her bra.

"Do you enjoy this line of work, Officer Burns? It seems so unpredictable. You never know what you're going to encounter." He was ignoring her… that was rude of him. As Officer Burns turned her around, Harley sunk the knife into the side of his leg and he yelled in pain, falling to the ground, one of his hands clutching for the small radio on his shoulder. Harley knelt down, grabbing the black cord that fed the radio and used her knife to easily cut the wire, severing his pleas for help from his fellow officers.

"You didn't answer my question, Officer Burns. But that's OK. Unpredictability is what makes the world so wonderful. Like I'm sure you didn't expect to have that big, nasty knife in your leg." She started laughing but that's when someone stepped behind her, and two hands rested on her hips.

"Now that was impressive, Harley." He growled but she had already torn herself from his hands and was walking over to get back in on the driver's side, her good mood suddenly vanished. Still, she wasn't saying anything and Joker frowned as he sat in the passenger seat.

The ride back to the Henderson House was completely silent but as she drove, Joker looked over at her, admiring the purple and blue bruise on her cheek. "Take a left here. We aren't going home yet." He said abruptly and Harley obeyed, turning down the street he had specified. It was a dark, narrow lane that passed behind several buildings and as Harley drove, she kept her face passive although she was wondering wildly where he was taking her.

As much as Joker wanted to ask her what the problem was, there was no need; he already knew the answer. The bruise on her face spoke volumes and Joker couldn't help but feel the tiniest bit stupid for hitting her. It was obvious Harley was not a girl who tolerated being roughed up. But honestly… He wished she would at least look at him.

Once the car had stopped on Joker's orders, the two got out and walked up to a heavy metal door on which Joker banged three times with a fist. "Who is it?" someone demanded from the other side.

"Your worst nightmare." He replied with a laugh and a lick of his lips and after a couple clicks from the other side of the door, it swung open to reveal a large room full of men, standing around, waiting for whoever was supposed to be leading their meeting. Joker stepped into their midst and immediately, the room fell quiet as each and every person there stopped what they were doing to turn and listen to Joker. Harley stood at his side, her eyes cold as ice as they slid over the faces in the room.

"Thanks for coming, fellas. We have a very important…" he wiggled his fingers, searching for a word. "..mission tomorrow. And I need some help. But first…" he stepped forward, next to a taller man and looked him up and down openly before moving on to inspect the next. "…me and my queen, Harley there…" he winked at her over the shoulder of a shorter, fatter man. "…we need to find out which of you are suitable for such a task."

He turned around to face another man in the small throng and drew his knife, stepping forward. "What would you do if we were doing our mission tomorrow and some old lady starts givin' me problems? What would you do?" Joker arched his eyebrow, leaning in closer to the man as if in an effort to hear his mind produce the answer.

"I would blow 'er brains out." He replied and Joker took a step back, thinking over his answer with a slight scowl on his face. The room fell silent as he twirled the knife in his purple glove but then seemed to collectively sigh with relief as Joker nodded.

"Good answer. And you!" he walked a few feet away, over to a younger-looking guy and sat down in a chair next to him. He leaned over as though murmuring a secret to the guy. "Let's say I tell you that someone just followed us in through the roof. What would you do?" The kid paused but took a deep breath and sat up, facing The Joker.

"Well, I'd take my gun and a knife and go upstairs to find 'em. Then I'd stay there to make sure no one else got in." he replied and Joker's eyebrows raised as he looked over at Harley, obviously pleased with the answer. She turned her back to Joker, rolling her eyes as she did. Was this supposed to make up for that morning or something? Offering her a room full of men was definitely not the route he should have taken.

"So do I get the job?" the young man asked as Joker stood and he turned mid-step, grinning maliciously.

"Well, I dunno. Any…credentials?" he asked in return, sarcasm dripping from every word as he stared at the back of Harley's blonde head from across the room.

The man stood up, straightening his shoulders. "Well, I'm a pretty decent fighter." He said, causing Joker to swivel on the spot, the grin on his face far too wide for comfort.

"Oh reeeeeeaally now?" he took a step forward and across the room, Harley turned to watch, the inflexion in Joker's voice indicating that this meeting was about to get a lot more interesting. She loved watching Joker fight. He was terribly good at it and she always got a kick out of the look on the other persons face. "Alright, well if you're so good, fight Harley."

"What?" The man asked, glancing at the tall, thin blonde woman across the room.

"Yeah, fight Harley. If you win, you can have the job. If _she _wins, that means I win and if I win…then Harley gets to decide what happens." He grinned widely, the red lines on his face stretching across his cheeks. "Make sense?"

If looks could kill, Harley would have been slaughtering Joker from across the room. Hadn't he gotten enough fun out of hitting her that morning? As she stepped past him toward the young man, she made sure the point of her stiletto heel pressed down hard into Joker's shoe and he limped, glaring at her as she passed. He settled himself against the corner, folding his arms over his chest in full preparation for watching Harley's fight. Joker had yet to experience Harley in full swing but he figured if she could hold her own after being struck so hard by him, she could take this guy any day of the week.

Harley eyed the young man up and down as she walked toward him quickly but as soon as she was within reach, he swung, only to miss by inches when she ducked. An instant later, Harley grabbed the man by the shoulders and drove her knee up into his groin before pulling back and laying a punch across his face. The men in the room laughed as the defeated man fell to the floor, clutching himself between the legs and Harley spat on him viciously before turning to walk away.

Her heart was pounding as hot rage built inside her like steam but as she passed Joker, he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her to him, pressing his lips against her ear. "Nice work, baby." He cooed but allowed himself a wince as Harley reached up into his jacket and grabbed a small tuft of his armpit hair through his shirt. She really wanted to hurt him more but this tactic was still very painful and yet much more discrete.

"I pretended it was you…" she snapped quietly, her eyes boring holes into Joker's as they stood there in the midst of the other men. "…fucking asshole." She added and with that, turned her back on him to go and wait in the car.


	20. Too Fun To Quit

**Author's Note**: Wooo! I'm back! This chapter had to be the hardest chapter I've written so far. There was so much I wanted to put in this one and although I crammed A LOT in there, I still missed a bunch (which will hopefully be coming soon!) I found some dead sexy (no pun intended) pictures of our dear Heath as The Joker and I have to say, they were kind of my inspiration for the ending to the story. I've got some awesome ideas floating around right now but if you guys have any as well, please send them my way!! And now, without further ado, here is chapter twenty of our epic tale…

The car ride back to the Henderson House was entirely silent, the only sound being the wind as it rushed past the open car windows. Harley was still mad and while Joker should have been absolutely livid at her behavior back at their 'meeting', he was not and instead found her anger undeniably sexy. He shifted in his seat at a red light as he looked over at her; it didn't help that she was wearing his favorite of her black pencil skirts either.

"Just so you know, it kinda hurt when you grabbed my armpit hair." He murmured as he leaned across the middle of the car.

"Good." She snapped bitterly, her arms crossed over her chest. Joker simply grinned and reached over, grabbing her hand tightly in his. He giggled as she struggled to pull it away, but to no avail.

As Joker followed Harley up the stairs once they had gotten home, he bit down on his bottom lip, watching her perfect rear end as it swung dangerously in his face. He could not help himself so he reached up and pinched it hard. Harley squealed, spinning around to glare daggers at him but Joker shook his head, laughing a deep laugh. "Ya know, Harley, yoooouuu are such a _fox_ when you're mad, baby." He licked his lips with a smirk. Her eyes narrowed.

"Shut up." She spat, but in another moment (when Joker _should_ have hit her) he continued to follow her up the stairs. Getting on her nerves was way too fun to quit now.

As they reached the bedroom, Harley took a few quick steps and was inside before Joker, shutting the door in his face. He stopped, frowning, his nose inches from the wood and as he heard the lock click on the other side, he knocked gently.

"Harley… C'mon…" He cooed in his softest, clowniest, muffled voice from the other side of the door. She looked up from her seat on the bed and folded her arms like a child, hoping his seductive, pleading tone wouldn't get to her this time like it always did.

"No." She replied, straining her ears to hear Joker's response through the door. It was silent but as the door knob began to wiggle, she rolled her eyes. She should have known it was stupid to try and lock Joker out of his own bedroom. The door swung open and he stood there with his knife in his hand, but he didn't look angry. He was actually… smiling?

Joker stepped over to the edge of the bed and set his knife down on the nightstand to better use his hands to brush Harley's soft hair away from her face. He looked down into her eyes as his thumb slid over the bruise on her cheek gently and she winced, pulling away from his hands.

"Yeah, it still hurts." She murmured, brushing past him as she stood up to take off her heels. "You hit me really hard." Joker's hands caught her hips as she straightened from her bent position and he pulled her closer to leave a soft kiss on her bruised cheek.

"There…" he cooed in her ear as he left another kiss. "All better now." Harley closed her eyes as he kissed her again, this time, just next to her lips. One of his hands untucked the back of her shirt from her skirt and as he kissed her lips, it felt as though he hadn't kissed her in days, when really it hadn't even been a full twenty-four hours. She tasted as good as she always did.

Harley knew exactly what he was doing but tonight, neither his charm nor his kisses would work. Just because he had kissed it, doesn't mean it was better and in order to make sure he would not get used to hitting her, she had to ensure he learned a lesson too. There is always a method to their madness.

They were moving toward the bed and Harley allowed Joker to lock her beneath him as his lips left red makeup marks all over her neck. It felt amazing as usual, but Harley could feel Joker straining at his purple pants against her leg and again, her thirst for the upper-hand took over.

"Joker…" she murmured, opening her eyes as he trailed delicate kisses along her collarbone.

"Hmmmmm?"

"I'm really tired and I don't feel all that up for this tonight. Maybe tomorrow?" she put this lightly, hoping he wasn't about to get angry.

Joker sat up, his painted face mangled in a frown. What was the problem? He had done everything right and tried as best he knew how to make it up to her. But from the look in Harley's eyes as she stared up at him, it was not enough. And if there was one thing Joker would not do, it was raping a girl, especially his _own_ girl… even if he really, _really _wanted her. With a groan, he pushed himself up and sighed. "Ok." He moved off of her to lie on his stomach. As uncomfortable as this was with a full erection, he had to, otherwise he would lie around and play with Harley and then it would only get worse.

His actions surprised Harley in a huge way and as she moved around the bed where he lay to get dressed in pajamas, she stared at him, somewhat confused. It was that easy? He wasn't going to be mad at her for stopping him? And what was more, The Joker was lying on the bed, horny, and Harley wasn't there with him taking care of it? Things had gotten strange… very strange. But Harley embraced it and once in a pair of pajama bottoms and a tank top, she lay down on her stomach next to Joker, waiting until his eyes opened to reveal that brown color to which she had grown so attached.

As he did this, he rolled onto his side, reaching out to touch her hair while she smiled sweetly at him. She was so beautiful and he hated it when she looked at him like she knew what he was thinking about her. As he moved his hand from her hair to her back, she shut her eyes with a soft moan and Joker stared at the bruise on her cheek as though it were a huge zit. She was so perfect, how could he have hit her and defiled her beauty? But, she deserved it, he reminded himself. His thoughts consumed him for a moment and he slid his arm underneath Harley to pull her across the bed and into his arms, while no one was looking.

She fit so snugly against his body and as they lay there, Harley listened to Joker's heart beat through his chest. It was slow and steady, soothing her to sleep but as Joker yawned, she opened her eyes and looked up at him. "Are you gonna stay all night?" she asked, knowing that he randomly left during the night to do who knows what but for some reason, that night in particular, she did not want him to leave.

"Yes, honey buns. I'll be here all night." He promised and with that, Harley sighed against the folds of his shirt and slipped off to sleep.

Harley turned over hours later and her groggy eyes slid open, revealing a moonlit bedroom. It was late, but she wasn't sure exactly what time it was or why she woke up. As she lay there curled up under the purple satin sheets, she heard a soft noise that sounded something like a muffled hiccup from behind her where Joker was sleeping. She frowned into her pillow as she heard the sound again. It wasn't until the bed moved slightly that she realized he must be awake.

She rolled over to find that Joker's back was to her and he was curled up on his side. The muffled hiccup sound came again and Harley's frown deepened. "Joker?" she whispered, inching closer to his turned back only to hear the sound again, but at the same time, his back heaved slightly. And that's when it dawned on Harley: the Clown Prince of Crime was crying in his sleep.

At first, the shock of the situation hit her hard and for a moment or two, all she could do was stare at the scar on his back with her jaw hanging slack. She was wide awake at this point but knew it would be impossible for her to sleep with her man crying next to her for some unknown reason, asleep or not. And she knew he was asleep because she had said his name and had been moving around behind him, but he still did not move or stop.

But the more Harley listened to his quiet tears, the more painful it became and it wasn't long before she was moving closer to him. Harley had wondered before whether or not Joker would ever accidentally let slip his emotions like this and now she realized why this was happening. Sleep was the only time Joker had no control over himself and his emotions.

Joker was starting to cry harder and Harley could practically feel him tremble through the mattress. She watched him, silently, until he rolled onto his stomach, buried his face in his pillow, and sobbed. Harley felt her heart break into a million tiny pieces.

She leaned forward, resting a hand lightly on Joker's back. "It's OK…" she whispered in his ear and was about to continue when Joker lunged and was suddenly on top of Harley, both hands closed tightly around her neck. He was panting, glaring down at her, an air of madness about him that was so terrifying. Harley felt truly petrified of him for the first time in a while.

"Joker!" she gasped, grabbing his wrists as several of his tears fell from his face onto her skin. They were cold. "Stop! It's Harley!" At first, from the look in his eyes through his curtain of messy green curls, it appeared as though this really was her end, but something in her words, in her voice, woke Joker. He let go of her throat, staring down at her with wide eyes and an expression of shock.

"Harley..." He breathed, moving off of her to sit on the edge of the bed while she sat up, rubbing her neck and gasping for air. She could feel her head clearing of the fuzzy sensation being near choked to death produced and she watched Joker lean forward to run his hands through his hair. His eyes gazed unfocused at the closet and Harley was not sure whether or not she wanted to say anything. If she spoke up and said the wrong thing, he could kill her out of his embarrassment or anger or whatever it was he was feeling. So she decided to play it safe and lay back down to try and sleep, although her entire body trembled slightly.

As her eyes slid shut, the last thing she saw was Joker's lean frame rising from the bed, his shoulders hunched slightly as he left the room. Harley sighed into her pillow. He had promised to stay all night.

Harley sat bolt upright in bed hours later with her hands over her ears. Some incredible, loud bang had rattled her entire body to consciousness out of a dead sleep and now, some sort of powdery dust was falling next to her. She looked up and noticed a large chunk missing from the ceiling. As she gazed around shakily, she noticed the room was full of sunlight and Joker was standing next to the bed, holding a gun, grinning with a smile that was almost too big for his face. "Good morning." He put simply.

"You almost gave me a fucking heart attack, Joker. A simple nudge or even a kiss would have sufficed." She groaned, rubbing her eyes before admiring his new wardrobe. He was wearing a black ensemble nearly identical to his normal one save for a purple tie. A long black equivalent to his purple coat was resting on his shoulders. He looked pretty damned fine if she did say so herself. Joker settled onto her lap and bounced a few times as she whined.

"You disgust me, Harley." He said with a shake of his head. "I come in here with the courtesy to wake you up so I would be on time and you complain that I didn't use the method of your liking." His eyebrow raised precariously at Harley and she rolled her eyes; she knew he was joking.

It grew quiet for a moment and in that second, Harley stared at her man, his brown eyes circled with black. His makeup looked especially perfect this morning and she wondered how long he had taken doing it. He had not come back to bed all night; she would have felt him lay down. She dared herself to break the silence.

"Are you OK?" she asked quietly and carefully, watching his eyes as they drifted up from the floor to meet hers. She hoped beyond reason he wasn't about to hit her. And he did not, but instead nodded, looking away from her eyes. Both knew they were referring to the incident from the previous night and Harley was grateful that they had reached the point in their relationship where they could talk about things without really _talking_ about them. That was the only conversation they needed to have about it. She would not bring it up again.

"Get up and get dressed. Our friends will be here soon." With that, he stuck both of his hands in her morning hair, messing it all around before standing up. Harley groaned with a smile as he stood and moved toward the door. It was nice to have him in a good mood again.

As he reached the door, he stopped and held up a finger. "Wait, it seems like I'm forgetting something." His eyes rolled to the ceiling as he tried to remember what it was. "Oh yeah." He said a moment or two later and crawled up the end of the bed on his hands and knees until he had reached Harley, who was now sitting up against the headboard. "Good morning, dear." He murmured against her lips before kissing her once and flashing a grin.

Harley melted into the bed with a wistful sigh as she watched his black coat tail disappear beyond the door. She hated it when he did that sort of thing unexpectedly.

After she had floated into an all black outfit, complete with another of her tighter pencil skirts, a black pinstripe top, and heels, she went downstairs to find that her man was standing in the kitchen, gazing out the grimy window. Harley tugged her black jacket around her shoulders as she stood next to him. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, hoping he was about to wrap his arm around her. Her heart leapt as he did this and pulled her closer, but somewhat roughly. Joker's cheek rested against her head as he stroked her arm.

"Oh, Harley…" he murmured with a sigh and Harley's heart hung on the verge. He was about to continue when a black SUV pulled up into the narrow drive outside the door and the same man that Harley had fought the night before got out.

"Oh… Hi, Tommy. How nice of you to come," Joker said in his clowny voice, loving the way he kept glancing at Harley nervously. "I'm sure you remember the missus." He motioned to her, next to him. She grinned, but not at Tommy. "Let's go."

Outside, she and Joker were ushered into the back seats of the SUV and were soon cruising along back streets toward Gotham Central Bank. Harley was excited and kept glancing over at Joker as he typed on a cell phone. This was her first bank robbing and she was intrigued to find out what sort of brilliant shenanigans her crazy 'boyfriend' had in store. "So what's the plan?" she asked brightly, turning in her seat to look at him.

Joker looked up from the cell phone, frowning. "What do you mean what's the plan? We're gonna rob the bank." He answered and for a moment it almost looked as though he were about to add 'duh'. Harley blinked.

"Yeah… But… I mean… You've got to have a plan right? We're not just going to walk in there and…" As Joker looked up pointedly from the cell phone again, slowly, Harley nodded. "Oh… So we _are_ going to just… walk in… OK. Whatever." And with that, she resolved to silence, hoping this was about to go more smoothly than she was imagining it.

Several minutes into their car ride, Harley realized that a red SUV of the same model had been following them for quite a while. She figured those were the rest of the men Joker had hired. As they passed the bank, Harley noticed the red van stop and three men in sharp business suits got out to walk up the stairs. She continued to watch closely as they stopped near the front doors and broke into what seemed like a normal, friendly conversation.

Joker was watching them as well, turned in his seat with his arm behind Harley's head rest. "You ready, kid?" he asked, his eyes shifting to hers. Harley took a deep breath but nodded slowly.

"Are you?" she asked in return and Joker blinked, licking his lips but hesitated in his answer.

"C'mere…" he said quietly, his eyes darting left and right as if checking to make sure no one was watching. Harley leaned toward him slowly, obviously a bit cautious. She paused a foot or so from his face. "Closer…" he growled again, his eyes squinting in a scowl. So Harley moved closer until she was inches from his face but felt her stomach flip over as Joker closed the gap and kissed her gently on the lips. After only a second, he pulled away abruptly and flapped his hands at her impatiently. "OK, now I'm ready. C'mon. Let's go."

As they trotted up the stairs, Joker looked up, his eyes searching for the small white flag his man on the roof was going to use to signal that the silent alarms had been cut and all other exits had been blocked. Sure enough, the beacon was flapping from the edge of the roof. As they stepped inside, the three men in business suits stepped inside behind them and blocked the doors while shooting the two security guards with silenced rifles.

"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen." Joker declared with a flourish as random screaming broke out and everyone sank to the floor. "We will be handling all further transactions this afternoon." He said. "But first, I want every single wallet with everything in it. My friends are coming around to collect them. If you don't have one to give them, you better have a good excuse. My friends are not very lenient." He laughed loudly, offered Harley his arm, and together they strolled through the bank, watching the hostages fumble for their wallets while Joker's other men demanded money from the tellers.

Harley turned away from Joker a minute later and happened to spot a young man trying to hide a cell phone that he had just raised to his ear. "Uh oh... Someone thought we weren't watching…" She chimed in a sing-song voice, pulling her arm from Joker as both of them turned fully to stand over the young man who had now lowered his cell phone. Joker snapped his fingers as he held out his hand for the phone. The terrified man handed it over, staring up at the intimidating couple before him as they glanced at each other.

"Ya know, Harley, I don't think I trust this guy." Joker was saying rather loudly as he clicked through the man's phone. "He looks like a dirty rat… Someone to stab you in the back when you aren't looking." He looked down at the young man. "Are you a back-stabber?"

The man was silent but apparently The Joker's words hit close to home, for tears were beginning to gather at the edges of his blue eyes. He trembled slightly whether out of rage or fear, Harley was not sure. But when he failed to answer Joker's question, both sides of the clowny couple knelt to get up close and personal with their newest tease.

Before either could say a word, two men that belonged to Joker's troupe ran out from behind the counter carrying four huge duffle bags. "Boss, let's go!" one of them shouted. Joker walked over, leaving Harley with the young man.

She knelt, smiling. "I think my man is right. You look like a good for nothing, dirty rotten back-stabber and I think you ought to know how it feels…" The young man let out a soft sob as the tears he had been collecting spilled over and down his cheeks. He was still shaking and as Harley slid her knife from an inside pocket, he lost control.

"What is wrong with you people?!" he screamed. "We didn't do anything to deserve this!"

Harley began clapping her hands, the sound of it echoing through the nearly silent bank. She laughed in his face, enjoying the way her mocking was infuriating the young man. "There's nothing wrong with us. But on the other hand…" the man's scream ripped the air as Harley drove her knife into the man's side. "I think there's something wrong with _you_. You're the one with a giant hole in your side." Harley was giggling uncontrollably. This was way too much fun…

"You fucking BITCH!!!" the young man shrieked his face a sickly shade of white as he clutched his bleeding side. The life was literally draining from him as she stood there and cackled. Harley jumped as Joker stepped next to her and with two hands lifted the young man off of the floor to his feet where he held him inches from his painted face.

"That's not a very nice thing to say to a lady." He crooned, baring his teeth in a grin. "And besides, no one calls my bitch a bitch but me." With that, he threw the limp young man into a table, knocking it and everything on it to the floor. "Let's get outta here, bitch." He spat, offering his arm once again to Miss Harley Quinn and she took it with a smile, stepping over the body of the young man.

As they marched down the steps toward a white SUV, Harley looked up at Joker. "That was nice of you, baby…sticking up for me like that." she said, hooking her fingers at his elbow.

Joker nodded, opening the door for her to climb in just as police sirens filled the air. "I know. I _should_ have cut his balls off and put them in a jar, but hey, time is of the essence." Both burst into obnoxious laughter as the SUV sped away from the bank, toward the outskirts of town.

The red SUV was following them again, but as they drove, Harley realized slowly that they were not going in the direction of the Henderson House but rather in the opposite. She frowned, looking up at Joker. "Where are we going?" she asked.

"Well, my sweet, it would be incredibly stupid to go home right away." He explained in a mocking tone. "So we are going to take all the loot somewhere secret." He wiggled his fingers in a circle to indicate that apparently where ever this secret place was, it was magical. So Harley sat back in the comfortable seat, to ponder deeply while they were driven to this magical, secret location.

Fifteen minutes elapsed and the white SUV came to a stop, with the red one just behind it. Almost immediately, the men were jumping out, pulling huge bags that Harley had not even noticed being carried out of the bank. Inside the building, which appeared to be a small, old, cigar factory, Harley stood to the side as Joker and his men hauled the bags into a back office. They were already arguing about their shares of the money and as she watched Joker move around between them, silently doing his part, he kept grinning to himself. He was going to kill these men and Harley knew it.

She watched him brush off his hands and smirked as his eyes shifted to hers from across the room. The voices of the men seemed to fade and her heart beat grew louder in her ears the longer she stared at Joker. His eyes were full of laughter and her smile expanded as she reached into her inside pocket and drew her gun. Joker was doing the same and once both were armed, he gave the slightest nod of his head and they turned, mowing down the men one by one.

The noise was incredible as shot after shot rang out through the metal shell of the factory. Harley's body and mind were alive with some insane rage as the last man dropped; her last bullet ricocheted off of a beam, the precursor to a deadly, agitated silence. Her ears were ringing but she could hear Joker talking quietly to himself as he stepped forward to drag the bodies away. Only when she stepped forward to help him did she realize he was mocking the now dead man who had been talking about his share just moments ago.

"_I wonder how much he'll give us?_" he was saying in a high pitched voice under his breath, broken here and there by giggles. "_I dunno, let's ask him." _ he laughed a little louder as he and Harley dragged him down the hall toward another back room. He looked up at Harley over the body. "I'll give ya a smile as I take yours away." And with that Tommy's body hit the ground with a thud as both Harley and Joker threw their heads back in manic, joyous laughter.


	21. I'm A Midnight Toker

**Author's Note: **There is some drug use (if you consider marijuana a drug) in this chapter, so be advised. = ]

Alfred walked toward the heavy, mahogany doors to Bruce Wayne's study as fast as his aging legs would carry him. The man at his heels was breathing rather heavily as if he had just run here on foot with news for the billionaire. Honestly, Alfred would not have been surprised…

"Master Wayne!" he called once he had reached the doors. "A Mister Cullington is here to speak with you concerning your safety deposit box at Gotham Central Bank." The butler turned to the young banker and nodded as the doors swung open, revealing one of the richest men in the world.

"Bruce Wayne, it is always a pleasure." The young man began, instantly throwing a hand out for a shake which Mr. Wayne accepted with a warm smile.

"I wish I could say the same, but it seems every time someone from Gotham Central shows up at my house, it's usually because they've lost some more of my money." His brown eyes were twinkling with misdirected sarcasm, but from the look on the banker's face, he was less than laughing.

"Well, um…unfortunately, our bank was robbed today by The Joker and Harley Quinn. They did not come for money, although they did take a lot. Instead, they went for all the safety deposit boxes."

An expression of realization crashed over Bruce's face as the banker continued, gravely. "In other words, Mr. Wayne…" he cleared his throat and fiddled with his tie nervously. "The contents of your family's deposit box, including the birth certificates and your father's pocket watch, have been stolen by the Joker."

Silence descended and as the banker watched the back of Mr. Wayne's pristine suit retreat into the study, he called after him. "At least we didn't lose any of your money this time!"

Five miles away, Joker let his body crash gracefully into a plush bed of one hundred dollar bills and duffle bags in the back room of the abandoned cigar factory. A boyish, selfish smile was smeared all over his face as he sang a tune from an old musical. "If I were a rich man…Da da dee da dum da…" He was in the middle of tossing handfuls of bills into the air when he gasped with a giggle as he remembered the jewel he was holding in his waist coat pocket.

The heaps of money shifted under his weight as he fished the fragile and yet expertly wrapped blunt of weed out of his pocket and was about to light it when Harley bounced into the room. She stopped in her tracks as her eyes fell onto Joker, sprawled out luxuriously on the pile of money. His eyebrows arched. "What?"

Harley shook her head with a laugh as she lay down on the money with him. "Nothin…" she replied. "You're just cute, that's all." Her eyes grew wide as the pungent scent of burning marijuana met her nose. Joker was taking a drag and she watched, intrigued as he let it drift from his mouth to his nose. It should not have come as a shock to her that Joker smoked weed and yet it surprised her in a huge way. Wasn't weed supposed to calm you down?

"Ever smoked this before, Harley?" It was like he was reading her mind. She shook her head slowly, eyeing the thin, brown cigar between his lips as he took another hit. "It's good for you." He mumbled, peering down at her. His eyes looked droopier and shinier than usual and Harley became intrigued, reaching out for it. He slapped her hand. "Ah, ah, ah… you can't just suddenly decide you wanna smoke with me." He said, hitting it again but motioned for her to come closer, which she did immediately.

Their lips were nearly touching. Harley could feel the warm smoke tickling her lips as he murmured "Open your mouth." She obeyed, fighting back a shiver as his hand slid behind her neck and smoke filled her mouth. It was impossible not to inhale, so she did but choked on the powerful taste and smell. Her eyes began watering while she coughed and Joker laughed, hitting his blunt again.

The minutes passed slowly as Harley and Joker lay in the middle of the dim, musty room on their pile of money, smoking in silence. She was beginning to feel the effects of the drug on her brain and was in the middle of rubbing her eyes groggily when Joker grabbed her legs and pulled her on top of him with a grunt.

"You sit riiiiight here…" he murmured, exhaling the last of the smoke in his lungs. "…and let me look at you while I'm nice n' stoney maloney." His gaze drifted up her body lazily until he met her eyes where he stopped to stare for just a moment. He sighed, rubbing her legs on either side of his hips.

"Today was fun, wasn't it, doll?" he asked, grinning up at her as she rocked forward on his waist, nodding.

"It was. But it doesn't seem like we took a whole lot of money…" she replied, indicating the decent but relatively small pile of bills they were laying on. Joker had no interest in money and she knew that, but she had figured he would take more than what they had. Joker could see the cogs working behind her eyes so he pushed her off of him so he could venture down the hallway.

Moments later, he returned, two of the huge duffle bags over his shoulders. "It doesn't seem like it because we didn't take much money at all. Our treasure is silver and gold." He unzipped one of the bags to reveal heaps and heaps of jewelry and papers, antiques, family heirlooms, all stuffed into the dirty bag carelessly. "Once Gotham realizes that I'm stashing all their valuables, they'll come crawling and will cooperate perfectly with whatever I fancy." He sang, waving his hands like an orchestra conductor.

Harley grinned contemplatively as she rested against the wall. Joker was fumbling through the bag, looking at some of the loose paper, laughing at certain things he found, mocking the citizens of Gotham under his breath. His voice faded momentarily and Harley opened her eyes to find that he was staring at a pocket watch very similar to his own with eyes that narrowed in a confused glare. He reached into an inside pocket of his jacket and pulled out his own watch, holding it next to the one from the bag. They were identical.

As Joker examined the watches, he flipped both of them open to reveal that his watch was broken and shattered on the inside but the other was in perfect condition. His eyes fell onto an engraving on the inside of the watch door done in curvy cursive. It read 'Wayne'. Joker's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Ooooh…" he cooed, snapping it shut again. "Looks like I found a little piece of the Wayne family." Harley inched closer until she was at his side and looking down at the watches. She rested her chin on his shoulder.

"So what does that mean, Joker?"

"It means we're going home…now." He stood abruptly, pulling Harley along with him, before throwing the large bag over his shoulder.

A half hour later, Harley and Joker were climbing out of the car, laughing about something he had heard one of the hostages say earlier that day. But the second Joker stood up from the driver's seat, he froze, his eyes sliding to the house as Harley opened the door.

"Something's not right…" he murmured, slinging the bag over his shoulder again. And sure enough, from inside the house, Harley let out a blood-curdling scream that raised the hairs on the back of Joker's neck and all along his arms. He hated it when she screamed like that.

"What happened?" he asked, stepping into the house only for Harley to come crashing into him, burying her face into his black coat. At first, he thought she was just playing around but then felt hot, wet tears soaking through his shirt. She was hysterical. Joker pushed her away gently to walk around the couch and what he saw there surprised even him. "Oh, my…"

Jester was laying dead on the carpet, a knife through his neck, pinning a piece of paper to the dog's fur and body. A moist, sticky pool of blood around him coated the dark carpet. Joker sighed, kneeling next to Harley's precious dog. They hadn't seen much of him lately, seeing as to how he usually stayed in Joker's "office" upstairs and only came down so Harley would take him out for a bathroom break. Still, Joker had grown slightly attached to the dog and couldn't help but feel sorry for his girl.

The piece of paper pinned to his neck was stained with blood but the black writing on it was still legible. "_Sal Maroni speaks with The Joker at half-past eleven._" It read. Joker was still knelt next to the dead dog but a soft whimper from Harley tore his attention from the note.

She was curled up on the couch, sobbing quietly into a pillow with her back to Joker. Her heart hurt in a million different places as she imagined the sort of howls and whimpers that could have been heard inside the house when Jester's killer had made his stop. That had been her child, her baby that she had raised since puppy-hood and now he was gone forever. Sure, it seemed a little childish to lose it so hard over a dog, but Jester had been Harley's best friend for five years; her _only_ friend.

Gentle hands and strong arms were scooping her up from the couch but she did not open her eyes as Joker carried her up the stairs. Her arms went around his neck and she buried her face against his neck as more hot tears threatened to spill.

Soon she was lying on the bed. At first, she wanted Joker to go away, to just leave her alone. But as his weight settled onto the edge of the bed next to her, she decided that The Joker was the one person she wanted there more than anyone else. "Harley, I'm sorry." He murmured.

Comforting was something Joker was wholly unfamiliar with but he found that Harley in pain was a completely different ball-game altogether. Why did it hurt him so much to see her cry?

"When did this happen?" she asked in between sobs.

Joker sighed. He knew she wouldn't like his answer. "He was still warm so I'm guessing we missed it by only ten minutes or so." Sure enough, Harley howled with misery, flipping onto her stomach. Joker frowned, checking his watch as the note from the mystery killer floated back into his mind. It was almost eleven and if Sal Maroni wanted to speak with The Joker, well, then The Joker would be there…with a vengeance.


	22. What Goes Around, Comes Around

**Author's Note: **I just wanted to thank everyone who has been reviewing and adding my story to their favorites. It really means a lot to me to get those sort of comments and encouragement. I'm totally loving where this story is going and I can't wait until you guys see what I have planned….mwahahaa…Now, on with the story…

Gravel crunched underneath the heavy, agitated footsteps of The Joker as he trudged toward the magnificent front doors to the Maroni Estate just outside of Gotham. Normally, he would have opted for a more stealthy approach but he was bristling with poorly suppressed anger so a covert entrance was out of the question. Green hair whipped across his face as his fist connected with the heavy doors and almost immediately, they opened. Joker instantly began laughing quietly as he stepped into the foyer of this massive home. The two burly mobsters that had let him in were about to search him and he could feel it; that's why he was laughing.

"First person to touch me, dies…" he said calmly, holding up his empty hands. But just as he had predicted, the man on the left grabbed his shoulder and proceeded to pat him down. With a shout of laughter, Joker drew his knife and flicked it open. "What did I _just _ say?" he asked, grinding his teeth as his irritation rose to a whole new level.

The thug who was not touching him didn't even have the time to cry out before Joker grabbed his face and twisted his neck sharply until a sickening crunch pronounced him dead. The hand that had been on his shoulder released slowly so Joker continued into the house with a sadistic grin on his face. He cleared his throat as he stepped over the body.

The marble floors to the estate greatly magnified Joker's footsteps and before he had entered the sitting room, a raspy voice floated to him. "Could you come to my house just once without killing one of my men?" Joker stopped mid-step to glare at the graying, aging, mob-boss of Gotham, Sal Maroni.

"Nope." He replied shortly, making himself comfortable in a large armchair like Sal's. "Because then I would have no reason to come here." His eyes narrowed. "What did you want?"

With a groan, Maroni stood from his chair, immediately leaning on his cane for support. Ever since Batman had dropped him from that roof, he had not walked right. His age was catching up with him, not to mention.

"Belle, please get our guest something to drink." He said to nobody but it wasn't until a young woman stood up from the corner did Joker notice her. He eyed both of them with equal disgust as she moved to fix him a glass of scotch and ice. Maroni was watching him as if to see whether or not he did tricks and it was starting to make The Joker a little itchy. As the young woman neared him with the glass, Maroni sat back down only to watch as Joker smacked the tumbler out of her hand onto the marble where it shattered.

"I asked you a question, Maroni. Let's not pretend like we're suddenly buddies." He snapped, his half-lidded eyes trained on the head mobster. Joker was only there because of Harley. Had it not been for her, he would have thrown away the note without a second thought but seeing her so upset made him angry to the point where he wanted to break someone's face…or whatever it took to make her smile again.

"I wanted to know what your plans are. You have been incredibly random with your outbursts this time around. I want to know what you are planning." His lips curled into a sly grin. "I want to know if my boys can be of any assistance."

Joker stood up, laughing loudly. His voice reverberated off the marble accents and Belle started, looking terrified. "You have absolutely nothing of interest to me, Maroni. I've got 'assistance' now." He replied as a grin began to tug at the corners of his mouth against his will.

Maroni pressed his fingers together after taking another sip of his scotch. "That would be this 'Harley' clown right?". Joker was fighting his face in every single way possible but the genuine, boyish smile that forced it's way out surprised both men. It had been so long since Joker had smiled that way and he found he disliked it as much as he had the last time he did it. In fact, he liked it even less because he was starting to realize why he did that every time someone brought up Harley Quinn.

"Yeah, and she's more of a help than any of your fellas ever were." He replied loudly, hoping all of Maroni's men could hear him from the sitting room. "But you didn't have to kill the dog. That was unnecessary and messy, Maroni. You're slipping."Joker taunted as he paced the room.

Wrinkle lines on Sal's forehead creased with his frown. "Joker, I didn't even go to your house. I sent Snakes to leave you a message. I told him to get the point across but I didn't tell him to kill anyone…or…anything." His eyes sparkled as he smirked up at The Joker. "Did ol' Snakes kill wittle Harley's puppy dog?" Joker breathed through his nose, pointing a gloved finger threateningly in Maroni's face.

No, he wasn't going to kill him. Instead, a different, larger prey entered the room. Joker's eyes swiveled to see who it was but found that the tall man who had come in was looking at him with an expression of mingled shock and dread. "OH! You must be Snakes!" Joker exclaimed, clapping his hands together as though he had been long awaiting this thug's arrival. "I'm glad you're here. See, I have a bone to pick with you, Snakessss." He lingered on the 's' as he loomed in the man's weathered face.

"It seems we had a little 'breaking and entering' at my place this evening and Sal Maroni says it was you. So I says it's you too." Joker laughed, flinging his arms out wide. "And in that case, you and I have a little debt to settle." He was cracking his knuckles now but stopped as 'Snakes' spoke.

"So you're gonna kill me because you're pissed I killed your little pup." He stated blandly, eyeing the knife Joker was now juggling between his two hands. He laughed loudly in the taller man's face.

"No, my dear Snakes. I'm gonna kill ya cuz you broke into my house and left a mess. And once you're dead, I'm gonna rip that nice shirt off your body and use it to clean up the puddle of dog blood and guts on my priceless carpet." Joker's grin widened with each word and by the time he was done, he looked something like the Cheshire Cat. "So let's make this quick and neat."

Snakes came at Joker roughly, his clumsy hands moving to close around the clown's neck. Joker snatched both hands and twisted as hard as he could until he heard both wrists break beneath the shout of pain that echoed in the large room. Maroni would do nothing but watch. As much as he hated watching Joker kill one of his men with his bare hands, watching Joker kill anybody was like watching a painter add the finishing touches to a masterpiece. Joker was the Picasso of murder.

He was cackling maniacally as the defenseless thug fell to the marble, clutching his broken wrists. "Did you kick the dog like this?" he asked, aiming a hard kick at his ribs which crippled him to a laying position on his side. "Did he whimper like you?" he kicked him again, this time in the face, breaking his nose instantly. Snakes cursed in pain as blood poured onto the white floor from his face.

The color was draining rapidly from Snakes as he lay there, bleeding, but his troubles would soon be over forever. Joker was practically trembling with laughter as he knelt next to the wounded man, pulling a large kitchen knife from that eternally mysterious inside pocket of Joker's coat. From another pocket, he took a playing card before resting it delicately on Snake's neck. "Don't move, Snakes. This wont hurt a bit."

With all the accuracy he could muster, Joker drove the knife straight through Snake's neck until he felt tile on the other side. The Joker card was pinned perfectly to the body's neck in the same place Jester's note had been. With his other knife, Joker cut the crisp, white, dress shirt off of Snake's body and stood, walking over to a small table where the crystal bottle of scotch was sitting.

"It was nice chatting with you, Sally. Try a phone call next time." With that, The Joker exited the room, the shirt in one hand, the bottle of scotch in the other.

Harley's head popped up from it's place buried in her pillow as sounds of Joker's arrival drifted up the stairs from the living room. He was being much louder than normal, she thought, and she could hear him laughing and joking to himself about something. Harley listened to him approach, wiping her eyes of the old, moist tears she had shed while he was gone. Each of Joker's foot steps as he climbed the stairs could be heard and they were loud, deliberate sounding. She grinned, sniffling; there was always something ominous about her man.

Moments later, the door swung open and Joker stood in the way, swaying slightly. "Honey, I'm home!" he practically shouted, tossing a large glass container against the wall where it shattered. He paid this no mind and instead climbed onto the bed with a grunt. Harley could smell the alcohol on him from where she was sitting and she made a face.

"Are you drunk, Joker?"

"You could say that."

"What did you do to Maroni?"

Joker held up a finger. "The better question to ask, Harley, is what did I do to Jester's killer. And I'll tell ya…" He leaned in precariously close, taking a long moment to inhale the sweet scent of the woman he had most recently killed for. There was no point in finishing the story now; being this close to her was a distraction in and of itself.

Harley's eyes fluttered shut and her breath hitched as the Joker placed more of his weight on her thighs, crushing his growing erection against her lower body. A low, guttural moan escaped her heaving chest and the Joker took his time in tracing a callused finger down her flushed face and neck.

Pushing back blonde curls, he murmured into her ear, "After me, you are the next best thing this world has seen. Anyone that makes you cry will die by my hands." He took a slow, steadying breath against her neck as he kissed her there. "I just wanna make you smile."

Harley knew he was rambling at this point, but she didn't care. Drunk or not, The Joker never delved into his feelings for her and now, she was not about to stop him.

"Who would have ever guessed The Joker could almost fall in love with someone again?" He leaned back onto his knees, sitting up to reach into his coat pocket and take it off at the same moment. His actions halted and his eyes swept down to Harley's as his words registered in his drunken state. Joker swung his legs over Harley and his body off the bed as panic and a small fear jumped into consciousness. Harley practically jumped off the bed and would have fallen flat on her ass if Joker hadn't seized the nanosecond to capture her waist and compress her body against his.

"Oh, Joker, I love y-" she began to reply but whimpered as Joker's strong right hand clamped over her mouth, squeezing it shut.

"Don't you dare say it, Harley." He began daringly, his fingers gripping her bottom jaw firmly. "We both know I care about you. But I'm drunk so I wont mean any of this tomorrow. You and I are partners in crime and fuck-buddies in the sack. Don't get it twisted, missy." His eyebrows raised. "Understand?"

Harley nodded slowly. Bruises were going to form on her jaw where he was viciously gripping her mouth shut. He looked at her harder, trying to assess her honesty and finding no lies in her eyes, he let go and shoved her to the floor.

He turned to walk out of the bedroom, pausing to throw something back at her on the floor. "Here," he growled. "Something I picked out for you. It's nothing special, seeing as it's probably someone's grandma's or something. But it will look a lot better on you." And he left the room, slamming the door behind him as he went to the roof to walk it off.

Harley stared at the stunning diamond necklace in her hand, unsure of whether to be upset at what Joker had said or to run up to the roof and kiss him all over, whether he wanted it or not. Her heart hurt all the way through and through as his words echoed in her mind and the diamonds in her hand caught the moonlight perfectly.

"_I'm drunk so I wont mean any of this tomorrow." _

Harley stood from the floor, opening and shutting her mouth widely, stretching out the jaw that Joker had just been clamping shut. An audible sigh escaped her as the cool, metal chain slipped around her neck and after straightening it, the diamonds hung in a delicate trail between her collarbones. Joker would be back later hopefully, she thought to herself sleepily as she curled up in the empty, cold bed.

She had meant it though, no matter how he tried to prevent her from saying it. A smile slipped onto her face as her eyes closed to the dim, murkiness of the room and at that moment, Harley Quinn realized that she had fallen madly, insanely in love with The Joker.


	23. Weaken Me

Author's Note: WOO! What a friggin week n a half! I hope everyone had a good Christmas, Kwanzaa, whatever you celebrate and I'm glad that this chapter is finally done. I literally started writing this chapter right after I posted ch22 and I just finished this last night (at like 4 in the morning, no less) So I hope you all enjoy it! There is a pretty extensive sex scene in this chapter so if you have eyes of the virgin kind, I'm not so sure this is for you...cuz it's pah-retty mature... Have fun, kids!

A vast sea of purple satin lay empty before Harley the next morning as her eyes creaked open and already, she felt a small pang of disappointment shoot through her. She had grown accustomed to waking up with no Joker in the bed but every time, it still hurt just a little. Pushing these thoughts aside, she proceeded to get up and get dressed in jeans and a long sleeved shirt; it was getting somewhat chilly in Gotham.

Downstairs, where Harley had half-expected to find her man passed out on the couch, she found it empty. Sometime last night, Joker had moved Jester's body and what looked like a bloody dress shirt was crumpled over the puddle where he had lay. Yes, it still hurt to think of Jester but at the moment, Harley was more curious as to where Joker had disappeared.

In a last ditch effort, she ventured up to the roof after retrieving two Advil and a glass of water. Crisp morning sunlight was bathing the roof in a golden glow and a breeze caught the ends of her hair as she stepped out. A grin flashed across her face as she noticed one long leg draped over the arm rest of Joker's chair from behind. _Of all the places…_she thought to herself as she approached but her eyes softened as she rounded the chair to find The Joker sprawled out, fast asleep.

Most of his makeup had come off on the side of the chair and his green, messy hair was mostly in his face, moving slightly as he breathed. His arms were folded over his stomach but the moment Harley rested her hand on his shoulder, he jumped with a half-gasp. His eyes opened to the unforgiving sunlight and he groaned, squeezing them shut again.

His head was splitting in half and if he was honest with himself, he felt a little like puking but there were much bigger matters at hand…as in why Harley was still there after what he had said the night before. In another sickening moment, Joker realized that he remembered. He had thought to himself, _Good thing I wont remember saying this tomorrow, _as he had left the room the previous night. But he remembered…

"Harley…" he murmured, now sitting forward in the chair, his half-painted face buried in his hands. "What are you doing here?" he asked stupidly through his fingers.

"I live here, silly." She replied brightly. "I brought you some Advil. I'm sure you have a headache."

Joker forced one eye open to peer up at Harley only to find that her small hand was outstretched, holding two small pills and a glass of water. Despite himself, he took them. "You're an angel." He growled and Harley leaned down, placing a quick peck on his cheek.

"But only for you." She corrected him over her shoulder as she walked away and Joker turned to watch her perfectly formed backside until she disappeared.

After taking the pills, Joker stood but stumbled as one of his knees buckled lamely after being propped over the edge of the chair all night. He was an absolute mess and felt like he had been hit by a semi-truck. Thankfully, he didn't have much to do that day so he knew he could count on Harley to nurse him back to health.

He found her downstairs in the kitchen an hour later and a groggy, boyish smile crept its way onto his face as she arched her back, flipping her curtain of blonde curls over her shoulders to tie it up. The warm scent of cinnamon and vanilla met his nostrils the closer he got, approaching from behind and he couldn't wait to feel her jump when he touched her. His hands encircled her waist once he was close enough and he buried his nose into her loose ponytail to breathe in her intoxicating scent. She really had become a drug to him over the past six months. If he was out during the day without her, he would find himself, guiltily, hurrying through things just so he could go home. These sort of thoughts freaked him out so he always pushed them aside. Still, coming home at night and wrapping his arms around her was often the best part of his day.

"Hey, babe…" Harley cooed, placing her hands over his larger ones as he wrapped his arms around her from behind. "You feeling better yet?"

He nodded a response with his cheek against the side of her head and silence fell upon them but neither cared. Joker rocked slowly, gently from side to side, holding Harley as they stared out the window at nothing in particular. "I'm glad you're still here, kiddo." He murmured quietly and Harley laughed, resting her head against his shoulder.

"Why would I leave?" she asked but Joker said nothing and instead grinned against himself, placing a soft kiss on the side of her head.

The afternoon passed slowly to Harley. Joker had said he was going to stay home all day, but didn't mention anything about _sleeping_ all day. She was bored and Joker was definitely no fun if all he was going to do was sleep upstairs in that big bed. He deserved the hang over he was experiencing but honestly, Harley wanted to get out and do something! She sighed for a fifth time then stood to march over to the stairs and go up to see if he was awake yet.

The door squeaked a little on its frame as Harley peered around it. From the looks of it, Joker was asleep on his side, facing her side of the bed so she walked over and lay down gently next to him. She had just gotten comfortable and ready to wake him up when she looked up to find that he was wide awake and watching her. "Hello there." He said.

"Hi." She replied. "I was coming to see if you were awake." Her eyes focused on his bottom lip but she knew the look in his eyes and was not surprised when he reached out to slide a hand down her spine, into the back of her jeans.

He grinned, licking his lips. "I was hoping you would. It was getting kinda lonely up here." Harley shivered as he tugged her hips across the bed toward his. A seductive grin was tickling his features and Harley gazed up at his brown eyes as he let his hands explore the previously marked territory of her body. She wasn't sure what to say but knew that if Joker kept touching her like this, they might never leave the bedroom.

"Joker…" she whined, her face buried against the crook of his neck as he grabbed two handfuls of Harley's ass and squeezed. Pulses of pleasure shot up and down throughout her body and she mentally cursed at Joker for his boyish charm and devilish good looks. He had taken his makeup off before his nap and Harley was glad she had chosen to come up here. It was a rare treat to see him without his makeup on so she would always try to catch him at the right time. He was just so fucking sexy without it.

There was no denying this anymore. Joker was humming something to himself as one of his hands fisted into the thickness of hair behind her head and he pulled, exposing her long, soft neck. His lips made contact with the sensitive area of flesh just under her chin, arousing a soft moan from Harley. Joker grinned against her skin, wondering to himself how she managed to taste so fucking good all the time.

His kisses were becoming more and more aggressive as he moved along her neck and he was soon using his arm to prop himself up over Harley as she lay on her back. "I'm guessing you feel better." She murmured, opening her eyes as Joker stopped his assault on her neck and instead pressed his lips to hers.

"Not quite." He replied between kisses. "You know what might help though?" Joker watched lustfully as Harley bit down on her bottom lip with a grin and her hands slid under the covers.

"I think I have an idea…" she purred, looking up at Joker as she wrapped one hand around his now throbbing dick. His lips expanded in a grin that plainly said Harley had found the right answer. But in a movement Joker did not expect, she pushed him off of her onto his back and sat up, leaning over him. "I have to admit something, Joker." She began, gliding her fingers up and down the length of him.

"What's that?" he asked in return, honestly not paying a lick of attention to what she was saying. Her small hand around his dick was somewhat of a distraction.

"The first time we had sex, I didn't expect you to be such a big boy." She said, glancing down at her preoccupied hand. "I have to say I was surprised." Joker grinned, placing his hand over hers to move it along the length of him.

"Oh, I'm a plethora of surprises, Harley." He growled and was about to continue with something smart-ass when her wet tongue snuck out to tease the very tip of him. _Ok, I'll just shut up now._ His head fell back into the pillows as his eyes shut and Joker was lost, temporarily out of order. A soft moan escaped him against his will as her mouth closed around him but after only a few moments, she sat up, licking her lips slowly.

Through half-lidded eyes and a delirious haze of arousal, Joker could see Harley watching him as she removed her top. Her breasts were perfectly proportionate to her body and Joker sat up to admire them with his hands, loving the way she watched him. Her skin was so soft, her nipples so hard and Joker, by now, was trembling with enough sexual aggression to stop a moving car. His fingers gripped her bottom jaw in the same fashion as he had the night before, except this time, he met her parted lips with his.

Her back was meeting the mattress as Joker moved her to lay down and Harley gazed up at him, trying to decipher his next move. His eyes focused on her and that constant scowl he wore disappeared for a split moment. He moved down her body slowly, following with his hands until he found her legs.

Harley was already dripping wet and he could see it glistening, teasing him but he could not give in yet; he needed to do something first. With a tug, Joker pulled her closer using her legs and leaned down, placing a gentle kiss on her extra-sensitive clit. He hadn't done this in a long time but figured he would get the hang of it again before long and besides, Harley was stunned speechless.

She was watching him lick and suck on that most sensitive of areas with her jaw hanging open. Joker _never _reciprocated when it came to this and Harley had gotten used to it, felt fine with it and got over it. But what he was doing now confused her and yet made her feel as though she were going to spontaneously combust. His fingers slid inside her slowly and Joker looked up to catch the look on her face just as she let a moan slip past her lips. His eyes shut as Harley began to whimper and he came back to her lips to feel those soft moans escape her mouth.

Joker could not take it anymore. The muscles in his back tensed up in unison as he rocked his hips, sliding into Harley, arousing a moan from both.

He looked down to see Harley's eyes shut tight, her hands trembling around the fisted sheet. Gently, Joker reached to press his hands under her quivering body and pulled her chest to him. Harley immediately wrapped her arms around his sweating neck, her legs thrown behind his back. Both moaned when Harley's movements pushed them closer together.

Seeing the look of an aroused crazy man in his eyes, Harley pulled herself flush against Joker, lightly sweeping strands of green hair from his forehead. His calloused hands unconscientiously rubbed her back, kneading the muscles underneath. He continued to gaze at her, drinking in her appearance so up close and personally. His eyes drifted shut and he breathed a sigh as her nimble fingers tenderly stroked his scars.

Licking her lips, Harley soothingly kissed the rugged surface of each of his facial scars, trying with everything in her not to cry out as Joker rocked deeper into her. She leaned back a touch and admired the beautiful man before her. Her heart was racing, her entire body trembling with her approaching release. As if she could hold it back no longer, the words "Joker, I love you" escaped her in a gasp that brought his eyes to hers.

Joker buried his face against the crook of her neck, hoping she wouldn't hear the sob of mingled pleasure and regret that left his lips. But of course, she did and fisted her hands into his hair, crying out as his powerful, aggressive thrusts pushed her to the top. Suddenly, she was spiraling out of control. Her lips formed a kiss against his right scar but parted in a delightful little moan that forced Joker to buck his hips a bit harder.

"I hate you, Harley." He growled, snatching another handful of her messy curls just as she tightened her legs' grip around his hips. Heavy, ragged breaths interrupted his thoughts momentarily as he struggled to think of something other than the beautiful girl beneath him.

"I hate how I can't fucking do anything without thinking about you." He spat angrily as he continued to rock his hips against Harley, his hands holding her waist. She did nothing but watch him, glistening faintly with sweat as he took his inner aggression out on her.

"I hate how you're always there when I need you and…and…" he was losing words rapidly as a tingling sensation started to spread throughout his body. Instead of words, he used his arms and gathered Harley against him, roughly kissing a spot on her neck.

His eyes shut as Harley dug her nails into his back, urging him on. "Joker, you love me." She cooed breathlessly, hoping her words would reach him. A deep growl served as his answer and his hips slowed a bit as he pushed himself up to lean over her. He was almost there but Harley was staring up at him with those haunting green eyes and his voice broke a little in a half-sob as he looked to the ceiling.

"This isn't fair…" he groaned against her knee as he held her legs apart. He was grunting with each thrust now and as Harley lay beneath him, she gazed up at him, over his body, memorizing every single thing about him in this moment. The Joker had fallen away and now Jude remained, panting in pleasure as his thumbs dug into Harley's hipbones. He knew it was hurting her but there was nothing he could do to stop himself; Harley sure knew how to bring out the animal in him.

Watching him thrust into her, almost at his peak, glistening in sweat with his stringy, green hair all in his face was enough to make any woman salivate a little. Her hips rose to meet his as Joker leaned over her, burying his face into the crook of her neck to let a loud moan past his lips as he came with a shudder. He secretly hoped no one else would ever hear him make that sound but Harley.

Both fought to catch their breaths as Joker still rested gently atop Harley, supporting himself with his forearms on either side of her shoulders. His forehead met her collarbones and he sighed deeply, slipping his fingers underneath Harley's arms to stroke the soft skin there. The room had fallen strangely silent but Harley's ears were ringing still so all she could hear was her quickened heartbeat as it pounded in her ears.

"Joker…" she breathed, running her hands along the surprisingly soft skin on his back. "That was amazing…"

Her man sat up to his knees, running a hand though his green hair to push it out of his face. "I know." He replied, moving to lay next to her. "I was there." A grin stretched his scars as Harley giggled, turning over onto her stomach to gaze at him lovingly. Joker stared back at her from behind those cold eyes and Harley sighed as she watched Jude fade back into the shadows again.

Joker's eyes had just slid shut to allow him a few moments of post-coital bliss when he felt his arm being lifted off the bed and a warm body slid underneath it. His previously closed eyes popped open to find that a heap of blonde hair was in his face and a perfectly round tush had just maneuvered into a position that closely resembled his own; they were spooning. This was something they had not yet tried simply because spooning with someone required a certain amount of tenderness and embrace that Joker was not usually comfortable with. But this felt kinda nice…

He sighed deeply into her mess of fragrant curls and slid his arm under the blankets to curl around her naked waist. She was warm and felt as though she had been molded specifically to fit his body. Also, the fact that she had her back to him was a plus. This way, he could grin as goofily to himself as he wanted to without her catching him.

Harley seemed perfectly comfortable so Joker shut his eyes again and was about to really drift off this time when she broke the silence. "Joker, tell me a story."

Frowning, Joker replied "About what?"

"I don't care…something interesting." She urged him on, feeling sleep begin to tug at her eyelids. His voice was deep, soothing and she could feel his heart beating against her back as they lay locked in an embrace.

"Well…" he took a deep breath, shut his eyes and began where he left off. "I knew this guy once…good lookin' kid…Kinda quiet guy, never smiled much, never really laughed, mostly kept to himself…But he had this wife." He paused, swallowed and continued. "She was beautiful…long, blonde hair, green eyes. She looked a lot like you."

"Really?" Harley asked sleepily, grinning to herself as she melted further into Joker's arms.

"Yeah…And this guy had a daughter…Looked exactly like her dad. Well, they had financial problems constantly and they had no money. The guy didn't have a very good job so he had to start looking elsewhere for work. So he turned to Chicago's oldest mob family to try and find work. They let him do small jobs here and there for small pay but…he still couldn't pay bills. So…" Joker laughed to himself, tightening his grip around Harley's middle. "So this kid decides he's gonna come up with this plan to kill the mob boss. But a snitch gave away the whole plan."

"So this guy comes home one night to find his wife and four year-old daughter tied to chairs with their throats slit and their faces carved into smiles." The Joker paused in his story to open his eyes; he could still see the memory on the insides of his eyelids.

"The words 'Why so serious?' was painted on the walls in their blood. So…this guy fell on the floor and lay there between the bodies for about two days. He had been trying to lay there until he died, hoping, _praying _someone would come in and stab him in the back. In fact, he wanted nothing more than to die. That was the ultimate goal. But then he realized that drowning in sorrow and self-pity is a pathetic way to die. So he started laughing and stood up, took the knife out of his wife's neck and cut his face to match them. And he's been nothing but trouble ever since."


	24. The Best Night EVER!

Harley opened her eyes as the door clicked shut softly behind Joker and already she was practically shivering with tears. Her entire body hurt for him and it had been so hard not to throw her arms around his neck, tell him she loved him and swear her utmost devotion to him. But Harley knew that Joker would not have liked that. He would have been embarrassed, maybe even a little angry. So she feigned sleep. It had been impossibly difficult not to move when Joker sat up and leaned over her to discover that she had fallen 'asleep' and the sigh he heaved broke her heart into thousands of tiny pieces.

He was gone and she had no idea where to, but when he got back, she was going to run downstairs, jump into his arms and tell him she loved him…and his scars.

The wind rushed past the open car window loudly, rustling Joker's messy, green curls as he drove along back roads toward the outskirts of town where Wayne Manor stood. The sun had set while he and Harley were laying in bed and he was counting on the small, waning moon to provide him plenty of darkness in which to maneuver. Thomas Wayne's pocket watch glimmered faintly on the seat next to him; Joker was planning on delivering this personally. He wasn't sure why he wanted to do this, but Gotham's millionaire playboy had never been of interest to him so he figured he might as well get to know the guy a little.

After a fifteen minute drive and after Joker had stowed the car somewhere safe and protected, he moved along through shadows toward the massive front gates of Wayne Manor. Everything was quiet so far which he was thankful for but when he grabbed the handles for the gates, he found it was locked. _No surprises here…_he thought to himself with a generous roll of his eyes and began to trudge through the piles of fallen leaves along the gates to find another entrance possibility.

From the depths of the forest entrance behind Wayne Manor, a figure in all black gazed out from between the trees at the tall, lanky, hunched figure of The Joker. Batman hadn't the faintest idea why he was here at the mansion but he hoped his father's pocket watch was somewhere tucked into one of The Joker's many, magical and mysterious pockets. He just had to find out which one and if he could do that while avoiding a fight, things would be moving in Bruce's favor.

Several minutes later, Joker stood before the front gates again, glaring at them. The entire perimeter of the mansion was gated off and would be impossible to get through by hand. _If only I had brought explosives…_he thought. But suddenly, his head was being thrown forward and the metal of the gates rang loudly as his skull collided with one of it's beams. He staggered back from them with a groan, clutching his now bleeding forehead as his vision struggled to refocus.

"Christ, Batman, what have I told you about starting with the head?" he shouted, laughing but the invisible mass of black came rushing at him again, knocking him to the ground.

"What are you doing here?" The vigilante demanded, standing a few paces from the clown as he stood up, brushing leaves from his purple suit.

"Why do you care? Are you Bruce Wayne's personal guard rat or something?" Joker spat in return, taking a step forward to shove Batman away from him. He giggled to himself at his cleverness but grunted when the masked man threw a punch, hitting him square in the jaw.

"I care because I'll protect anyone from psychopaths." Batman replied in his deep, gravely voice.

Joker wiped the trail of blood from the corner of his mouth as he laughed breathlessly. "Would you protect me from a psychopath?" he asked teasingly as he circled the Batman. "Cuz I live with one."

"Harleen Quinzel is not a psychopath, Joker. She was a perfectly normal human being until you came along and poisoned her mind. You ruined her." Batman growled, keeping his eyes glued on Joker as he stepped forward to start this fight until he heard the hammer of a gun click into place.

Joker's black-rimmed eyes glared at Batman from behind the gun that he had just pointed in his face. "I didn't ruin anything, Batsy. I _perfected _ Harley Quinn. And if you really must know, I'm here to negotiate the return of a valuable with my dear friend Bruce Wayne, so if you'll excuse me.." He had only gotten two paces when Batman's solid mass crashed into him and suddenly both men were on the ground, throwing punches, grabbing for each other's necks in what looked like a fight between two high school boys.

Neither were quite sure how long they had been on the ground, fighting, but as blue, red and white lights began to spin and loud sirens split the night air around them, Joker and Batman both froze mid-swing to look up; they were completely surrounded. If it hadn't been enough that they had been caught fighting like schoolboys, Joker had been quite literally sitting on Batman's chest with his fist pulled back, ready to connect.

"Oh heeeeeey, guys!" Joker managed to jeer just before two huge police officers tackled him off of Batman and onto his face on the ground where they twisted his arms behind his back. "Did everybody miss me? Jim! Where is Jim Gordon?" he was shouting but burst out laughing as a heavy boot collided with the back of his head and he looked up momentarily to see that Batman had gotten away with a cheap shot…as he was lead away in _handcuffs?! _

As the two officers lifted Joker to his feet, he looked around wildly, hoping that his eyes were not failing him and that he really had just seen the Batman in cuffs. Sure enough, a few yards away, Jim Gordon was reading the Bat his rights and Joker did nothing to stifle the loud, obnoxious laughter that erupted right out from very deepest part of his soul. He strained at the men's grip on his arms as Batman was pushed into the back of the car.

"Can we ride together?! I promise we'll behave!" he shouted at Gordon as his laughter continued to drown out everyone else's words around him.

"Get them to MCU and into separate cells. We have a long night ahead of us." Gordon was throwing commands in all directions as he walked toward the car that Joker had just been shoved into. Hatred coursed through every vein in his body as he gazed down through the window at the smiling clown behind the glass. Joker looked back up at him, leaned forward and kissed the window before bursting into more obnoxious laughter as the car lurched forward.

Batman's dark eyes glared at the cold concrete floor, trying to drown out the jeers and shouts of the other inmates being held in the Major Crimes Unit. He had put most of these men in here, that same night no less, and now as he sat there amongst them, he wanted to curl up and die. This was the worst case scenario possible and with all his gadgets and life-savers locked away, it appeared as though there was no escape. It was only a matter of time before they came in and took off his mask…_At least Joker isn't here yet, _he thought.

At that same moment, the metal door for the cell next to his swung open and he looked up only to find that someone had just shoved Joker into it. His purple coat had been stripped from him and he was surprised to see that most of his makeup had either come off accidentally or someone had tried to wipe it off. The left half of his face was practically bare, leaving him looking more grotesque than usual. The moment he lay eyes on Batman, a huge, stupid grin stretched his entire face.

"My, how the mighty hath fallen…" he taunted, walking over to the set of bars that separated them. His long fingers curled two bars and he stuck his face between them. "You know, fighting with you is fun all by itself but getting arrested with you is probably the best thing that's happened to me in a while." Joker paused, thinking fleetingly of Harley. "Well, not the _best_ thing, but pretty damn close, Batsy…pretty damn close..."

Batman remained quiet, looking up as an officer walked over to their cells. "Get up, both of you." He barked but jumped back about three feet as Joker suddenly lunged at the bars.

"Don't talk to Batman like that, you ingrate!" he shouted, but burst into loud cackles. "Look at all the wonderful things he's done for this city!" Joker was howling with laughter as two guards entered his cell and linked handcuffs around his wrists. He did not fight them since he had no intention of trying to break free at this point; he was having way too much fun.

Down a dimly lit hallway, Joker and Batman were led toward a room that both instantly recognized as the interrogation room in which they had recently fought. "Aww, this brings back so many memories, doesn't it?" Joker jeered again, giggling as he reached out as far as he could to try and grab Batman's hand only to be slapped away.

They stopped just outside the door and waited for Jim Gordon to pass them. As he did this, he looked away, suddenly feeling very small; he never really realized how tall Batman and The Joker were. Both men easily stood six foot two or three and as Gordon glanced up, he found that Joker was baring his teeth at him in a very wide, very snide grin. Gordon shivered; this clown is truly terrifying.

Inside the room, Batman and Joker were sat down at tables next to each other, both facing Gordon as he sat across from them, two rather large files before him. As the room settled into recorded silence, Jim looked at both The Joker and Batman with narrowed eyes, his fingers crossed on the table before him.

"What were you two doing at Wayne Manor this evening?" he asked, looking to Batman for the first answer. Joker did the same, leaning forward in his chair slowly to gaze up at Batman with an expectant look on his face.

After glaring at Joker, Batman turned to Gordon. "I'm always out and around at night. I protect any citizen of this city, poor or extravagantly wealthy."

Jim, seeing that this answer was good enough, now turned to The Joker who sat up, crossing his hands in front of him, mimicking the Commissioner. "Well, I was just going to pay a little business trip to my old pal Bruce Wayne but I was rudely interrupted." His voice grew deep and quiet at the end of his sentence as he leaned forward toward Gordon, licking his lips with an insane grin.

"So, let me get this straight…You both just happened to be at the same place at the same time tonight? And you just sort of ran into each other?"

"No…It was more like this over-sized rodent ran into _me_ while I was minding my own business." Joker explained and the room fell silent while Gordon sifted through what appeared the be The Joker's file.

"Harleen Quinzel is wanted for the murders of seven people. Where is she?" he demanded moments later and Joker sat back in his chair, a look of astonishment on his face.

"Well, Commissioner, I don't have any idea. She could be anywhere right now." Joker replied, grinning widely. He knew Harley was at home but there was no way he was about to tell them anything of use. "I don't keep _that _ close an eye on her. She seems fairly able to uh…handle herself?" he licked his lips.

"She was a very gifted psychologist, Joker. It's a true shame you poisoned her mind like that." Gordon glared at the half-painted face of the Joker as he leaned forward.

"You know what she's even better at?" he asked in return, eyeing the Commissioners lips as if trying to pull a response from them.

"What?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Killing cops."

Anger flashed red and hot in Jim's eyes as he looked into the two-way mirror at his colleagues on the other side. "Get him the fuck out of here. I'll kill him. Put him in one of the back cells, I don't care which one, just have a guard."

As two officers entered the room, Joker looked up in astonishment. "Aww! Am I being kicked out of class?" he asked as the two men hustled him toward the door and he fought against them, trying to turn and see Batman. "But I don't want to miss the fun! Take his mask off before I leave!" he was shouting. Batman and Gordon stared at each other blankly as they listened to Joker's loud, clowny laughter as it carried down the hallway.

"There's something different about him." Batman practically whispered to Gordon, low enough so the recording couldn't pick up his voice.

"You're right," he immediately agreed. "He's much more vocal, much more energetic. There's definitely something different about him. But, he's still The Joker, there's no denying that…"

Joker looked up from his spot on the floor of his cell as someone opened the door for the cell next to his. His lips widened to show his yellowing teeth as Batman glanced in his direction before laying down on the small cot with his back toward Joker's cell. "So they haven't humiliated you yet?" Joker asked, indicating the mask that Batman was still wearing. "Good. I didn't want to miss it."

When Batman showed no sign of speaking, Joker sighed, standing up to pace his cage a little. "Ya know, this is all your fault that we're in here. If you had just let me go-.."

"Bruce Wayne would never have negotiated that watch with a criminal, especially not you." Bruce threw over his shoulder at the clown, dropping the voice he used for Batman. His throat hurt and there was no point anymore; they were still going to take his mask off.

"Now, isn't that funny, I thinks to myself." Joker bristled like an excited dog, pacing back and forth behind the bars, his hands linked behind his back. "I don't recall ever saying that it was a watch." He stopped walking to brace two bars, place his face between them and grin. "Oops…Looks like the Bat's out of the bag."


	25. SePaRation anxiEtY

Harley plopped down onto the couch with a heavy sigh the next morning and she folded her arms over her stomach, grumpily. She had woken up to an empty bed for the third day in a row and all morning, she had grumbled irritably to herself about how she was going to talk to Joker about this when he got home. She understood that he had to be out and doing his murder/mobster/whatever he did at night stuff but he also had a woman in his bed alone every night. Being alone gets old after so long.

But as the hours moved on, Harley began to glance at the broken, crooked clock on the wall more frequently and by the time one o'clock rolled around, it was safe to say she was flat out worried about him…Well, not _worried_ because Joker was perfectly capable of fending for himself, obviously. Harley was more along the lines of agitated that he hadn't come back yet. With an audible groan, she flipped on the television and sat back, curled up in the soft purple blanket from she and Joker's bed.

The news was on, some anchor flapping his gums about something stupid. Harley was in no mood to hear all this and instantly questioned her decision to turn on the TV. Everything annoyed her at this point. But just as Harley was about to flip the television off, Joker's name caught her attention and she looked up to see footage of her man being shoved into a police car in handcuffs.

"Mass-murderer and psychotic freak show, The Joker…" Harley smiled widely; _that's my man_. "and the Batman were arrested late last night and are currently being held in custody." Her smile faded as the reporter went on to introduce a clip of Jim Gordon from a press conference early that morning.

"Yes, Batman and The Joker are behind bars and are being held in the MCU until travel arrangements for larger facilities can be made." He was saying, his eyes somewhat expressionless as he spoke.

In the background, a reporter could be heard shouting his question. "What about Harley Quinn?".

Jim Gordon paused, lowering his hand. "We are still searching for her. Joker is not giving us anything to go with but we are still vigilant. She is Gotham's number one most wanted person."

Although this last bit of news gave her a sort of sick satisfaction, Harley could not fully enjoy it. The news that Joker had been arrested and was not, in fact, coming home anytime soon was discouraging and she blinked back tears furiously to keep them from spilling down her cheeks…Joker would not want her to cry.

Batman rolled over as sunlight filled the row of cells and he blinked with a groan as the events from the previous night came washing back over him like a flood. He did not want to open his eyes, knowing all he would see was the gray painted concrete walls of the Major Crimes Unit. He also had a huge feeling The Joker was already awake, standing at the bars, waiting for him to wake up. Slowly, he turned over to sit up and looked across the room to see Joker in his cell, facing the wall, apparently asleep. Batman arched an eyebrow; Joker does something normal?

Across the room, Joker stared at the wall dazedly, scratching the paint off in one section slowly, aimlessly. He had not slept much and every time he managed to drift off, someone in a different cell would cough moments later or something would wake him. As he lay there on the small, uncomfortable cot, his mind kept floating back to the evening before in his bedroom with Harley when they had been spooning. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine what that felt like again. He would have given a lot to be back there now in that comfortable bed with his only friend, just the two of them, hugging and smooching. Joker sighed heavily. This was not so fun anymore.

Over his shoulder, Joker could hear the Batman stirring but he did not move from his position. He did not care at this point to tease him, since it was already growing rather pointless. Joker could be pretty positive in his mind that the man in the cell next to him was in fact Bruce Wayne…obviously. But, as he lay there and mused at the wall, Joker came to realize that he sort of wished he hadn't found out. Batman had always been such a mystery and that was mostly what made him so much fun. Now that he knew who it was, this game had just become far too easy in Joker's favor. Gotham was most certainly at his mercy.

He would not tell anyone. No, that would be the worst possible thing he could do. Instead, he would hold onto this little slice of information and use it to his advantage…The tools of war…This definitely had to remain top secret. Joker nibbled on his bottom lip pensively. He wouldn't even tell Harley…

_Oh, Harley…_he thought with a heavy sigh.

Time, in jail, is a curious thing. Joker and Batman felt as though it had been forever since they had gotten there and yet as the sun set on their first day, both were ready to admit they already were a little blue. Bruce knew that Joker knew his secret and the fact that the clown had not said one word to him all day was starting to annoy him.

On the other side of the bars, Joker was sitting on the floor of his cell, his shoes off, his long legs stretched out in front of him. The carved smile on his face had been inactive nearly all day since the urge to grin had not approached him once. He could not figure out why being in jail this time _sucked so hard._ It could have been the fact that he wasn't expecting it. Most of the time, when Joker got arrested, he planned it or was ready for that sort of thing. This time around, he had been caught completely unprepared.

The more he sat and mused, tracing random patterns on the concrete floor with his finger, the wider his thoughts became and he soon found himself mentally admiring Harley naked. A grin finally cracked his face as that image flew into his mind. _There it is…_

One thought later, an uncomfortable pang shot through Joker's chest and in a fleeting moment of clarity, he realized that had been a stab of heartache.

_Fuck…I miss her. _

"Of course you do. What did you expect?" Batman said from across the room and Joker looked up, confused. _I guess I said that out loud?_ "She's so smitten with you. Did you really think you would be able to go along with this without falling for her too?"

Joker stood up quickly and immediately began to pace. "Shut up, Batman." He spat. "And yes, I did." He stopped walking as his eyes gazed unfocused at the wall. "This wasn't supposed to happen. I'm not supposed to miss her!!!" his voice bounced off the barren walls as he plopped back down onto his cot with a grunt.

"You're pathetic, Joker." Batman said from his position against the wall in his cell. "You think you're so scarred and damaged…" For the first time since they had been arrested, Batman grinned, pausing to be thankful for the metal bars separating he and The Joker before he continued. "I think you're a big softy at heart."

Joker's cot scraped the concrete floor as he jumped off of it to lunge at the bars connecting he and Batman's cage. "When we get out of here, I'll make sure to show you what a big softy I really am." His eyes glared murderously at Batman but the masked man did not move or speak so he backed away from the bars, letting his hands fall to his sides. "But, just for argument sake, let's say I _was _ in love with Harley. What difference would it make to you?"

Batman shrugged, sitting down on his own cot. "None at all. I mean…I _guess_ there's a somebody for everybody so…I _guess_ I'd have to be…happy for you in some sick way." he shook his head, disbelieving that he was really having this conversation with The Joker…It _did_ pass the time though.

"All I'm going to say is stop torturing yourself over this. I mean…unless you _like_ torturing yourse-…This is crazy…You know how you really feel about her."

"Batman?"

"What, Joker."

"…….Shut up."

Harley entered the bedroom that night, knowing the sight of their empty bed would depress her and sure enough, as she stripped naked and scooted under the sheets, hot tears began to fill her eyes. She choked them back furiously, trying to imagine Joker beside her. Harley had no idea why she was so tired when all she did that day was wander somewhat aimlessly from room to room, hoping somehow, mysteriously, Joker would be hiding in one of them, waiting for her to find him. But of course, he was not, so all Harley could do was go to sleep and hope he would be home sometime tomorrow.

The sun rose much too early the next morning but Harley was already awake to greet it, having been awake for most of the night. She felt as though her eyes were slipping out of focus and her entire body felt foggy…and she really missed Joker. Her brows furrowed as she shut her eyes. It was odd feeling so attached to The Joker. It was true, she knew very little about him and yet she was almost positive that in this murdering clown of a man, she had found her soul mate. Harley was so desperately in love with him and although he aggravated her and called her names, it had gotten to the point where this was the form of affection she had come expect and love from him. He always made a point of it to kiss her at least once everyday, although lately, he had been kissing her little bit more than just once.

Joker stood abruptly from his cot that same night, the night of their third day in prison and he ran his hands through his hair, anxiously. "Batman…we gotta get outta here." Bruce looked up from his cot across the room wearily. He, too, was exhausted of being detained but Joker truly looked as though he was slipping further into insanity by the minute.

"How the hell do you think you're going to break out of this place?" he asked, honestly a little amused by this and yet excited to watch Joker attempt this firsthand. Joker walked to the front of his cell, peering out along the dark hallway.

"Juuuust have to wait for a glitch in the system…for that one opportune moment…then reach out and grab it by the neck." He reached his long arm out through the bars, snatching at that imaginary opportune moment. "Just have to wait…" He sat back down on his cot with peeled eyes. This vacation had come to an end.


	26. SoIWontHesitateNoMore

Author's Note: Alright, folks. Here it is! Chapter 26! I've been sick lately so it took a little longer to finish, but I hope you enjoy it!!!

Batman turned over on his squeaky cot for what seemed like the one-hundredth time since the sun had set. He was guessing it was somewhere around midnight and Joker was still awake…Bruce knew this because Joker had not stopped making noise. He had been humming some song for nearly two hours and was not being very quiet about it. At first, he had started humming quietly but he grew louder and added words. Eventually, Batman recognized the tune as the part from the old Beatles' song that went 'na, na, na, na, na, na, na…Hey, Jude…' He groaned, closing his eyes to try and sleep in his mask again.

It had only been minutes, it seemed, since he had last been awake but the lights had come on down the row of cells and Bruce figured it must be morning. As he sat up with a groan, Joker caught his attention from across the room. He had just stood up and was watching the end of the hallway like a lion eyeing it's prey. Batman could practically see the hairs raising on the back of Joker's neck as a male voice was heard just beyond the double doors.

"This is it, Batman…This is that opportune moment." He growled, linking his fingers to crack his knuckles.

"You're about to kill someone in front of me, aren't you?" Batman asked, rising from his cot to approach the bars. Joker shrugged nonchalantly, his eyes still fixed on the doors.

"You don't have to watch if you're too…_scared._." He replied, grinning slowly.

Batman was now standing at the bars. "Well, I'm not going to let this happen. I can't let you do this." At these words, Joker rushed at him, gripping the same bars Batman was facing. Bruce did not back away.

"And just what exactly is your plan to stop me?…Hmm?" His eyebrows were raised in question but when Batman did not answer, he rattled the bars angrily. "You and I are not meant to be in…here, Batman. We get along much better out in the civilized world." His eyes looked urgent and possibly a bit manic but neither could continue the conversation; the double doors had just swung open.

An older, heavyset officer had strolled into the cells, carrying a ring of keys. "Alright, boys," he said arrogantly. "Gordon wants you up top to be moved." The man was staring down at his hand, flipping through the keys to find the correct one for the cell and Joker took the moment to glance at Batman while he loosened his tie.

Moments later, the heavy door to Joker's cell swung open and _foolishly, _the officer locked himself in. "Ok, hands behind your back." He grunted, twirling his finger at The Joker. Exhaling through gritted teeth, The Joker moved to turn but spun quickly, grabbing the officer's gun with one hand while the other whipped his tie from around his neck. He completely abandoned the gun and tucked it into the back of his pants; he didn't need it. Joker was going all hands on this one.

The officer was yelling but Joker had already stuffed his wadded up sock in his mouth, muffling his cries for help while the tie around his neck continued to constrict him.

"Shh…sh, sh, sh…" Joker was whispering as though soothing a crying child while the officer's face began to turn purple. "Wow, nobody has come looking for you yet." he taunted in his ear, struggling to hold the man, strangle him and yet lower him to the ground all at the same time. "They probably don't like you. That's why they don't care."

Batman watched in horror as the ashen-faced officer fell to the ground, motionless and Joker rose slowly from the body with the keys and his tie. His eyes met Batman's across the room and he laughed breathlessly, shrugging his shoulders.

"Some _softy_, huh?"

Batman was about to reply but Joker had moved on already and was outside his cell, moving toward the one Bruce was currently in. "Well, Batman, it looks like we've reached a dilemma here." He began, jingling the keys nonchalantly. "Ya see, I could let you stay in here and rot in jail while I go wreak havoc on Gotham _oooooor_…I could let you out…"

For the first few moments, Bruce had hoped that sanity would get the better of him and he would decide to stay in jail, but after glancing around at his surroundings, he took a deep breath. Staying in jail meant a lot of bad things for both Batman and Bruce Wayne and leaving with Joker, now, was quite literally a 'get out of jail free' card. So he stood up.

"Let me out. Hurry, before I change my mind." He said, completely abandoning whatever heroic action he had felt compelled toward before. Joker laughed, wagging a finger at him.

"Oh, no, no, no…I wanna make sure you understand something first. Time and affection from Harley has not softened me. I care way too much about her and that's my problem but do _not_ mistake my emotions for weakness. Got it?" He asked but stiffened at hearing distant voices. He growled loudly in frustration and began trying keys to find which one matched Batman's cell. "You are one lucky son of a-…" he was muttering to himself as he made the match and the door swung open. "Let's go. This way."

At the end of the row of cells, a glass paned door led to a stairwell and as Batman and The Joker flew down the stairs, sirens erupted through the building, echoing loudly. They quickened their speed, taking two stairs at a time until they reached the bottom and found the fire escape door; it was locked.

"Back up." Joker said, pulling the dead officer's gun from the back of his pants and he aimed at the lock and door handle. Batman retreated up a few stairs and plugged his ears to prepare for the loud bang that followed. The emergency door swung open on its hinges and Batman and Joker ran out into the alley, hanging an immediate right.

They had only been running for a few seconds before they both realized at the same time that it was raining. "Ah, SHIT!" Joker shouted, reaching up to wipe his old, running makeup out of his eyes as they sprinted down the alley. Next to him, he could hear Batman laughing just under the sound of the rain and Joker grinned, hoisting himself up over a random fence as Batman did the same behind him.

"Whenever we stop running, I'm gonna knock you the hell out, ya know that?"

And they ran forever it seemed until they reached the main intersection of Gotham City where they stopped to catch their breaths. As they stood panting in the rain, Batman looked at the man across from him. It was not The Joker anymore. The rain had washed away what was left of his makeup and this man was handsome and young but when their eyes met, the expression there was that of an experienced, soulless killer. This reminded Batman of who _this _man still happened to be. His voice was as chilling as ever when he spoke.

"Well, I suppose you owe me pretty big then, buddy ol' pal." He said.

"How do you figure?" Batman asked, blinking through the light rain that flecked his exposed cheeks.

"Well…I just broke you out of jail…aaaaaand…" he stepped closer, looming into Batman's face. "I'm almost positive you're Bruce Wayne. So in that case…_you owe me_, but ya know what? Let's do this later…I really need to be going... We'll be seeing each other."

And with that, the two parted ways, sprinting in the exact opposite directions.

Twenty minutes later, the rain had become torrential and Joker was exhausted, soaking wet, cold and filthy dirty. But he wanted to see Harley more than anything so he kept on and was currently trudging through the ditch that ran behind the Henderson House, his heart pounding furiously against his ribcage after running for nearly twenty minutes. But he had to keep going.

Up ahead, he could see the light to his bedroom on the second floor and his heart rate quickened as he approached. She was so close.

"Harley!!" he shouted, trudging around the side of the house. His entire body ached and he was freezing cold but as he turned the corner and peered into the house, he found the living room and kitchen empty. Hesitantly, he tried the door, not wanting the disappointment of it being locked to worsen his predicament. But it _was_ locked, so he was _fucked_, out in the pouring rain, freezing until Harley came down. Breaking into his _own house_ was NOT on his agenda after breaking out of jail. His green hair was hanging in his eyes but he didn't care until three seconds later when the door opened and Harley launched herself out into the rain and into his arms. He grunted, catching her as he staggered backward.

"Oh my god, Joker, I didn't think you were ever gonna come back. I was so worried, but I didn't want to break you out or any…" She would have continued but Joker had pressed his lips to hers, instantly quieting her crazed jabbering. Her hands moved to hold his face and as her fingers brushed against his deep scars, she sighed against his lips, ashamed at the hot tears she felt stinging her eyes. Moments later, he pulled away rather roughly with a growl and shoved her away from him.

"You have to understand something here, Harley." He began, taking a deep breath as he squinted in the rain. "I don't…_like_ people…I don't…_miss _people. So when I say that I missed you so much that I couldn't even _smile _while I was in jail…you'll know I'm tellin' the truth.." He licked his lips, stepping forward slowly to place his hands on either side of Harley's face as the rain continued to pour on both of them. Her face was flecked with water and Joker could not be completely certain which were raindrops and which were tears. Regardless, he stared deep into her bright, green eyes, wishing the ache in his heart would stop.

"I swear, Harley Quinn, you drive me absolutely insane and…you'll be the death of me but…there's something…_about _you that…I'm so drawn to." The rain was still pouring around them, muffling his words as he grew nervous and a bit awkward, letting his voice trail off. Harley was staring at him with those big eyes with a confused expression on her face.

"I can't hear you over the rain," she shouted. "What are you trying-.."

Joker stared at her incredulously, surprised to find himself a bit irritated. If it wasn't enough he was tying to spill his guts to the girl, the rain was making it nearly impossible to say anything, romantic or not. He stepped forward, grabbing her by the neck with both hands.

As he pushed her up against the wet, brick wall of the house, Harley clutched his wrists, gazing up at his brown eyes in the shadows. This was definitely not the reunion she had been expecting. He was breathing heavily and for a split moment, his fingers tightened their grip before he leaned in, his lips brushing against the lobe of her ear.

"I'm _trying _to say that I've fallen in love with you." He cooed into her ear and for a moment, Harley almost forgot this was The Joker. His voice was so quiet and gentle, almost as though he had just told her a secret that no one else could know…and that's exactly what he did. If anyone were to find out that Joker had fallen in love, it would be used against him; Harley had become Joker's one weakness. At the moment, she could not rid her chest of the fluttering he had just produced. His hands released her neck gently before Joker pushed his fingers up into her hair, cradling her head.

The goosebumps that had covered her skin forced Harley to shiver as she turned her head to look up at him. Warm trails on her face denoted her tears but her lips expanded in a small grin that sent Joker to his knees on the inside. "You love me?" she asked in a somewhat timid voice, closing her eyes as Joker pressed his lips against her temple, his hand trailing along her neck to her collarbones. He nodded, pulling away to meet her gaze as she looked up at him.

A sigh escaped him and a boyishly adorable smile stretched his scars. "Oh, yeah…I _really_ do." Harley's eyes lit up and Joker decided that there was no better moment to kiss her than this. His lips touched hers in the gentlest of kisses which she received with a soft moan, more tears reaching her eyes. Their tongues flirted and swept over each other passionately while Joker's hands slipped under the soaked material of her t-shirt, holding her waist close to his. His heart was beating out of control and his head felt a little fuzzy but as Harley broke away from their kiss, he took a deep breath, resting his forehead against hers to gaze down into her eyes.

"Joker, I love you too." She replied softly, tracing one of his scars with her finger. His hands cupped her face gently.

"Can I keep you forever?" Joker's voice was quiet but full of serious question and Harley found herself smiling as she looked up to meet his eyes. It was true; she loved this man, killer, psychopathic clown and knew that she would follow him to the ends of the earth, if he'd ask.

"Until death do us part." She replied, placing a small kiss on his chin. Joker grinned, picking her up to carry her inside.

"Well, lets not keep it waiting then."

**The Beginning**


End file.
